Before you guys think that I’m sad, I’m not… anymore. I was during mid through the relationship but it took awhile for me to get over it. I’m glad that this happened to me because now I know how people are after breakups. I might’ve got it worse but either way it feels horrible. When I talked to my friend about this whole thing, he mentioned something about narcissists. I didn’t know what that meant so I researched it and surprisingly, I found connections. While I was researching what a narcissist is, she fits perfectly. I connected all the little things when we met together during college. She also bought one of the newest cars that currently came out at the dealership. She's already five figs in debt from one of the most expensive colleges in the area. I remember Sophia telling me that when we went to the mall to get lizard food… Sophia didn't even need a new car. I think the main reason why she bought a new car is because I told her I spent six thousand on my car and my gaming computer setup. Sophia wanted to do everything on her own. Another connection was at the park, comparing herself for nearly an hour to the guy exercising at the park. Narcissists always talks about themselves and how they can do it better. After all the things Sophia said that she wasn't immature, she was and still is after all these years. Not responding to family, friends, nor anyone... But only if she feels like it. I should’ve left when I found out about what narcissists do in relationships but I didn’t. I read about them a month before Christmas. Sophia was doing nearly doing everything what I read about narcissists. I realized I like challenges and I challenged myself to be with one to see how it feels like. No one can be with one unless you’re a narcissist too, the significant other doesn’t know that they’re a narcissist, or they use you for something their whole life. What I’d like to call it, a “life supply.” I knew she was one (or turning into a complete one) and the only way I could be with her is being just like her. It was a bad idea because I felt myself changing into something that I would never be. The day when I realized I was turning into Sophia, I was torturing myself by ignoring my friends and family, leaving unread messages on my phone purposely. It was such a bad idea but I usually put myself in tough situations so I can understand and know what people has been through. When I was falling apart, I found out I needed support in tough times and I pretty much forced myself to eat my own emotions. I was down in the dumps and told myself "just stop dude, you're doing too much". My mind felt like it was messier than when I met her in high school. Now I've got to buckle and recover myself the best I can. Narcissists are only good for themselves and no one else. That's why I don't think relationships aren't made for them. That brings me back to when Sophia told me about her two relationships when I was gone. She only went out with them not even longer than four months. The same thing to me in high school. Being in a relationship with a narcissist made me realize you think more about yourself than that other person. They make you wonder if everything is your fault. Then after you start to question yourself “did I really do that”? I was being delusional and lost. Narcissists are always playing games, always immature, and never growing up. Being in a relationship with Sophia made me find out that narcissists are interested in people like them. They’re smart, they’re always keeping themselves occupied, they’re better than most people on everything they do, and always want to look good wherever they go. They know how to get you back no matter what conditions but for me, this is my last time for good. During that argument, Sophia mentioned that she was with the guy I hated in high school and that’s when I knew I was being used by her and her social media to get his attention back. Even though the guy cheated on Sophia and she knew that from the start, she still goes back to him because using me was a way of getting him back. Sophia and the guy knows I’m a “nice” dude so that was the perfect opportunity for Sophia to get him back. When I got to the main points on our argument (near new year's day), I asked her what she wanted from me. Sophia didn’t know what to say specifically and then froze. Everyone is different in some type of way so who knows. The saddest part of all, narcissists wants to be loved yet they are so afraid of losing love they act in ways that sabotages any love they may receive and make themselves unlovable. I also decided not to use her real name nor her friend’s name. Narcissists make you think about yourself more than them. Anyways, If you need someone to talk to you are not alone. Someone will always be there.