r/community

u/jazcarter

I am so stupid

I constantly trust people I just meet. I make a big deal of things and get excited and that just causes me to be upset in the end. I subconsciously see the good in people and they always end up hurting me. It’s not even their fault, but mine for even putting my trust in someone. I thought she liked me and stuff and was flirting with me. She probably wasn’t and I just read into it. I tend to be attracted to people who aren’t attracted to me or want to be with me. It’s so easy to see the mistakes from the outside looking in, but when you’re on the inside looking out, it’s so hard to see everything. If that makes sense. I just wish I wasn’t so quick to want someone, I don’t know.

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After Rose told Jazmine that she was straight, she just sat there. She didn’t want to look shocked because Rose never said she wanted to be with Jazmine in the first place. She never said she was flirting with her, she was probably being friendly. Jazmine didn’t understand the whole calling her cute thing, but it was probably nothing. She sat there beating herself up because she thought what they shared between them was something, but it wasn’t.

Jazmine didn’t have anything to say about the situation, but it didn’t really matter because she had to get ready for her shift at the library.

“Um, my shift is about to start, so I’m going to go,” Jazmine said while getting up and pointing at the front desk.

While she was walking away, Rose grabbed her hand and placed a little paper inside, “Here’s my number, call me if you want to talk about anything.”

Jazmine nodded and went off to work. She decided to put the books away instead of dealing with customers. No offense to the customers, but she just didn’t think she was able to her disappointment and sadness. Plus, part of the job description is to smile and greet the costumers happily, and she didn’t know if she was up for it.

When she finished her shift, she went to her dorm and went straight to sleep.

Jazmine couldn’t stop thinking about what Rose told her. There were so many things she wanted to ask her, but she knew that it wasn’t her business.

She didn’t have class until 12 pm on Tuesdays, so she texted her, “Hey Rose, this is Jazmine.”

“Hey, so I understand you probably have questions about this whole thing. You’re probably confused and all that jazz, so you can call me and ask me anything, I won’t mind or get offended.” She replied, almost as soon as Jazmine sent her first message.

Jazmin doesn’t really like calling people she is not comfortable with. Especially when he doesn’t know what to say or talk about. That's was the same with this situation, she didn't know what to ask Rose, but she called anyway.

“Hi, Rose?” Jazmine said when Rose picked up.

“Yeah, hi.” Her voice low and scratch like she just woke up. That or she was sick, or like she was screaming all night.

“At the end of the day, you don’t owe me an explanation. I just thought you were flirting with me, but you were probably being nice. It was just me who was thinking things were something when they weren’t. You didn’t say that you were or that you even liked me, so we’re cool.” Jazmine managed to say.

“I was flirting with you, and I am interested in you. I’m interested in getting to know you and for some reason, I can’t get you off of my mind.” Rose responded. “I don’t know why but I haven’t felt this way about anyone else.”

“Oh.” Was all Jazmine could say, she suddenly felt really dumb.

“Yes, so do you still want to go on that date?” Rose asked nervously.

Jazmine didn’t really feel like she had the right to question someone’s sexuality or how they feel. She also really wanted to go on that date with Rose. She was okay with her being straight as long as she was true with how she felt.

With that in mind, Jazmine said, “We could go on that date, but you’re paying.”

Rose laughed and responded with, “Cool. I’ll text you the details.”

They said their byes and Jazmine hung up.

After their classes, Jazmine told Rayvn about everything.

“How can she be straight and like you at the same time?” Rayvn asked.

“She never said she liked me, she said she was interested. I don’t know what that means.” Jazmine said.

“That probably means she just wants to know what pussy’s like. Interested in experiencing being with another girl and not actually commit. Or she’s in the closet.” Rayvn did something.

“We can’t just assume that stuff, even if some of that may be true. I just have to wait and see if that’s what she wants. If she is in the closet, then it’s not my place to bring it up. That just means she’s not ready to be out.” Jazmine explained.

Rayven called her “nice” which resulted in an eye-roll from Jazmine.

A few minutes later she got a text from Rose that said, “How do you feel about Saturday around 12 pm for lunch? I know you have work, so does that fit in with your schedule?”