Theodore had missed a call from Connor the night before. Maybe missed was the wrong word. He had, after all, turned off his phone as soon as he left Connor’s apartment. Everything was a mess, and he was pretty sure he was the one messing everything up. No. That wasn’t true. If everything was his relationship with Connor, then Connor was the one messing everything up. If everything was Theo’s general happiness, though, he was probably responsible for messing it up. Except screw that because Connor should have to take the blame for that, too.

Theodore wanted to be with Connor. Pretty much all Theodore wanted out of the rest of his life was just to be with Connor. Connor was like...electricity. In human form. At times, he seemed almost superhuman. He was handsome. He had a strawberry tint to his dark brown hair. His skin was always, even in the winter, slightly tanned. He had bright, white and perfectly straight teeth. He wore leather jackets and designer jeans. Theo kind of thought that Connor looked like he belonged in a boy band or hosting something on MTV. Connor was just a little bit short, had to wear glasses, and, well, couldn’t even kind of sing, but that was the grand sum total of his flaws. They weren’t even real flaws, they were all just things about Connor that Theodore found endearing. Connor’s only real flaw was that Theodore was in love with him, and Theodore didn’t really fit into his life.

Connor was smart and always going. He worked for himself, basically everything freelance, and used different personas so they wouldn’t have to clash. As C.D. Eubanks, he worked as a freelance writer and photographer. He would write everything from reviews of books and movies to more investigative and explorative pieces. As a photographer, he worked primarily with weddings and kids during their senior year of high school. Then, using the pseudonym Knight Rocker, and with a well-maintained disguise, he’d deejay at clubs and he cultivated an insane and somewhat lucrative internet presence. He would trash-talk his neighbors in a blog and trash-talk classic literature in a vlog. His Twitter was full of political jokes and threads of people watching. His Instagram was full of pictures of clubs and street style and Theodore’s cat, Jonesie. Then, whenever Connor would have some free time, he would substitute teach, always introducing himself as Dwayne, which was his middle name. He said that he was saving his real name for something he really loved. For a long time, Theo felt cherished just because he knew Connor’s real name, and about all of those separate parts of him.

Then, Theo had started worrying. Compared to Connor, Theodore felt pretty bland. Theo had once joked, “Is this all you do? Or do you moonlight as a street magician and a party clown?” Connor had grinned and winked and shrugged in response. Later, it occurred to Theo that those could very well be things that Connor did. Connor could have a side business as an interior designer and he could have taken up juggling and none of that would really surprise Theo. But Theodore? Theodore’s life was quiet and well structured. He taught. He volunteered at a soup kitchen. He took the train upstate twice a month to have dinner with his aunt. He spent the weekends looking up soup recipes and watching Stranger Things with his cat. He was...wholly uninteresting. Which would be fine. It would be nice and quaint. He could live happily as a bland person if he had fallen in love with another bland person. But he hadn’t. He had fallen in love with the human embodiment of electricity.

There wasn’t really a way for him to talk about this with Connor. He had tried before, but it had kind of devolved into an argument that ended with Connor saying, “Would you cut it out? I’m not embarrassed by you and I don’t want you to project whatever weird insecurities you have onto me.”

So, anyway, it wasn’t a productive conversation. Regardless of what Connor said, Theo was pretty sure that Connor was embarrassed of him. Connor was infallibly cool. Comparatively? Theodore was chubby and goofy, and he led a pretty mundane life. As he got older, he just seemed to be getting chubbier and goofier and more mundane. The only interesting things Theodore did were things that Connor brought him to. They would go to opening nights and rock concerts and art shows that Connor had to write reviews for. Theodore would go to clubs where Connor was deejaying to take photos for Knight Rocker’s social media accounts. He would lend a hand at Connor’s photo-shoots. This was how Theodore knew that Connor was embarrassed of him. Theodore had been around when Connor was interacting with his peers, employers, and customers. Usually, Theodore wouldn’t get introduced at all. If he did, it would be by a nod in his direction punctuated with, “This is Theo.”

They had almost been together for a year, and Connor hadn’t even told his family about Theodore. It wasn’t just that they hadn’t had an opportunity to meet, it was that Connor’s family didn’t even know that Theo existed. When Connor’s family was in town for his graduation in the spring, Connor asked Theo not to go to his graduation. Theo did, though. He sat in the back and slipped out early. None of the Eubanks saw him; Connor never even knew that he was there. He still hadn’t told Connor he’d gone.

Anyway. He had turned off his phone after he walked Connor home the night before. Then, he left it off because he wanted to wallow. And think. And chastise himself. He couldn’t get over the fact that Connor had asked Theo to marry him. Theo was pretty sure he had meant it, too. Theodore hadn’t looked in the box, and it was possibly just a prank, but it seemed an awful lot like Connor had even bought the rings. And then Theo…hadn’t said yes. So he was chastising himself. What if Connor never asked him again? What if he said “no” and then Connor had the opportunity to realize that Theo was just a chubby, goofy, mundane guy?

He had left Connor with the opportunity to cut and run. Afterwards, Theo kept thinking that he should have just said yes. They could have had a quick, courthouse wedding like a pair of straight teenagers who couldn’t figure out their birth control. Then, he could have gotten demanding and started pushing for more after the wedding.

When he finally turned his phone back on, he had three missed calls from Connor and a series of text messages ranging from irritated to concerned. When Theodore called him back, Connor harrumphed into the phone.

