Kiss Me

Part Seven

Henley

"Psst…Henley, sour puss. What's eaten you?" Matt whispered.

I chuckled in response, only because the cutest creature ate me up. "Nothing, why?" I'm not telling Matt my shit, he'd think I'm completely barmy.

"Liar liar pants on fire. You've been chewing your face off most of your shift."

"It's nothing you need to worry about."

"What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't bug the shit out of you. It's what best mates are for and coming to your home and stealing your food too."

"Oh yeah, you need to stop stealing my food or I'll have to start charging you."

"Well how about I cook?"

I grimaced. I'm not that fond of Matt's cooking, his boyfriend cooks better than him and he's an asshole. "No, thanks."

"Oh come on, it's been ages ...please." He begged. I can't say no to his face.

"Fine." I grumble.

"Great. Can you buy the ingredients?"

"You know what, let's just get a takeaway. It might be safer that way."

"Hey, I can cook...bacon and eggs."

I laugh, jesus he's just too hilarious. "A kid can cook bacon and eggs, so stop flattering yourself you douche."

"Fine, whatever," he paused briefly. I could see the cogs turning in that brain of his. Ready to strike as they say. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing."

"How long have we been friends?"

"Too long and if you carry on I will unfriend you on Facebook."

He chuckled. "Now that's taking it too far."

"Will Adam be coming for takeaway?"

"No, we broke up." He blurted.

"Wait, what?" How the fuck didn't I know this shit? We've been best friends for nearly fourteen years. How did he keep that from me?

"Yeah," he mumbled and ran his hand through his thick brown hair. "A few weeks ago."

"Why? Why didn't you come to me?"

"Well, you were going through your shit with Sara and the circumstances were the same. He was dipping his dick in another ass. I thought it would make you uncomfortable."

"Don't be stupid."

"I guess I am, I was gonna propose too."

"Jesus age christ. Are you okay?"

"I'm getting there. I hate him now, that's something huh." He grins.

I felt awful for not noticing his pain. A few weeks. "I'm sorry, I should have seen it…"

"Seen what?" He said cutting me off.

"I...well…" Oh god, the tears were filling his brown eyes and all I wanted to do at that moment was hug him. My best friend is hurting and all I've done for the last few weeks is mope about in my own little protective bubble. "Come to mine after your shift, lets talk."

"There's nothing to talk about. It's over, end of. What I want to know is what's going on with you."

"Fine, you tell me everything and I will tell you everything, we got a deal?"

"Hurray! Oh, hang on ...what was that?" Eyes widening, he cupped his hand to his ear. "I think I can hear a celebratory margarita calling your name."

"I rarely drink idiot."

"Yeah, but we are celebrating our independence from asshole partners, it's a must you know."

"Fine, deal."

"About time, now get back to work." Okay, so I feel like the shittiest friend in the world, needless to say I know exactly how he feels. To be betrayed, that's why I'm shocked he didn't tell me. But I guess he was thinking of me at the time.

And now seven weeks after my breakup, I’m beginning to emerge from the other side. The pain is no longer a physical thing, but that’s not to say I’m over the experience. But I am over her. Betrayal. It’s the worst of words. And no fiancé is better than one who lies to you when she says she’s going straight from work to the gym because she wants to look good for your honeymoon. But I force myself to count my blessings every day, and I believe a person should be aware of both their faults and their assets, and at the top of my list of failings has been to follow my heart. Which by the way I want to do where Aya is concerned. Maybe if me and Matt have our long talk we can help each other through the pain. I want to help him anyway I can.

Deceitful. Another word that should be banished from the English language.

As the typical sounds of the restaurant begin to return to my ears, I lower my head and get on with things. I guess the customers keep me on my toes every day. When they smile, it makes me smile. I feel their happiness and it kind of puts a spring back in my step, yet now, looking over my shoulder at Matt, I can finally see all of his pain. All the hurt he's been carrying around. I want to take some of that away from him.

A memory comes into sharp focus. I’m sitting in the window seat blowing smoke rings out of the open window, ever the sixteen-year-old sophisticate. Matt stands at my open bedroom door wearing his 'I’m going to tell' look. Funny idiot, although he joined me at the time. I've not smoked in years, yet after all the shit, I've sneaky taken up the habit again, only occasionally though, when I'm feeling particularly stressed. Like now, I could sneak away for five minutes for a quick stress reducing cigarette. I looked around and noticed Marcus coming in, great one, he can take over now and I can go smoke before anyone catches me. "Hey, Marcus," I whispered. "Come here."

He smiles and unzips his jacket and made his way towards me. "What's up chuck?"

"Idiot," I chuckled. "You starting your shift?"

"Yep, I'm taking overtime. I need the dosh."

"Alright, I'm gonna pack up. Will you be okay?"

"Sure bud. You sneaking for a smoke?"

I inhale sharply, my very occasional secret vice exposed. "How do you know?"

