all I've ever wanted is to be loved so why when he says that word do I feel afraid like it's burden for someone to actually feel that way about me when all I've ever wanted is to be

All I've ever wanted is to be loved he makes me smile to my face hurts makes He me laugh till I can't breathe I think of him every single day I can't forget the sweet things he says to me I can't forget the feelings he makes me feel my anxiety made me hold my feelings back telling me I was feeling to much to fast I let the one in my mind do that to me control my feeling and I don't want to do that now that he's saying that he loves me I feel afraid to say it afraid to let myself express all of thoses feelings I was holding in it's not that I haven't told him because I have but every time I say that word I feel the one in my mind and the way she makes me feel and I wish I didn't feel her I wish I could just feel what I feel for him without her being there without feeling her on the surface because all I've ever wanted is to be loved