A thin, black tray placed delicately on one hand, hot and cold drinks balancing on the latter, Ashil walked gracefully and with agility between the tables of the small cafe where he worked. Going outward, he joined his friends and placed their order in front of them. Looking behind his back, through the slightly tinted windows, Ashil made sure of the presence of customers, then he sat on the third chair around the small and round table, holding the tray against his chest.

"So, do you know what you're going to do?" Byeolhae asked him after taking a sip of her drink.

"Not really..." Ashil sighed silently. "Do I really have the choice?"

"When should you give him your answer?" Jaeyeon asked him, concerned.

"On Monday."

"Well, you still have one day to think about it!" Byeolhae declared cheerfully.

Yes, Ashil had twenty-four hours to know his answer. Twenty-four long hours.

His gaze lost in the distance, Ashil saw again the end of the day of Friday. While his last class had just finished, getting up after packing his things, his teacher had called him to go down to join the small dais at the bottom of the amphitheater. Before leaving his friends, he waved at them saying goodbye. He went downstairs with a slow and heavy step. Once in front of his teacher, the latter had asked him an unexpected request: that he becomes during his Human Relations class his assistant. Taken aback, shocked and intrigued, Ashil had asked him why. The only answer his teacher gave him was that he was his best student.

At the time, Ashil didn't know what to say, he stayed quiet. So his teacher had given him the whole weekend to think and give him his answer as soon as he would arrive at the university on Monday.

And it was almost twenty-four hours since he was still thinking, being undecided. Would he have the strength to present a course in front of dozens of people? Did he want to do it and rise in popularity? Did he want to risk leaving his comfort zone to please his teacher? Should he do it for himself or for his teacher? Who will benefit from this experience the most?

And as if that wasn't enough, his mind was still tormented by the disappearance of his letter and could no longer concentrate. So how could Ashil help if he was struggling to focus on courses?

Ashil was stuck between making a good impression and taking care of his sanity.

But as Byeolhae said, he still had twenty-four hours left. The fatal hour hadn't arrived yet. But the latter scared Ashil, because he already saw it.

"Byeolhae is right. You still have tomorrow, so tonight let's ease your mind. You're too tormented right now, it's not good for your health!" Jaeyeon said.

"He's right, Ashil. Barely twenty years old and you put the weight of the world on your shoulders, you have to breathe!" Byeolhae added.

"And how do I do that?"

"By going out in nightclubs!" Byeolhae and Jaeyeon said in unison.

Ashil rolled his eyes. He would blindly follow his two friends anywhere, but any place with a big crowd repulsed him, preferring never to set foot there. Unfortunately, on this Saturday of late April, he was not going to have the choice but to follow and stay quiet.

Ashil gave a faint smile and said quietly:

"We meet at 8pm?"

Byeolhae and Jaeyeon nodded. Ashil left them to return to work, letting his friends celebrate their victory.

Walking between Byeolhae and Jaeyeon, Ashil felt the pressure took up a notch. He knew they weren't going straight to a nightclub, eating and having a little fun before going. But only the fact that he will have to go to such a place worried him.

Ashil didn't like the crowd. He preferred places with an intimate atmosphere: cafes, restaurants, bars, arcades, boarding games cafes rather than large party spaces with loud music and bright lights. Ashil was a quiet boy who sought tranquility wherever he went. He wasn't a party-animal and didn't have alcohol, electro music, young neighborhoods as a definition of fun.

Sitting down inside a restaurant, Ashil faced his friends, a smile too playful at the corners of their lips. Ashil squinted slightly and said suspiciously:

"You're really proud of yourselves, aren't you?"

Byeolhae and Jaeyeon looked at each other and their smiles widened. Byeolhae nodded vigorously, while Jaeyeon replied with a categorical «yes».

Ashil rolled his eyes, smiling lightly. What could he have done to have these two people as friends? He hated them as he could love them. He knew it: one day they will kill him!

"Let's order, food will feed the demons that lie dormant in you," Ashil said while calling a waiter.

His friends surrendered and they ordered their meal.

The three friends ate happily, chatting and laughing. Over the doubts and worries of the week, the peace of the weekend finally came to rest on their shoulders.

The meal finished and paid, they went to a cafe where you could play board games. They sat at a table, ordered pastries and started a card game.

"Byeolhae?" Jaeyeon called her.

"Yes?"  She said and looked up from the cards she was holding in front of her, laying her gaze on him.

"This year we have to find someone for Ashil."

Ashil choked on the mouthful of cake he had just put in his mouth.

"You're right! It's been two years since he's in South Korea and we still haven't seen him in someone's arms!" Byeolhae said, outraged.

"Uh... you know I can hear you?" Ashil took part in the conversation.

"Yes, yes Hinata, we know," Jaeyeon said with a weary movement of the hand.

Ashil couldn't believe his eyes, his friends openly made fun of him! He didn't know if he should laugh at the situation or get upset. He had definitely landed in a parallel world!

"So tell us, Ashil, do you have any designs on anyone? A pretty girl?" Jaeyeon asked while placing a card on the table.

"Or a nice boy?" Byeolhae added.

Ashil bit his lower lip, embarrassed.

"I just wait for time to bring me love," Ashil replied in a low voice.

"Don't wait for it! Go and get it!" Jaeyeon said theatrically, taking Ashil by the shoulders.

Ashil lowered his head and a frail, pinched smile appeared on his lips.

Since he arrived in Seoul, Ashil had never thought of love. It wasn't his first concern, concentrating only on his studies. After spending two years away from home, he didn't know if he needed love in his life. He knew this feeling, but he had never felt it. And that scared him. It scared him because unlike the generality, this love didn't take on the guise of a pretty girl or a nice boy, it had no gender. And knowing that he couldn't fit in general thoughts, it didn't allow him to open his heart. So he was running away from this feeling said wonderful. He was avoiding all contact with this world he hadn't yet met. Of course, he waited for time to bring him to it, but it wasn't a desire hidden in the depths of himself.

