I knew I had better tell Skylar the truth before she found out from someone else. Knowing Skylar she probably wouldn't even believe the rumor, she would still see the best in me and think it was all made up. That's one of the things I love most about her. She tries so hard to see the good in people, even when those people were secret monsters the whole time.

I wonder if she will hate me...

The next day at school I had prepared myself. I took strong steady breaths and made sure not to psych myself out. I could do this, I owed her that much. Didn't I?

"Hey." Aphrodite walked up behind me as I walked into school.

I flinched at the sound of her voice.

"Oh, hey." I forced a smile.

That's the thing with the two of us, no matter how much we argue or fight, give it a day and it's like it never happened. We just keep being friends and ignore what was said before. It's a relief in a way, but it also means hardly any of our problems get dealt with. We just ignore them and move on until it's not a problem anymore.

I could cuss her out and damn her to hell and the next day she would still walk up to me and say hey as if nothing had ever happened. We've been like this since we were kids. Mostly because Aphrodite can be pretty mean sometimes but I always knew she didn't mean it. She lashes out at people as a way to hide her own insecurities. I myself have a temper, but I've gotten a lot better at managing it ever since I got with Skylar.

"So I don't really know anyone here, mind if I just sit with you and your friends?" she asked.

"Sure." I shrugged.

My stomach turned as I saw Skylar and Jade walk in hand in hand.

"What?" Aphrodite must have seen something on my face.

"I am going to tell her," I said.

She followed my line of sight and raised an eyebrow.

"And why the hell would you do that now? Of all times?" she asked.

"Sam overheard us yesterday, I'd rather her hear it from me than someone else."

She sighed.

We sat at the table.

"Hey everyone, this is Aphrodite, you've all met before," I said.

"Oh yeah, at Jade's party," Archer said.

"Yep, now I go here, mind if I make myself at home?" she smiled sweetly at them.

"Go ahead girl, I always say can't have too many friends," Parece said.

"Ditto," Demarcus said.

I smiled at them.

I watched as Jade and Skylar walked into the cafeteria. They had on matching outfits, I wanted to gag at the sight. Talk about over the top. They didn't walk our way, instead Jade dragged Skylar back over to the table with Cassidy and her posy, which included Sam.

Panic flooded my veins and I locked eyes with Sam. She smirked at me, then winked just as Skylar sat right in front of her.

"Don't you think Darleen?" Wini said.

"Huh?" I turned to her at the sound of my name.

"Were you even listening?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure." I glanced back over to Skylar.

Just then Sam leaned over the table and began to whisper something into Skylar's ear.

"Earth to Darleen?" Wini snapped her fingers at me.

I ignored her and quickly got out of my seat before sprinting across the cafeteria over to Skylar. Jade had just pulled Skylar away from Sam, who was snickering. Jade glared at her. Skylar gave Sam a confused look.

"Hello, my darling Darleen, what brings you to our table?" Cassidy smirked at me.

She put her elbows on the table and rested her head on her hands, batting her lashes at me.

Both Skylar and Jade turned around to look at me.

Terry and Sam began to snicker, I could tell Sam already informed her friends about my dirty secret.

Jade glared at me and pulled Skylar closer to her.

"I uh... I." I couldn't think of an excuse.

"Well?" Cassidy cocked her head to the side.

"I um just needed to talk to Skylar about something," I said.

My stomach turned.

"About what?" Jade snapped at me.

Skylar looked at me quizzically, which meant she had no clue what this was about, meaning Sam didn't tell her. I sighed in relief.

"Uh, just something," I said.

"Go on and say it, I am sure whatever it is you can say it to all of us." Cassidy antagonized.

Yeesh, she is like a worse, eviler version of Jade. I shuddered at the thought.

"Actually, it's kind of private." I looked at Skylar.

She glanced worriedly to Jade, who was glaring daggers at me and clinging tightly to Skylar's arm.

