We fly all afternoon, and when the sun sets I decide to land and sleep. I see I good spot up on the side of a mountain and cruise towards it, slowing down and popping out the landing gear. We bump to a stop and I unbuckle my seat belt and stretch. Soren unbuckles his and looks to me as if awaiting instructions.

“I thought we’d stop and sleep.” I explain. Soren nods slowly and I see his eyes wandering around the small vehicle, and I can almost hear him wondering where we sleep. There is one small bed. I take one of the blankets off the bed and fold it on the floor. It’s a lousy excuse for a makeshift bed, so I throw my only pillow down too. I go into the bathroom to change into pajamas, leaving Soren to figure himself out.

When I come back out, he’s laying on the floor on the blanket under the winter coat I gave him. I gladly sink into my bed, exhausted from driving all day. I fall asleep instantly even with no pillow.

But only about thirty minutes later I wake up again. Soren is still awake, sitting upright on the floor clutching the pillow to his chest, rocking back and forth, shivering, and whimpering very quietly to himself.

“Hey.” I call softly, and Soren jumps. He looks up at me guiltily.

“I can’t sleep.” He whispers, as if it’s a crime.

“That’s ok,” I say sympathetically, “why not? Are you ok?” I sit up in bed. Soren is trembling slightly and worriedly peering around the corners and out the window.

“Petra...” He whispers, “I’m...scared.” He says it in such a small voice, and clutches the pillow closer. I get out of bed and sit down on the floor next to him. I gingerly put my arm around him and he flinches.

“Shhhh.” I whisper, and hold him tightly. He shrinks away from me, but I hold him still.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” I say softly, “just relax, I’m not going to hurt you.”

I feel him relax a bit in my arms and he leans into me.

“Petra?” He whispers in a shaky voice.

“Yes?” I say with concern, noticing his fingers twitching.

“...I don’t know why,” squeaks Soren, “But I feel differently with you than any other human.” He buries his head in his hands.

“How so?” I ask, still holding him gently. He hesitates a long time before answering, and I worry as his fingers twitch and he squirms around.

“...well,” he says in scarcely a whisper, “other people are very scary and I hate them. But you... I think I trust you. And when I see you I feel...safe?” He bites his lip and is looking away from me. I don’t know what he means by that.

“We can talk more later if you want,” I tell Soren, “Now we should sleep.” I pat him awkwardly on the back and stand up. He starts to lie down on the floor, but I shake my head and motion him over to my bed.

He looks uncertain so I pull him over. He needs all the attention I can give him, and I should keep a close eye on him at all times, it was only this morning he was going to take his own life.

With some coaxing I get Soren to lay down next to me in bed, but I can tell he’s uncomfortable being close. But I am here to help him, not coddle his weaknesses. So even though it’s super awkward, I roll right close to him and put an arm tightly around him. He feels tense but I keep holding him, waiting for him to relax.

Eventually his breathing gets soft and slow and he leans back on me. I peek at his face in the dark, and see he’s asleep. For some reason my heart feels painfully soft when I see him. I have never felt soft before and I don’t like it. Am I getting weaker? Or am I just getting less aggressive and harsh? I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. As I fall asleep I work on my plan to help Soren.