Carrying him like that, as if he were a mere sack of potatoes, the monster took him down the corridor and then turn right. Suddenly the white bright light of the day was poured over him, forcing him to blink, his eyes tearing-up immediately. Blinking, he realized they were outside, the stones of the path right beneath his head sprinkled with small patches of grass. Outside!, he repeated to himself and his heart raced. Which meant that they’d crossed the door that he’d been searching for these past two days.

His vision blurring, he blinked furiously wanting to see more. He could feel the warmth of the sun on his back and behind. And the gentle wind that brushed his blushed face smelled sweet and fresh. Trying to raise his head he blinked again and saw a small patch of something red slowly dancing in the breeze. Flowers …?

The sound of surprised whispers and of people walking around told him that there were other men nearby, and he unconsciously held tighter to that moving mountain of darkness. A dark shadow covered him for a moment and then they were under the sun again and climbing something. The ground that he could see also changed and now was mainly brown dirt and small, lost pebbles.

Snow didn’t know how long he was carried like that. Only that, by the time the monster finally stopped, even though he felt excited to finally be outside, he also felt dizzy and queasy, from being upside down for so long, his stomach pressed against his back. Blinking blindly, his legs shook when he was finally put down, and he wiped his eyes and face on the sleeve of his tunic.

“Why the fuck are you crying?”

He wasn’t, he shook his head, even though more tears quickly filled his eyes. It was only that now that the mass of darkness had released him and stepped away from him the light of the sun felt even brighter. The monster tesked impatiently and, grabbing him by his tunic, pulled him closer. A familiar clicking sound filled his ears and then the metallic collar around his neck was gone. Fear immediately filled Snow’s heart and he immediately shook his head, trying to step back, even though he had no illusions that the monster would let him go.

“What you did back then, do it again!” the heavy voice commanded and he bit down his lower lip and shook his head even more vehemently. “I need to know how you do it! That red array! Do it again!”

Blinking tears away, Snow covered his ears and kept shaking his head. His chest was hurting again, making it hard to breathe, especially with his mouth shut, but there was no way he was going to open it. It was as if something inside him was about to break because he refused to comply with the monster’s order, and yet he knew he’d rather die than be the cause of more senseless death.

“Damn brat! Don’t test my patience! Look around you! There’s no one here but you and I! So just go on and try to kill me! Don’t you want to be free? Don’t you want to run away?? Kill me!” the monster shouted, the darkness expanding threateningly, a cold, dark wind whipping his face. But that order only made Snow bite his lip even harder, his mouth tasting of blood.

Yes, he wanted to be free! Yes, he wanted to run away from all of them! Yes, he wanted to kill him! He wanted to, but the thought alone was enough to make him gasp in pain. His swollen, bloody lips quivering he tried to shut them again, but now he couldn’t do it anymore, desperately gasping for air. He felt as if he was going to die, and he wished he would die quickly and be done with it.

“Do you need me to hurt you? Do you need me to make you scream like they did? Is that it?” the cruel voice asked and Snow raised his head to look up at him, to look up at those hateful blue eyes that seemed to glow amongst all that darkness. Raising a shaky hand he tried to grab it, grab something, find something real, something solid, something human inside all that blackness.

“Stop …” he barely whispered between forceful breaths of air and pressed his hand against the monster.

A blast of cold wind almost scooped him from his feet, and then everything went deadly silent and still.

Blinking his tears away, Snow saw the blue eyes widen in a mix of horror and surprise, and then he could actually see him! Not a mass of wavering darkness but an actual man!

Even though he was clearly a few years older than him, he looked surprisingly young, his pale skin contrasting heavily with the black eyebrows that arched over his big blue eyes. He also had black hair, long and silky, tied in a single ponytail at the top of his head, the dark locks of hair that had been blown by the wind still floating midair. His lips were thin and a soft pink shade, and he was much taller than him. Overall he could have been handsome, even beautiful, if not for the cold hatred filling that bright-blue gaze. But he clearly wasn’t some dark, immaterial monster either. And Snow couldn’t help wonder what the others saw when they looked at him. Was he the only one who could see his monstrous appearance? Or did they all see it?

Recovering from his clear shock, the hand still grabbing him threw him back, hard, making Snow fall on the ground with a loud thud. His bottom hurt and so did his back, and the moment he stopped touching him it was as if the world had started to move again, darkness even heavier than before gathering around the monster, covering him like a heavy mantle and hiding him from his sight.

“If you ever do that again! I will tie a boulder to your feet and throw you into the deepest sea!” he roared and Snow couldn’t help cringe, pressing his lips together again, afraid he might scream in fear. The darkness that surrounded him felt cold and deadly, as if it could smother him to death at any moment. Somehow, he didn’t know how or why, he had made the monster furious. “Do you understand me?” Snow nodded, quickly, wishing he could drag his trembling body back, away from him, but unable to move. “Stop nodding and shaking your head like a mindless doll! Speak!”