“What the hell, man?” Connor said in lieu of a greeting.

“Good morning to you, too,” Theo sighed.

“I was worried. Answer your freaking phone, you jerk,” Connor grumbled. Theo could imagine him, hair disheveled, wearing the same shirt he wore yesterday, with faint, tired circles beneath his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Theo offered. He hadn’t wanted Connor to worry, he had just wanted to sulk.

“I get that you’re pissed at me, but I’m still your boyfriend, and you should at least do me the courtesy of letting me know that you’re alive.”

“Okay,” Theo said.

“Can you meet me tonight? I have stuff to talk to you about.”

“What stuff?”

“Stuff. Just say you’ll meet me.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you.”

“At Serendipity?”

“Sure,” Theo agreed.

Connor was already there when Theodore arrived. He was wearing a white, v-neck t-shirt, designer jeans, and a leather jacket. There was an overpriced, over-the-top ice cream sundae sitting on the table in front of him. He was fidgeting with his phone. He sat it down, let out a huff, and glanced towards the door. As soon as he saw Theodore, one side of Connor’s mouth lifted, just slightly. Theodore slid into the booth across from him.

“Hey,” Connor said. Theodore started to greet him, too, but as soon as he sat down Connor started readjusting things on the table, Theo included. This had happened before. Theodore would arrive somewhere and suddenly become part of a photo-shoot. Once everything was situated--one of Theo’s arms resting on the table, the sundae in front of him, one of his hands lifting a spoon above it--Connor lifted his phone and snapped a few photos.

“Am I free to move now?” Theodore asked. Connor nodded in response, but he was looking intently at his phone, tapping its screen. Theodore dropped his hand and waited for Connor to finish.

Eventually, Connor sat his phone down and glanced, furtively, up at Theo. Then, his gaze dropped back down to the table in front of him. He sucked in a breath, released it, and finally spoke. His words were quiet. “Do you want to go to Kansas City?”

“What?” Theo asked.

“I know...I know we talked about going to your aunt’s for Christmas. But, if you want to, I already bought the tickets. We could go to Kansas City.”

“Kansas City,” Theodore repeated.

“Yeah. Like. Where my parents live.”

“Like where your parents live? Or to see your parents?”

Connor let out a frustrated breath. “Yes. I’m asking if you want to go to Kansas City to meet my parents. And my sisters. And my brother-in-law. And my niece. And my sister’s fake boyfriend, but we’ll get into that later, if you agree to go.”

“Okay,” Theodore said, frowning.

“Okay like you’ll go? Or okay like you acknowledge that I was just speaking?” Connor asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’re going to let me meet your family?” Theodore asked. Connor nodded.

“You want me to meet your family?” Theodore clarified. Connor nodded again.

“In what capacity?” Theodore asked.

“What do you mean?” Connor asked.

“I mean...okay. So, say I go to Kansas City with you--” Theodore started.

“Yes,” Connor interrupted him. “Say you’ll go to Kansas City with me.”

Then, Connor grinned in full and Theo laughed despite himself. He rolled his eyes, smiled at the table, and then continued, “How would you introduce me to your family? Would it be like, ‘this is my boyfriend, Theo’ or would it be like ‘this is my friend, Theo, his only family is his Jewish aunt so he didn’t have any plans for the holidays and…’”

Theodore stopped talking because Connor had quit smiling. Under the table, Connor pushed his foot against Theo’s. He picked up a spoon and swirled it, mindlessly, in the sundae that was melting between them. Without looking at Theodore, he asked, “Could you stop being mad at me now? I am trying to make you happy here. You said that you wanted to meet my family, so--”

“I do want to meet your family,” Theodore told him.

“So come with me. I’ll tell them. And you’ll meet them. And then--” Connor’s words dropped and they both felt the weight of that silence. And then.

“Okay,” Theo said, voice a whisper. “I’ll go. I want to.”

“Yeah?” Connor asked, peering at Theo over his glasses.

“Yeah.”

Connor let out a breath, relieved, and leaned back in his seat. He slipped out of his seat entirely and moved to sit next to Theodore. He pushed his shoulder into Theo’s side and rested his chin on Theo’s shoulder. “I love you, you know.”

“I love you, too,” Theodore said.

Connor smiled and pressed his lips against Theodore’s. As they kissed, one of Connor’s hands snaked around Theo’s side and he pressed his fingertips against Theo’s ribcage. “Maybe,” Theodore thought, “He’ll ask me again. And, if he does, then, this time, I’ll say yes.”

“Are you still mad at me, though?” Connor asked, passing Theodore a spoon.

“No. I was never mad at you,” Theo said, dipping the spoon into the ice cream.

“Bull,” Connor said, bumping his shoulder back into Theo’s side. “But Theo? Could you, like, take a break from being mad at me? Because I don’t particularly like sharing things with my family and this trip is going to be really hard on me. It would be nice if, at the very least, you were on my side.”

Theodore pressed a kiss next to Connor’s ear and said, “I’m forever on your side.”

Connor studied Theodore for a moment before lifting one shoulder in a shrug. “I’m deejaying tonight. Do you want to come?”

It was offered as an attempt to return them to normalcy and Theodore took it because he had never intended for there to be any pressure or animosity between them in the first place. He nodded. Connor smiled. They kissed again.

“Hey,” Connor said, quietly. He pressed his fingers up through Theodore’s hair and Theodore quirked an eyebrow in his direction. “My family is really going to like you.”