"What kind of private, like showing your privates private?" Terry asked.

"What?!" I got defensive.

"What a reaction, look how red her face is getting." Sam pointed out.

"Maybe they will hook up under the stairway." Cassidy teased.

I saw Skylar get red and I knew she was thinking about it, which made me turn redder.

"The hell they will." Jade snapped.

All three girls snickered.

"What is it Darleen? Can't it wait until later?" Skylar finally spoke up.

"Yeah, can't it wait until later Darleen?" Sam teased.

I glared at her.

"Maybe they will hook up in the showers again." Cassidy egged on.

Jade was ready to snap.

"We aren't even together anymore." I snapped at Cassidy.

"But you have to admit the idea has crossed your mind." Terry bit her lip.

They were definitely ganging up on me. I felt like I was in the lion's den and I was the meal and they were the lions. They had all the power and leverage, and I was helpless. Not that I would let them know they were getting to me, I have to stay strong and hold face. A Grayson never backs down.

"Do you get off on it? Doing it in public I mean," Cassidy laughed.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Do you get off on it? inserting yourself into people's business I mean," I inserted myself between Skylar and Jade and slammed my hands down on the table, leaning over just slightly to show I wasn't afraid of them.

"Actually I do, I like watching people squirm." Cassidy leaned forward in her seat to match me.

Our eyes were locked in a battle, I swear I could see actual sparks flying.

"Okay! Enough, either tell us what you want or get lost." Jade grabbed me by my waist and yanked me back.

I stumbled back and nearly fell.

Terry laughed.

"Maybe Darleen has a confession to make," Sam said.

"Like a love confession?" Terry snorted out in laughter.

"Or maybe even worse," Cassidy added.

I glanced at Skylar and she quickly looked away from me, I can tell I was making this even more awkward for her. She was slowly shrinking into her seat.

"Darleen and Skylar are over, so stop bringing it up." Jade snapped at them.

"Are they though?" Cassidy asked.

"We are!" Skylar quickly spoke up.

"Maybe for you, but does Darleen here feel the same?" Cassidy asked.

Jade looked at me and crossed her arms.

"Look I just came here to talk to Skylar, please put away your broomsticks witches." I rolled my eyes.

"Rawr, she really is a beast," Terry growled teasingly and shook her head a bit, her blond locks flying around her face.

"And you three are so cliché, Skylar, if you please?" I looked at her.

Skylar looked to Jade and Jade rolled her eyes before letting go of Skylar's arm. Skylar smiled at her, which caused Jade to blush. Then she kissed Jade on the cheek before getting up. I had to look away to hide the pain I felt in my heart.

Sam snorted in amusement.

I didn't give her a reaction. Skylar walked beside me as we walked out of the cafeteria, I shoved my hands in my pockets.

"So what's up?" she asked.

I shrugged.

She eyed me.

We kept walking until we were under the stairs.

"Well I know you didn't cause that big scene for nothing," Skylar leaned against the wall.

Despite all my prep work, no way those words were coming out of my mouth. How could they? I was going to ruin her whole day, no I couldn't do it. I wouldn't.

"Hey it's okay, you can talk to me," she assured me.

Why does she have to be so sweet?

She's too kind for her own good. It will get her really hurt one day.

"Skylar..." I started but quickly trailed off.

"Darleen." She mocked me and then giggled when she saw me look at her in annoyance.

Her laugh makes me smile.

"Come on just say it, it's okay. Is it embarrassing? because you know I am the queen of embarrassment." She sighed.

"Yeah, you are," I chuckled.

"Hey, you jerk." She poked me in the side, I giggled.

"I just... nothing, never mind." I shook my head.

"Darleen, Jade is going to want answers. Not that I complaining, to be honest, I'm glad you rescued me from those three. They are a hard pill to swallow that's for sure."

"Yeah... rescued..."

"Wait... this isn't a love confession, is it? I mean we've been there and done that. Please say no."