"I caught you smoking last week."

"Right right, don't tell Matt."

Giving me a wink, he tapped my shoulder. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me," I sighed and made way with Marcus to the staff room out back. "Hey Matt," Marcus called out. "Henley's leaving, he needs a smoke." And then he starts to laugh.

"Damn you."

"It's only smoking you dumb ass."

I shy away and rush past him, to the glare from Matt. I ignored it and rushed into the break room and grabbed my jacket and backpack. Now I definitely need that drink. "Matt," I called and walked towards him. "I'm off, call me when your shift is over."

"It is, I'm leaving early. So gimme a smoke too."

"When did you start again?" I asked, pulling my smokes from my pocket.

"When did you?"

"After all the shit with Sara."

"Same, I guess. Anyway, time to blow this pop stand and get a drink."

"Lead away," I ushered with my hands and waited for Matt to grab his jacket. Damn it's so cold out it's ridiculous. "Matt, where are we drinking?" I asked when he hopped next to me.

"Dunno, anywhere with cocktails."

"You sure about cocktails?"

"Yep, Margaritas sounds freaking good right now."

"Fine, lets go."

"You know what’s better for stress relief?" Matt's questions as we're wandering down the street. I'm kind of scared for the answer. "Orgasms."

He just can't help himself, but I chuckled. "Yes, but it’s less socially acceptable to step outside the pub to rub one out."

"Ew. There is so much wrong with that sentence."

"You brought it up."

"In here," he said pulling at my jacket. "Happy hour." He squeaked. Oh man, he was right. This is really what I needed tonight. To let off some steam and have a little fun.

I found a table near the back of the place while Matt practically skipped up to the bar. I guess we both needed this, now for the dreaded talk. I can feel it's going to be an emotional one, especially with drinking involved. If I cry tonight, I will give up drinking forever.

"Here, one margarita and two shots each."

"You're joking, right?"

Matt points his finger to his chest. "Does it look like I'm joking, so drink up."

I sigh. "Fine, but if I get piss ass drunk, you're carrying me home."

He laughs and sits opposite me. "Can you imagine that?" He said then downs both his shots.

"I can actually," And I did the same, feeling the bitter heat spread down my throat to my stomach. "So, tell me everything."

"Where do I start?"

"The beginning."

"Fine," he grumbled and held his face in his palms. "I thought it was going great, you know. I guess I was just oblivious because I loved him so much," he paused and downs his cocktail. This is going to be a rough night. "Anyway, he was always late home from work. I thought nothing of it at first, it was only when he started to refuse me that I realized something wasn't right ...but you know me, I kept schtum until I couldn't handle it anymore and pulled him up on it."

"What kind of excuse did he have?"

"That's the thing, he didn't. He just said it, so easily too. I couldn't believe it, but it was true and it fucking hurt so much I actually wanted to die right on the spot."

Placing my hand on Matt's I looked at with so much sympathy, because I know how much it hurts. "I'm so sorry, I wish you had come to me."

"What would that accomplish? We both were going through something so awful."

"I know, but still…"

"No Henley," he said, cutting me off. "I didn't want you to see me cry. It makes me feel weak and pathetic."

"There's nothing wrong with crying Matt."

"Anyway, I kicked him out on his ass and I've not heard anything since."

"I guess that's a good thing, right?"

Matt sets off laughing, making me smile but then my smile falls when I realise how much of that laugh is actually pain. "So," he started, trying to change the subject. "I told my shit, now what's with you?"

Now I started to laugh, nervously so too. "Ahh, right."

"Don't stutter, just out with it."

"Well, shit. You're gonna think I'm nuts."

"I can't think you're anymore nuts than you already are. So, let it all go, please."

I looked at Matt again. I guess he really needs a distraction. "Fine. You remember Meg's birthday last week?"

"Yeah."

"We went to that gay bar."

"I know." He said smirking.

"Well, she made me get a lap dance."

"And?" Fucking ass was grinning widely, He's enjoying this way too much.

"I thought at first that the guy who gave me that lap dance was a woman, I feel stupid about it...but…" I stopped briefly. "But...my dick was refusing to believe otherwise."

"So you got a hard on from a guy?"

"Exactly. I mean Jesus Matt, he was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. I couldn't control my emotions let alone my dick and then, fuck. He kissed me."

"Wow."

"Wow indeed. So I got absolutely wasted after that and cried like a bitch."

"So, you want a guy now?"

"I was hoping the next morning I wouldn't. But I couldn't get him off my mind. So, I kind of went back there."

"Oh, shit."

I clasped my hands together, readying myself for the punchline. "We slept together."

Matt's jaw almost unhinged. "What?"

"We had sex, but he said that's it. No more. Not to look for him."

"Holy...mother...of god."

"Don't look at me like that."

"You got the feels right?"

  "I don't know what I feel, not anymore." And it's true. I don't know if it's love or just infatuation. Still, I really do want him again. So much.