Kissing Liam was confusing, amazing, but absolutely confusing.

Was he my rebound? Was I his? Who was I even rebounding from? Did kissing mean we were dating? Did I want to date Liam? What was he feeling about kissing me? What would the others think? What would Kyle think about it all?

Fuck Kyle.

If Kissing Liam somehow caused Kyle some amount of pain wherever he was now then I never wanted to stop. Kyle probably wouldn’t have cared though, he obviously hadn’t cared enough about any of us before so it was doubtful he would start now.

When the final bell for the day rang out I pulled back from the kiss hoping to find the answer for all of the questions running through my head on Liam’s face, or in his eyes. He looked happy, which didn’t really answer anything but it did make my heart swell with pride when I thought about being the cause of it.

Looking into his eyes no longer felt like I was drowning and now it just felt like I was floating on the waves of his happiness and before long I was smiling back at him, our bodies still pressed together.

I wanted to say something, tell him how I was feeling maybe. Talk about anything in the world even discuss Kyle more if he still needed that. All of the words I wanted to say continued to get lost somewhere between my brain and mouth though.

When the noise in the hallway began to die down Liam moved forward, placing a quick kiss on the tip of my nose before rolling off of the bed. He walked out of the nurse's office without saying anything more leaving me behind wondering what that might have meant.

My void had been like I was slowly letting myself freeze to death, each day that passed I fell a little more asleep and nothing had mattered. Now I felt like electricity was surging through my veins jolting my entire being awake. Without Liam there beside me the power was draining some and I could feel the void beckoning me back into its peaceful depths.

The thought of falling back into it and allowing myself to be swallowed whole was tempting but feeling the electricity was intoxicating.

I took a deep breath before jumping out of the bed, collecting my things and heading towards the door. As I passed by the nurse's desk she reached a hand out stopping me before I could leave.

“You look much better Ryan,” she said surprising me that she even knew me by name.

After giving her a smile and nod the nurse released me allowing me to find my way through the almost empty hallways. It didn’t take me more than a few minutes to get everything I needed from my locker and arrive at the front door where I was greeted by torrents of rain.

One major downside of having been on vacation inside my own personal void recently was the fact that it didn’t come with the weather channel which left me woefully underprepared. I scanned the parking lot hoping that Liam might still be somewhere in the school but didn’t see his car. Texting him briefly crossed my mind though the thought of asking him for a favor so soon after whatever that had been in the nurse’s office seemed wrong.

When I thought about waiting for it to stop mother nature decided to squash that dream as well by making it rain even harder. Scrolling through my phone didn’t provide any easy answers either since everyone in my contacts was either not talking to me or I was avoiding them.

“Wow, it is coming down hard,” a girl’s voice said from my left sending me jumping back in shock. Seeing who was talking to me only made me wish I was walking home in the rain already.

Sam had thankfully given up on trying to talk soon after the massive fallout we had when I had accused her of outing me to the entire school the previous year. Even after I had found out who really had been responsible it never felt like the right time to try and fix things. Seeing her always made me feel overly guilty so pre void me just avoided her as much as possible, which was difficult since we had six of our nine classes together.

“Still not talking?” she asked after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

I knew now that I wanted to talk, not just to Liam but to everyone in my life. So many things had been left unsaid for so long even before I stopped talking. My mouth just didn’t want to cooperate with my new desire so I was forced to respond to her with a shrug.

“Do you want a ride home?”

Another shrug.

“Well come on, we will have to run to the car,” Sam said before pressing the door open and darting out into the rain. Without the barrier between me and the rain, the storm was even louder then I thought possible. Taking a deep breath I bolted forward after her.

My brain started trying to figure out Sam’s motives as I ran, questioning if she was trying to give me a second chance and even if I was worth that. Growling in annoyance at the train of thought I tried focusing on the feeling of the cold water hitting my skin and let it wash away all of the negative thoughts.

The sound of my shoes hitting the wet sidewalk was barely audible over the rain falling all around me. It was so powerful that it crowded out everything else so that I didn’t realize Sam was laughing until I caught up to her in the parking lot.

She was completely soaked through by that time, strands of brown hair stuck to her face as she fumbled with the car keys. By the time Sam finally managed to get the doors unlocked I was just as wet. Once safely inside we sat there together dripping onto the car seats as we watched the rain through the windshield.

A minute later Sam busied herself trying to connect her phone to the car stereo.

“I have missed you Ry,” she said as she continued fiddling with the menus on both the radio and her phone. “There have been a lot of movies we missed, new music has come out, three Chinese places that have opened up that we have yet to try” she continued, the music finally coming through the speakers and of course it was the soundtrack to a broadway musical.

With the music figured out, Sam turned the car on before hitting the gas pedal with a bit too much enthusiasm. She somehow managed to roll through two stop signs and almost rear-end a car before even getting out of the parking lot reminding me exactly why I used to prefer walking home.

“Let’s just get this all out of the way now. You were an ass, I forgive you for being an ass, I beat Melissa’s stupid ass for you already.” she began ticking things off her fingers as she went. “I do look amazing today, no you cannot date either of my brothers and no I will not be your beard but I will contemplate being a surrogate if you decide you want to have gay babies” she continued each thing getting a bit more out there.

Turning away from watching the rain I saw that she was smiling while she talked. Sam was more talkative then I had ever been so it made sense that she would enjoy having a silent captive audience. The light playful nature of the one-sided conversation gave me hope that maybe things with us would be okay, that hope only lasted until she spoke again.

“Cameron told me you guys broke up”

Hearing her say that while also being able to watch her face go from happy to serious made me want to jump out of the car. With everything going on in the last few hours I had somehow completely forgotten about the breakup and instead got into the car with Cameron’s best friend who had also been the one to set us up.

“Well, he didn’t so much tell me as blow my phone up about it. Was just minding my own business and taking a little nap after school and BAM,'' Sam said hitting her hand onto the steering wheel at the last word. “Hundred and twenty-seven messages in less than an hour! It was a mess as well, he went from wanting you back to hating you and then was convinced you were cheating on him in the first seventeen messages and it just got worse from there. I didn’t even bother reading them all”

The news of Cameron suspecting me of cheating hit a little closer to home then I was comfortable with even if he was mostly incorrect. Hearing about the results of my actions without the added layer of my void made every word cut into me but I deserved it.

“I’m sorry for introducing you to that ass hat,” she finished smirking at me while rolling through another stop sign.

It was probably a good thing that I was already sitting down as she said that since a stiff breeze probably could have knocked me over at that point. From the minute I told Sam that I was thinking that there might be a slight chance that I liked guys she had been hyping Cameron up. This had continued for months until I finally relented and let her set the date up at which point she began coming up with couple names and talking about what our babies would look like.

Hearing her call him an ass hat now seemed the best wrong thing to happen. My worries about her being angry at me for breaking her best friend's heart and ending ‘Ryeron’ evaporated then leaving space for hope to blossom once more.

Sam’s expression fell back into seriousness once more when she pulled up in front of my place but before I could escape the car to avoid any more bad news she began talking again.

“I know you have been having a hard time Ry but I’m here for you if you need anything just let me know”

I gave her a small smile putting my hand on her arm and squeezing gently earning myself a smile in return. There was so much I wanted to tell her, so much had happened since our fight that I could have sat there in the car all night just filling her in on everything. Maybe it would help to talk to Sam, like how Liam had seemed to need to talk about Kyle earlier.

All of it was going to have to wait though since I just was still not able to find the words. Being there with her again after so long was enough for the time being and everything else would come later.