A name is a powerful thing. Once you know it, you can’t unknow it. Knowing someone’s name gives you a sort of power over them. Now you can call on them, now you can point them out in a crowd, now you officially know them and that is a scary thing for some people.

Some people like Mickey Bain.

At the time I didn’t think learning her name was such a big deal, in fact, it felt more like a relief than anything else. She was no longer a stranger I had met at a bar, now she was a person, a girl with a name that I could put with her face. Cataloged in my brain so that I would always remember her.

Only after the fact did I look her up and realize exactly what her name meant and what power it carried with it.

Here is brief summary of the story of Mickey Bain.

Mickey Bain ran away from home when she was only 18. Her parents are actually well known because her father helped invent and design a brain chip that can help blind people see and deaf people hear. The science is still out and they only just found a human to test it out but so far it looks promising. She comes from a whole line of doctors and lawyers and politicians her family is very well known. She was an only child, I say was because in her absence her parents had another baby, strange being as they are in their late forties already. She went missing just at the beginning of September when she was supposed to be going to her first semester at Princeton University. There is a reward for bringing her home, 500,000 dollars to be exact. There is also an interview with her mother on the news they did a year ago begging Mickey to come home on her own. Mickey was a social icon back in the day. She had a strong social media presence and kept up appearances very well. The Mickey on those social media sites is not the same girl as Riff. They are almost two different people. Back then she dressed preppy and looked like any other typical rich white girl. Then one day she dropped off the face of the earth.

People have been looking for her since.

It’s no wonder people haven’t found her, and it wasn’t just because she was a whole state over from where she went missing. Riff looks almost nothing like her old self. She’s lost a considerable amount of weight. Not saying she was fat before just curvy and filled out more. Her hair has grown out, it used to be a cute bob, and she always had a smile plastered on her face. Though I am pretty sure it was not genuine. Riff and Mickey Bain are two different people who have two very different lives. One is rough around the edges with a soft center, the other is a cookie cut out with a hard core. Both were somehow the same girl.

“You’re the first person I’ve told my name to in a long time,” she said quietly as we laid naked in bed and basked in the afterglows of sex.

“I feel honored.” I smiled at her and ran my hand up and down her back.

“I’ve been going by Riff ever since I ran away, to help keep me from being found. I made the mistake once of telling someone my name and it ended badly for both of us. Don’t make me make that same mistake again.”

“Your secret is safe with me; I’ll still call you Riff you want,” I said.

“I want to trust you… I don’t know why but I do.”

“I want you to trust me too.”

We laid there in silence for what had to be at least half an hour. I couldn’t really fall asleep even I wanted to. The acid was keeping me awake. So I just held her in my arms and listened as she softly breathed against my skin.

“We should get going.” She said after a while.

“Okay.” I didn’t make an effort to move.

Neither did she.

I guess it was because I knew once I did that it would all be over. The night was coming to a close and so was my adventure with Mickey Bain, better known as Riff. Where would she go? Where would I go? Could I really just go home and pretend nothing happened? Forget all about her?

No.

“Come home with me…” I said.

“No.” she didn’t even hesitate to answer.

I felt a pain in my heart.

“Please.” My voice wobbled.

She was silent again.

“I won’t tell anyone your name, I promise,” I begged.

She took a deep breath and sat up, I sat up too.

“I’ll admit, I haven’t felt this way in a long time,” she said to me.

“What way?”

“The way you make me feel Amara.” She smiled.

“Is that a good thing?”

“Depends on who you ask.”

“I’m asking you.”

She shrugged and avoided looking at me.

“Mickey.”

“What would you even do with me anyway huh? Hide me in your room all day?” she brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

“Love you,” I said.

She tensed up at that.

“You make me feel things too,” I said.

I saw her face get red. It made me smile.

“Come on, before the sun comes up.” She sighed and got off the bed.

I followed her.

The acid was wearing off but the effects still lingered. We took another quick shower together before getting dressed in our clothes that were on the kitchen table. Then we drank some water and went to the bathroom before walking out.

“Wait!” I said just before we could walk off the porch then I turned and ran back into the house.

I went back to the bedroom and grabbed the guitar before running back out.

“Got it.” I showed her.

She laughed.

“I’ve successfully tainted you.” she shook her head.

“It belongs to you, and you know it.” I handed it to her.

“Yeah, guess so.” She smiled and carried it in her free hand while holding my hand with the other.

“You know I could help you get a job, make you breakfast in the mornings, go to all your concerts. We could get your name changed; you are old enough that way your parents never find you. you could start over.” I suggested as we walked down the hill.

“Now that sounds nice.” She said.

“What do you think? Coming with me?”

“Nah. It’s nice of you to offer Solo but I have my own road I need to walk down. A road I got to walk alone. I dug my hole now I have to get myself out of it.” we walked up to the fence.

“You don’t have to do it alone.” I turned to her.

“I do.” With that, she threw the guitar over the fence before climbing up and getting over herself.

The sun was just barely coming up painting the sky a pale blue and purple color. It was still pretty dark out but not night anymore.

“Then I’m coming with you.” I climbed the fence and carefully slung one leg over before jumping off.

“Oh yeah? What about your life? Your job, your roommate, your family?”

“Who cares. I want to go where you go. I’ll run away too. It can be you and me, Riff and Solo.”

She laughed a bit before grabbing my hand again.

“You know you want me around.” I playfully teased her.

“A coward like you?”

“Hey!” I complained.

She laughed.

“Living on the streets is hard Amara. You wouldn’t make it.”

“I wouldn’t have to do it alone.”

“Why are you so insistent? You just met me a few hours ago.”

“This has been the best night of my whole life,” I admitted.

“That good huh?”

“Please. I want to be with you and if you won’t come with me then I’ll run away with you.”

“Throw away everything just for me?”

“You’re worth it.”

She squeezed my hand. I squeezed back.

We found the train tracks and followed them back to town. We walked in silence after that. We walked so long that my legs ached and I was tired. The drugs were out of my system and I wanted nothing more than to lay down and take a long nap. By the time we made it to town, the sun was up in the sky.

“Come with me,” I begged.

She looked at me with a mixture of uncertainty and sadness. We paused at a gas station I vaguely recall passing sometime last night. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.

“Suppose I do come with you, then what?”

“Then we figure it out. My bed is big enough for two.”

She took a long drag and blew the smoke out of her nose as she sighed.

I could tell she was considering her options. Really thinking about it. She stared off into space and her face was hard and cold. She thought about it until she finished her cigarette then she flicked it to the ground, snuffed it out with her shoe and started walking again. I quickly followed her.

“One day I’m gonna make it big.” She said out of nowhere.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and I’d like to shove in my parent's faces.”

“Then do it.”

She nodded to herself.

We found ourselves back in the neighborhood with all the rich houses. The red corvette was gone. It must have been towed.

“I’m tired,” I complained as my feet screamed at me in pain.

“Me too Amara… me too.” She kept on walking.

I frowned at her.

We made it to a park and sat on a bench.

We sat in silence.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget this night.” She said.

“Me either.”

She smiled at me. Then she kissed me long and hard before getting up.

“I’m just going to the restroom, I’ll be back.” She stretched.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you.”

she nodded.

I should have followed her. I should have known. Who takes a guitar to the bathroom? I sat there and waited, and waited, and waited. I am sure I waited a couple of hours at least. I think I was in denial. Then when I could take it no more I got up to look for her but the bathrooms were closed, and they had been all day.

Just like that Mickey Bain was gone again.

By the time I realized she wasn’t coming back I was already too tired to really process it. So, I asked someone if I could borrow their phone. Ordered me a car, and went home.

Alone.