"Keep laughing, keep laughing, but who says that in a month I will not desert and forget you because of this love? So do not cry wolf and play," Ashil defended himself by putting on the table the last card of his game.

Speechless, his friends remained silent in front of his words and his action. While Ashil had just revealed a secret truth, he also had just put down his last card and thus finished first in the game, filling Byeolhae and Jaeyeon with a fierce rage to finish second.

Ashil, Byeolhae and Jaeyeon stayed in this cafe for two hours, playing different games. As soon as the night became dark and the city emptied of children and elders, the real face of Seoul appeared. The three friends went to the popular neighborhoods in the eyes of young adults. On site, the atmosphere changed. The air was compressed, space shrank and time slowed down. The streets were crowded and in some streets it was difficult to move. The neon signs of the shops burned Ashil's retina. The different smells of food made him nauseous. The music of the various nightclubs and the loud voices of the passers-by made him deaf, no longer able to hear his friends.

The three friends rushed into one of the most popular nightclubs in the Korean capital, settling on three floors. They went upstairs to the first floor where the dance floor was. Arrived on the floor, the silence of the ground floor was dissipated. Ashil led his friends to the bar, where they ordered their first drinks.

After several drinks and shots, Byeolhae brought Jaeyeon to the dance floor. Jaeyeon called Ashil to help him but the latter apologized by showing his first glass still full. Even though Ashil wanted to save Jaeyeon from Byeolhae, he knew he wouldn't have made it out alive. Did Ashil just sacrifice his friend? Surely. Moreover, Byeolhae knew how to be persuasive. She never took a «no» for granted. Whether she's drunk or having a clear mind.

A big smile on his face, Ashil slowly looked away from his two friends wiggling on the dance floor. The place was so popular with young adults that you couldn't move. The bodies were sticking together without the people present wanting it. To move, they had to elbow their way through the crowd. The heat of the room already unbearable because of electrical devices, it became suffocating with so many people.

Ashil left the bar, leaving his drink on the counter. He had drunk only a quarter of it and it will be his only quarter of the night. He didn't like alcohol. He drank it as a courtesy. Going to the seats, he found a free one. He sat down heavily on the imitation leather seat and looked around the place. On the right was the staircase leading to the upper and lower floors, in addition to the large plexiglas bar lit by blue sky L.E.D. At the back of the nightclub, near the bathroom, was a stage where a DJ was mixing. Where Ashil was, on the left of the room, seats and tables raised slightly above the dance floor that took place between the three spots where the people concentrated.

In front of this sea of people, Ashil felt out of time. All those people were dancing, drinking, living the present moment, knowing unconsciously that tomorrow they will forget everything. While Ashil, he will remember each of them. Every single smile. Every single laughter. Every single movement. Every single facial twitch. Every single word. Every single song. Every single crowd movement. Every single face that will pass before his eyes. He will remember everything in the smallest detail. He will remember the life that continued to pass, while those strangers stopped it in their minds.

Ashil's gaze slid over his two friends, still dancing in the middle of the dance floor. While a few minutes earlier Jaeyeon was reluctant to follow Byeolhae, now he was dancing with her as if they were living their last night. A frail and sad smile lit up Ashil's lips for a second. He would like to go join them and have fun with them. He would like to be able to enjoy the taste of alcohol and let its fire burn his esophagus. He would like to let it intoxicate him, making his mind foggy. He would like for a few hours to lose control of his existence. Handing the reins to someone, something else. He would like to break the chains of this self-control that prevents him from enjoying the small pleasures of a young adult's life.

Ashil was envious of his friends. He was envious of the fact that there was no barrier against them. That no mountain was too high to overcome. That no sea was too difficult to cross. He was envious that they take life without much seriousness, enjoying its simplicity.

In front of this image, loneliness grew a little more in his heart.

Late at night or early in the morning, Ashil, Byeolhae and Jaeyeon left the nightclub. Holding Jae firmly by the waist with one arm and the other around his neck, Ashil watched Byeolhae tripping in front of him. Arriving on the main street and standing at the edge of the road, Ashil hailed a taxi. The latter came up to them and Byeolhae got into it. She waved at him as a goodbye and asked him to be careful. He assured her that he would be and the taxi left as quickly as it stopped. Replacing Jaeyeon correctly against him, Ashil headed in the opposite direction of the taxi.

A good hour later, Ashil finally saw the end of his journey. Still holding Jaeyeon by the waist, the latter was walking straight again. His eyes half-closed, he said to Ashil:

"You know, you shouldn't take our words, from Byeolhae and I, literally."

"I know."

"I'm being serious, Ashil. We know how difficult your life here is. You are far from home and your father. Even if it's been two years since you live in Seoul, we can see that sometimes you're homesick. Japan is your home. South Korea will never be, even if you find friends and a lover."

Ashil looked down sadly. It seemed that two years wasn't enough to feel at ease in another country, in another culture...

Ashil gulped.

"You don't have to worry about me, I'm fine," Ashil reassured him in a soft voice.

Taken to his home, Jaeyeon gently pulled away from Ashil's arm. He tapped his code on the Digicode and the door opened in a subtle «click». Ashil pulled the door for Jaeyeon and watched his friend rushed into his studio. He turned to face Ashil. Leaning on the doorjamb, his eyes glazed, he said with a serious tone:

"Don't let life suffocate you. Take what it gives you."

Ashil was stunned by his words, leaving him unable to move. He didn't notice his friend's departure until the sound of the closing door brought him back to reality, finding himself alone in the corridor plunged in darkness.