“Yes!” he immediately replied, louder than he wanted to, but unable to resist his command.

“If you think that I’m afraid of what might happen to me if I kill you, you couldn’t be more wrong! So mark my words! Pull a stunt like that again and may the Gods help me, I will pull your heart out and feed it to the dogs!”

Snow cringed and hugged his knees, turning his body into a small, quivering ball. The word dogs only made him even more scared and he didn’t dare move a single hair. Blinking his tears away, he did his best to stifle his sobs, pressing his bloody mouth against the soft fabric of his pants.

Raking a trembling hand through his hair, Nox ZaiWin looked at trembling human ball at his feet. He was scared to death, he realized, frowning annoyed. That damn brat! He hadn’t felt this shaken, this furious, in a long, long time. And the sensation that still lingered after all his daitai had been suppressed sent a shiver down his spine and made him even angrier. He had to find a way to kill that damn brat as soon as possible, he decided. As if it wasn’t enough that his mere existence had drawn a bright-red target on his back, the freak also had the ability to render him totally and completely defenseless with one touch! And he’d rather die one-thousand deaths than to be that defenseless ever again!

“Shit!” he spat, his daitai still burning, responding to his fury. The mere thought of it brought bloody images back to his mind. His mother lying on a pool of her own blood, her long black hair spread over the white stone floor, her snowy gown quickly turning red, her blue eyes slowly losing their glow. And the cold, indifferent expression of the golden-haired woman standing at her side, looking down at his mother’s body with hard, golden eyes; holding in her elegant, pale hand the dagger with which she had just stabbed her right in front of his eyes.

Covering his eyes with one hand, as if that could spare him having to see those images again, ZaiWin took a deep breath and tried to calm down. His daitai were wild and aggressive enough as they were. Losing his temper would only make him lose control over them. Another thing he’d rather die than allow to happen again.

Another deep breath and he could finally release the tension that had filled his entire body.

Lowering his gaze, he looked at the boy. If he had had any doubts now there were none left. And yes, he understood what ZenTar had told him, that the boy could hardly be blamed, that he probably didn’t know any better, that he was innocent. But, even so, he couldn’t be allowed to live. And not only for his sake. It wasn’t as if he felt particularly attached to his present life. But there were many, many other lives depending of him, lives that would be certainly lost if that boy were allowed to live, lives that he had sworn to protect. He’d try and do things ZenTar’s way. Try and find a way to kill him without risking his own life. But, if that didn’t work, then so be it. They would die together and be done with it. Whatever the case the damn brat had to die and the soon the better.

“Brat! Get up! Let’s go back,” he ordered and the boy jumped, startled, but still did his best to obey him. He had really scared the poor bastard, he thought, seeing as his scrawny legs shook, his shoulders trembling. Well, the damn brat had also scared him, so they were kind of even. And then he noticed his bare feet. “Stupid brat! Why do you walk around with no shoes on? I’m certain ZenTar provided something adequate for you.”

Snow blinked his tears away and wiped his face and eyes on his sleeve again. The bright light still stung his eyes but not all his tears were because of that.

“Are you deaf?”

He shook his head and cringed, as if expecting to be smacked, before he answered.

“No …”

“What about the shoes?”

“Too big …” he whispered back, not daring to speak louder than that.

“Why didn’t you say so before? Do you want to throw the healer’s job out of the window?” Snow quickly shook his head. “Speak, you damn brat! I swear! I’ll hit you every time you nod or shake your head!” he growled and Snow took a step back.

“No,” he quickly replied, his toes burying nervously into the dirt beneath his feet. The monster sighed impatiently.

“How old are you, brat?” he asked, changing the subject, and Snow was about to shake his head when he stopped himself, his neck going rigid.

“Don’t know …”

“Do you know how long you were kept in Weiin? Were you born there?”

“No,” he replied.

From all the memories that remained lost amongst the hazy, white mist, Sand’s gentle face was something Snow would never forget, that he’d never allow himself to forget. Only her memory had granted him some measure of comfort within his agony.

“Do you know where you were born?”

“No,” he replied again and the darkness that surrounded the monster became more agitated. He was getting angry again, he knew, and so he quickly searched for something that might temper his anger. “It was a house … big house. A big room, too,” he whispered trying to put together bits and pieces of memories. “There was a garden with water. A warm fire. It was really warm …” Especially when compared to the deep, biting cold that had came afterwords, he thought peering fearfully at the monster, hoping his answer had been enough to appease him. Within his memories the sound of screams echoed in his head and the smell of blood filled his mouth and nose, but that he didn’t tell him.