I'm not necessarily unprepared. I have no reason on not going. It's my own time being gathered.
My research on the net has gotten me somewhere at least. I found dozens of principles and life philosophies to get me going. I need to go. This is what I dreamed of as a child. I can't let myself stay sick forever. This is my time to shine.
With the beats rolling around the sides of the room, I laid back on a couch.
"Here's your drink, Sir," cooed the waitress. She smirked, leaving with one more drink to serve. She handed it to a female co-star.
The female co-star peeked at me with dilated eyes.
I viciously drank the wine. It soothed me from within my soul, replacing my anxiety attack.
"Rino, you can stop staring at me now."
The female co-star, or Rino sat on a comfy chair a few meters from me. She frowned, legs crossed away from me.
"Rino, why don't you sit beside me here? It's more comfy."
I thought: I don't want to make her feel estranged or scared of me.
My old school crush ignored my attempts 5 times to count, and I really trusted her as a kind person that time. Everytime I remember those times, I get anxiety attacks often. I try my best to calm it down, but it would be better if I didn't have them at all.
I don't want her to have the same problem. I know she doesn't have anyone else except me, and I better respect that fact. Her parents are long gone, she's an only daughter, and she doesn't really have friends considering her shyness, and she doesn't attend school.
If someone has issues, then it's all of us, but if these issues are dealt with from the inside, no doubt a happy life is ahead of us.
"Why?" She slowly turned towards me.
She's a dear friend of mine, too.
"It's heaven in this couch. I'm serious." I'm essentially attempting a snow angel on a couch.
"Okay." She politely stood up, walked towards me, and sat down.
"Can I hug you?" She jolted and froze. "If you don't want, it's fine."
"O-okay, sure," she whimpered.
I hugged her softly at first, but I bear hugged her after she loosened up.
We rode on Aya's car, stopping by a store before heading home.
I told Aya she could stay over. I don't like travelling long distances late at night, and I thought she felt the same.
She gave a bitter laugh, putting up a peace sign. She stated, "I was planning to stay over anyways."
"Oh, is that so?" I gave a deep chuckle.
I browsed through a forum of a well-known content creator on the net. I saw numerous entries from her fanbase over there. They posted anything that'd be interesting to see, but it wasn't the forum that captivated me: it was her fans creating a community with her.
I should do the same, maybe. I wouldn't care though, would I? Vlogging for me sounds like something I do everyday. I tend to talk as if I was talking to an audience all the time for some reason. . . eh.
I stopped by the balcony. I don't have a balcony. Oh, I looked through the window. It's nice seeing fine weather. By fine weather, I mean rain weather. Cold air seeping through the windows feels nice. It's dreamy like that dude in the rain.
Wait. Why is there a dude in the rain? He in the middle of the street. He closed his eyes! What am I seeing? I better help him!
I ran outside, wearing the slippers I only use when I want to stop by Rino's house.
The man still had his eyes closed. I yelled "Hey!"
Realizing how wet I became, I went back to get an umbrella.
Once I got back, his eyes were open, taking a total 4 seconds before rotating his head toward me.
I put a hand under my mouth."Uh. Hey! You're in the middle of the road. and it's raining!"
He slowly opened his umbrella. "I like the rain."
I coughed. "Me too. But it's freezing and you could get sick."
"I don't get sick," he plainly muttered, closing his umbrella again.
"I. Hey. It's . . . nevermind." I slowly walked back back home and lay down. "That was exhausting. I don't like those kind of conversations. I can't win at them. Or handle them is what I meant to say."
It's nice to lie down. I fell asleep shortly after.
I gathered myself, sitting in silence for a minutes. I did a cold shower to maintain emotional balance. I ate apples to appreciate my senses. I resumed my gym training after a 6-day absence. I walked around the park to regain pace. I stopped by a convenience store to buy fruits and milk. I came back home, desperate to daydream. I freed myself of emotional baggage and I'm ready. Writing the next book in the series really helps to calm my nerves. I feel delighted and honoured to have another day with independence.
I don't to want to ever again lose my momentum. It's not even something I can do without getting anxious and depressed and then addicted to something or things. It's a no-no for me.
I realized soon enough the fellow on the street was my neighbor. Okay, so here's the gist of it. So basically, Rino's the neighbour beside me on my left, and the other guy, who I'm hoping to know the name of, is the neighbour to my right. He doesn't go out except to "bathe" in the rain as his other neighbours would quote it. They called him mahilig sa ulan, which means "rain lover" in their native language.
Right back where he started: my desk and laptop. A dreamworld awaits.
I stopped. "Wait. Where's Aya?"
I went back to my room to see her sleeping with arms and legs stretched. She's having the time of her life, huh.
"Oh my gosh. He's seriously going to win this." My sister woke up. She's stimulating this time of the day.
"What's up?"
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