Scars and stories

Aerin had – thank god – left my chambers soon after my “breakdown of embarrassment”. I sighed and leaned my head against my door. I was nine when I had a crush on him and I was now seventeen yet somehow still acting like that? Wow, you never forgot your first crush, huh? I shook my head at myself and began undressing. I swiftly threw my clothes aside and entered my bathroom in all my naked glory. The water took some time to warm up, which would've gone faster with magic, but there was a catch: I had no magic. Yet. Excluding the ability of gracefully blushing by the slightest touch of Aerin, of course. The fact that my magic powers still hadn't developed was a bit concerning, but I wasn't worrying as much as I should be. It wasn't a huge problem now, but I knew it would be one soon. If they don't show up, caused by some miracle, before my official introduction to the public, people within and outside of the palace would doubt my capability and all that judgmental stuff they would be saying. The oh-so-noble and “extraordinary” high society of noblemen and -women would be against possibly being ruled over by a magicless brat like me. I could already hear the council and the entire court telling my father not to choose me as his successor. What great world we lived in. Those people were just pure hypocrites: Even the first empress hadn't been born with magic. Duh.

I sighed in satisfaction when I was inside the water-filled bathtub. My muscles started relaxing as I washed my body, my fingers carefully touched the marks these seven years had left on me: Scars. Each of them told a story. Stories that were dominated by the bloodshed of the innocent. Death, skin rotten by the deadly disease of the south, bodies of those who were starving and the ones whose lives had been taken for some stupid territory expansion. Thieves, rapists, murderers. Bastards. I had seen them all. The memories of them still visited me at night; partly the reason why I was barely sleeping. But that particular man — that monster — was still the worst of them all and I was sure his swords must have been tainted with the blood of the innocent. I didn't even want to know how many souls he had stolen with that blade. It was disgusting, just utterly disgusting. That man shall perish in the blue flames of hell.

Shaking my head, I forced myself not to think about these things anymore. One thing was certain though: I would never in my life tell my family the stories these scars were sealing off deep inside. These were my scars, but not my stories. And only those whose eyes were still closed needed to hear them. My siblings had seen all that before me. Maybe not the way I did, but they knew what pain so many of our people had to go through.

Thirty minutes later I was sitting on my bed again, glancing at the table with food placed on it.

Seems like my presence wasn’t a secret anymore, huh.

I pouted, a little upset that none of my family members had come into my room yet to greet me. Those idiots were too busy to bother with that. Standing up, I went to the table and checked today's dinner. To be honest, I wasn't hungry. My appetite had vanished, but I knew the servants had specifically prepared this for me, so I forced myself to eat at least a little bit.

I sat down on the ground instead of the chair, that's when I caught a glimpse of something that must have been brought here together with the food. A handwritten letter from my father. Confused yet curious, I took it into my hands and opened it with a swift flick of my wrist.

A-*Zian,

the fact that I'm sending you this letter instead of talking to you in person must be proof enough of what an incapable father I am. I deeply apologize for that, my son. This shall not be an excuse to neglect my duties as a parent, but I am too busy to see you today. Nonetheless am I happy to hear that you have returned in one piece.

Meilani informed me of your arrival a few days ago, don't be upset that she broke your little deal.

Let's have breakfast together. Your brothers Jin and Shin will be there too, the others sadly are not in the Capital at the moment, but they will contact you soon. Meet us in the garden on the west side, please.

I am looking forward to seeing what kind of person you have become.

With love,

Your Father.

*Adding “A-” before a person's name shows an intimate relationship and affection; usually used by family members, lovers or very closed friends