My heart hurts when she says this. I have to look at the ground to avoid her gaze.

"Of course not, just friends, I got the message loud and clear," I say bitterly.

She sighs in relief.

"Skylar... you know I love you right?" I look at her.

"You said it wasn't a love confession." She points out.

"Just, I want you to know I still care about you. A lot. I would never... I mean... the last thing I want to do is hurt you. you know that right?"

"Of course, we are friends now. Good close friends. I would never want to hurt you either. I still care about you too. Why is everything okay?" she moved to me in concern.

"I just... wanted you to know that. I love you, maybe as more than a friend and I know you are with Jade, but I still care about you. I've always cared about you."

"Where is this coming from, are things okay? Did something happen?" she grabs my hands in her own.

"I just want you to know that. Because... I've done things I'm not proud of and I know you try to see the best in people, the best in me, but lately... ever since we broke up I guess I've just been struggling to try and find the best in myself. I don't feel like someone you could be proud of and happy to call your friend. I fell like... like trash." My eyes watered and I swallowed down my tears.

"Don't say that! You aren't trash, never! You are so perfect and amazing and sweet and caring. I could go on forever. Darleen Grayson is anything but trash. I never, not once, ever thought that about you." she squeezed my hands.

"Maybe I'm not perfect!" I snap at her.

She flinches but doesn't let go.

"Maybe I never was... maybe I did things that would make you think otherwise of me. You are the only person I felt like I belonged with. I messed it up. I know you are happy, and I'm happy for you, I am, I just... I guess I still need help picking up the pieces of what we had. You are too nice for your own good. You shouldn't just blindly trust people, especially not people like me." I pulled away from her.

"Darleen,"

"No Skylar. Just no. I'm not perfect, nor was I ever. I feel like someone who isn't worth much. I feel low and dirty and messed up. There is something I need to tell you but I can't even get the words out, I can't even think them in my head without feeling sick."

"What is it? You can tell me, it's okay. I won't get mad or whatever it is you think I will react like."

I look into her blue eyes, those wonderful blue eyes. That kind enduring look on her face. The way her brows scrunch up in concern. What I would do to kiss her right now.

"I can't say it." I sob.

She engulfs me into a hug.

"Shh, it's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay. I forgive you." she says.

Having her hold me again is too much. I break inside. I cling tightly to her and cry, burying my head into her shoulder. She is as strong and sturdy as I remember.

"Shh, I got you, it's okay. Don't cry Darleen." She rubs my back.

Her voice is shaky and I can tell she is on the verge of tears herself.

The bell rings and we both flinch.

I pull away and she wipes my tears.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess," I whisper.

"I think that was my line." She teased.

I laughed a little.

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready. Just know that whatever it is, you can talk to me about it. It's okay."

"But it's not okay," I say.

"It is to me," she assured me.

"Everything you do... Everything you do Skylar." I said.

She smiled sheepishly.

She knew what I was referring to. I was referring to the fact that everything she does makes me fall deeper in love with her. If anyone was ever perfect it's her, not me. I would give anything to be with her again.

"Come on, before Gumpaste has us in detention." She grabbed my hand.

I laughed and wiped any stray tears as people eyed us as we walked down the hall.

"Thanks for giving me a chance to say it, even if I couldn't get the words out," I say to Skylar as we sit in class.

"Being a good friend means listening to your problems no matter what, you taught me that." She smiles at me.

"Yeah, I guess I did." I chuckle lightly.

"Even if I won't like what you have to say, you should know that you can say it anyways. That's what friends are for." She assures me.

If only she knew.

"I'll keep that in mind for the next time I try and tell you."

"Good, now you better not tease me in class today, it's bad enough I have Jade in third, I can't be failing two classes now." She looked forward.

"I make no promises." I tease.

"Ugh, you beast." She pouts.

I laugh.

I think I might always be in love with Skylar Clifton, and I don't know if that makes me happy or sad.

Maybe both.