So we're the next morning, the first courses of this morning were as annoying as yesterday, but ! Lucky me my next course is math ! I like math, well... I like math cause I'm good at it, and I'm right now heading to it. I suddenly widen my eyes... Oh I know that face ! It's Connor and he's going towards me ! Should I hide or what ? too late…

"Hey Tyler, how are you today ?" I'm still not really confident about letting him enter my life. what should I answer ? something neutral. I answer him 'Fine' then stay silent a moment. He's still looking at me with a smile, he raises an eyebrow "That's good, I'm feeling great myself, thanks for asking" That makes me blush, quick abort ! abort !

"Sorry... well I have to go, class is gonna start !" I see a little deception in his eyes. I run away from him but I turn my head back at him while still walking when I hear him.

"Oh ok..." He gains back his smile as he continues "Anyway, we’re eating together at lunch !" it sounded like an order didn't it ?

It’s now noon, and, as soon as I arrive in the cafeteria, I see Connor running to me, smiling as always. With him is the boy that arrived when I left yesterday. Chris was it ? Connor says hi as they follow me into the line to get our tray.

“Hi, I’m Chris, we briefly saw each other yesterday when Connor was hitting on you” Connor turns to him with a glare and hit the boy with his elbow.

“Dude, don’t mess around he’ll think it’s true and he’ll run away !” I look at them, their friendship towards one another feels good to witness. Without realizing it my cheeks became slightly pink and I let a light giggle come out. Which makes Connor stare for a second before smiling back at me. I quickly shake my head to get my focus back, take my tray and go sit at the table next to the window while my heartbeat is slowing back down.

The two boys sit next to me and start talking but I don’t join the conversation, I’m simply listening to them talking about school, friends, making silly jokes and laughing, a lot. It’s making me remember my old friend, that I don’t see anymore, we were really close, he used to make me laugh a lot too. Here I am, smiling at the memories, until the pain comes back, I had to leave with my mother and my heart broke in a million pieces. As far as I can remember I always felt lonely, like I’ve been abandoned but I would always feel safe and happy whenever he was around me, he was my sunlight. Since we left, I never heard anything thing from him again, like he disappeared and I don’t talk about it with my mother because then I see that she’s feeling sad for me and I don’t want her to feel bad for me. I just wanna fall in tears right now… but I don’t.

Days, weeks are passing by, Connor is almost always eating with me, but I don’t talk, I just listen to him quietly. The sorrow of my memories is strong but bit by bit Connor is getting more and more reactions from me, some smiles and even laughter some times, he is slowly piercing my shield trying to befriend me with only goodwill. Until one day he finally succeeds to shatter my shell in pieces, but I decide to use my stupid defending mechanism by telling him how I really am in a last attempt to let him back off if he doesn’t like the real me. I’ve got to know him a bit, I bet that’s not gonna make him back off at all. Trying to get him back off ? Am I not just fooling myself… I’m just opening up my heart. I need someone to keep me up or I might break apart… again…