Unveiled: the Literary Outtakes

I wrote the first draft of Unveiled during National Novel Writing Month years ago, with way too much caffeine and way too little sleep. There were a lot of mistakes. Autocorrect fails, words left out, sentences that make no sense. I’d always intended to publish my bloopers at the end of my book, but when I arrived at Tapas and heard about Inksgiving, I decided these would be perfect for it. You don't need to have read any of my novel to read the episode below. You just need the desire to laugh at someone else's mistakes. :-)

Without further ado, here are the Literary Outtakes from part 1 of Unveiled:

***

Scavenger moved toward the far side of the bed and couched next to the wall. 

(crouched)

They were in a valley now, with hills sloping upward on either side helping to block out some of the relentless summer sin.

(sun)

Later that day, she took what was probably her first deep, relaxed breath in the state of Ohio as she stepped outside with her laundry brisket.

(basket)

He got out fist and pulled the boar up onto the shore.

(first, boat)

Riley turned around and moved as fast as she could toward the Rocky beach.

Where boxers were waiting on the shore?

Riley wasn’t sure what she was expecting him to say, but whatever it was, it wasn’t that.

She wasn’t sure what it was, but whatever it was, it wasn’t?

He walked her toward the trees, and when he was out of earshot of the otters, he turned to face Riley.

(others)

She blinked as he began glowing gray gray.

...

Kristie’s wet phone wasn’t.

???

Xander’s jaw drooped open. “I’ve never head of hat either.”

(dropped, heard of that)

Riley was focusing on becoming inverse bile.

(invisible)

Reed noodled and transformed.

(nodded)

If you want to sleep, you go to Ed.

(bed)

A swan escaped, and she leaned her head on Gabe’s shoulder.

(yawn)

When I’m tired, I spell.

(sleep) … or not?

She closed her yes and began to drift off.

(eyes)

This is an act of watt!

(war) ... I turn on a light bulb in your general direction.

That’s twice as long as I used to be able to hold my breath, but nowhere near the twenty minutes you have on your list of possible tits.

(possibilities)

She walked from the tunnel entrance to the parking lot twice.

Why was that necessary?

“He would kill me snowy,” he agreed, kissing her neck instead.

(slowly)

We’re beginning to bet serious.

(get) ... Vegas, here we come!

She would rather lose everyone at Greenwood than lose either one of them, let alone both, but she had no chick.

(choice)

“Geese!” he said hen he could finally catch his breath.

(when)

Ye, you’re right.

(Yes) ... Thou art correct. Yea, verily.

At three in the morning, the world was Alamo silent.

(almost) o_O That’s some serious silence right there. This was my favorite mistake.

No one else was tired, but they couldn’t talk about what they wanted about, and no one felt like not.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

She finished changing clothes just as the breakfast bell ran, and then she walked up to breakfast with her fiends.

(rang, friends) ... “Look out, here comes the breakfast bell!” Never fear, my fiends have everything under control.

Riley frowned down at Xander in protestant as she walked past him on her way out the door.

(protest) ... I’m sure this is very different from a Catholic frown.

She knew he’d hard Xander.

(heard)

Susanna brushed her light brow hair out of her eyes.

(brown)

She followed Xander back to the office and sat down on one of the finches.

(benches)

Xander puked her to her feet.

(pulled) ... Ew.

“How often do you do this now? Walk around indivisible?”

(invisible) ... Daily, by the way. I skip around with liberty and justice for all, you should see that.

The next morning, she went to the pavilion after breakdance to train with Xander, Katrina, Darren and Gabe.

(breakfast)

I wish my Sheila was stronger.

(shield)

Gabe pressed Riley back against the pooch railing.

(porch)

In pie of his powers, Gabe was vulnerable.

(spite)

Reed stared down at her, grinning from ear to eat.

(ear to ear)

It was weird that she knew so much about her roommates’ stalactites, but nothing about her own brother’s.

(abilities)

Although she was still scared, Riley felt strong and catapult.

(capable)

This answer had Riley practiced beforehand, and she recited now it with confidence.

Today the part of the author will be played by Yoda.

Leave my purple alone.

(people) ... Crayon thief.

“You did it!” Alley whale do.

(Alley squealed, maybe...? I think that’s what I meant to type? Hell, I don’t know.)

***

Thank you all again and again for subscribing, reading, and otherwise hanging with me. The next chapter of Unveiled drops tomorrow, and in it, we'll see something terrible happen to one of the Greenwoods... 🙈

Best of Inksgiving to everyone! 

~ Burgin