One of your first jobs as a father is being the “gatekeeper” for your wife and newborn baby. In fact, you assume this responsibility immediately upon your child’s entry into the world. If there are people waiting in the lobby to come see your infant child, someone needs to run point by responding to the text messages, phone calls, and knocks at the door. In other words, someone needs to be the “bad guy.”

Dads, listen to me when I tell you this: BE THE BAD GUY.

There will be times when your wife is not tired and not feeling well. There will be lots of times when your baby is sleeping. There will be times when everyone is feeling great, but you’d just like some time alone to enjoy being a family. It’s inevitable that during these times, someone will want to stop by to hold the baby or drop off some food or bring a gift. These people mean well, but remember that they don’t have a “right” to see your kid. Your kid is the commodity and basking in his/her glow is a privilege that is earned. You’re gonna tell people, “It’s not a good time to visit,” and their feelings might get hurt. It sucks, but you gotta protect YOUR PEOPLE from the OUTSIDE PEOPLE. That’s what gatekeepers do.

So, all you soon-to-be-dads, get used to saying these sentences: “Now’s not a good time to visit. Mom and baby are asleep.” Be ready to recite them semi-weekly at least for the next one-and-a-half years, but possibly for the next eighteen.