It's simple, really. The world is split between technology and magic. Finlur needs technology because it does not possess magic. The people of the realm had been created stagnant of enchantment. It needed to close the gap between the power difference, so they focused solely on created human-made magic- technology. Cronad did not like it, but the two continents lived in peace. But technology proved to be more harmful and more powerful than Cronad had thought. Finlur was advancing too quickly, and the panic set in. The fighting began. After a day, Cronad realized they were out of their league. Finlur had planes that could fight from above. Thus, Cronad sought to cast a spell on the sky. They succeeded, and nothing could fly anymore. Travels across sea were only to be actuated by ships. But the waters were too dangerous. Finlurians became restless. They wanted to travel the world- to seek The Unknown, but now they could not. But it wasn't until Finlur sent a secret ship to Cronad in hopes to remove the spell, that the war began.

I suppose this was all very recent to me, but the war had started before my time. I think this war was inevitable. It has been ever since half the world had been gifted magic, and the other was gifted nothing.

* * *

They called it “The Spell.” It was a pretty generic name, but Finlur wasn’t familiar with magic so there could only be one spell. When it first took hold, I had just turned ten. But I wasn’t affected by it. I had no plans to travel across the world. I was just trying to- well, I’m not sure what I was trying to do. Survive? Live? Something like that. So, it was only when I turned up to serve army duty when I realized how problematic it was. Finlur received most of its produce from Haltur. You see, it wasn’t such fertile land there. Some things grew there, but the climate wasn’t equipped for agriculture and farming. It was a land made for an industrial nation. But with The Spell in place, planes couldn’t receive the produce. Finlur began to live on artificial food made entirely of chemicals, and the little amounts of natural products left. The already not so great life expectancy reduced. The army didn’t inform us how Haltur was handling it, but they must have been suffering. Their top buyers- really their only buyers, had disappeared. It was already a poor country as it was.

There were other reasons for the war too, but that was the biggest one. Arkine and Viv banned together and plotted to infiltrate Cronad. They would begin from the bottom. Siege Kayon. Take over Linove. Leave them no choice but to end The Spell. But it had somehow gone awry. I was aching to know the truth of what happened. I couldn’t trust anything anyone said here. I needed to hear it from a Finlurian.

King Raulyn had left after what he said about the battle being won, but the war not over. A guard had rushed in a said, “Your majesty, there is an urgent matter that needs attention.” With that, he took one last assessing look at me and left. He didn’t say anything. He just left. Gone. Now, I am left alone with the old man. He is rummaging through some vials.

"What is your name?"

It was a simple question to make conversation. The silence was beginning to feel awkward. He doesn't lookup.

"Wichata." His voice was broken and weak. I think about how unusual that name is.

"That is not Linovian?"

He still isn't looking at me.

"No… It is not."

When he doesn't continue, I introduce myself. He doesn't react to that — not even a subtle acknowledgment.

"Are my wounds going to heal?"

"If you stop talking."

I am taken aback at the quip. It was unbecoming of such an old man. I almost thought he was going laugh at his remark when it just turned into a wheezing cough.

It hurts. It sounds silly to say that. But it really hurts. To be ignored even by a lonely old man? It pains me more than it should have. I want to cry. I want to scream--to do anything but be stuck in this room. And then it occurred to me that I am not stuck. I have no chains- nothing keeping me here. So, I slowly start heading for the door.

"The king ordered me not to let you leave. You are not free to roam."

It was funny, really. What was he going to do? Hold me down? I might be injured, but I'm a trained soldier. I smirk and keep walking.

My first up-close experience with magic is not a pleasant one. My throat starts closing as if I am being choked. But I'm not. No one is touching me. I feel my blood rush to my head, causing my mind to go limp and my heart to slow. My head suddenly becomes very heavy, and I can no longer hold it up. My thoughts feel temporary- airy. I turn towards the old man. His lips were in a straight line, and his eyes held a frightening concentration on my neck. His features are tight against his wrinkles.

"St-to-op," It comes out strangled. Suddenly, the invisible hand is gone, and I can breathe again. I begin to gasp violently.

"Boy, you are not in Finlur anymore. You cannot just do what you please. You are a prisoner of war in a land that is not your own. Do not start testing the waters. It will only end with a painful death….at best."

It was something I had forgotten. I a still a prisoner. I am not free. I am alone. I was- I think Witchata has started choking me again, but he looks as surprised as I did when I start gasping for air. My body feels numb.

"What is-"

"Panic."

It was the day before drafting. There was excitement among the boys. After months of being angry about being forced to draft, we began to want it. We would finally be able to leave this damned house. We craved independence. We were excited to learn how to fight and shoot guns. We had even begun training for our training. I would be going into the army with a black eye. Others had it worse. We were idiots. The Ward had told us to pack our belongings. She had allotted an entire day for that. I think it was a slap in the face- an elusive mockery. We were orphans. We had nothing to our name. So we took the day to imagine how it would be in less than twenty-four hours.

"We will be able to kill all the bad guys."

"Jal, you are a bad guy."

"I don't think I am, though."

"Aur, what do you think?"

"Jal, you won't be killing anybody. You'd be lucky even to hold a gun, and I'm not so sure that I'll let them give you one."

"That's cold, R."

"Well, it's true. We aren't going to kill people. It's a formality."

"What do you mean?"

"Has there ever been a war?"

Jal and Kane were looking at me curiously. They were trying to process what I meant. When they understood, Jal slumped back against the bedpost. We had been sitting in our bedroom, casually talking.

Jal was born a day before me. Kane was born a week after me. That is how the rooming systems worked. We were paired with those closest in age. We had become close but not close enough to call ourselves friends. It was weird. We didn't hate each other. We, well, I think we knew that this thing we had was only because we were forced to live together. That fact remained a brick wall between us. Nonetheless, we conversed with each other in a friend-like manner.

"So, there isn't going to be any killing?" He sounded disappointed.

"No, Jal."

We were silent for a few minutes. It was a contemplative silence. We had all escaped into deep thought. Kane was the first person to break it.

"You know how I snuck out to that party? Well, I ended up talking to a bunch of older guys who had left from duty. They told me that it was the worst thing- the worst place they had ever been. They said the beds are stiff and the food is toxic. They said that you only get four hours to sleep at most. They said- man, they said a lot of things that scared me. Guys, I'm scared."

Kane's face was coated in terror. My stomach ached. Jal looked queasy.

"They said that for the next five years- for that grueling half-decade, we will not know freedom. We will not know sanity. We will-" His voice caught.

Kane was an interesting person. He was shy but he would always go out to parties and bars. He would sneak out every night and come back with his hair disheveled and fresh bruises lining his neck. He seemed to not be shy when it came to girls. I never dared to ask him why, if he was so reserved, did he go out every night. It was kind of an unspoken rule. Don't ask, don't tell, that is, unless we got really drunk and began to talk about our latest conquests.

Kane liked girls. He told me that the moment I met him. I think I developed a reputation among the guys. He told me that if he caught me looking at his dick, he would beat me up. I just laughed in his face. I told him that I would not waste my time pining after some small cocked loser. He looked offended. I cherished that face of anger and insult. Like the insecure bitch he was, Kane then whipped out his dick to show me that he was not small. I continued to laugh. He was right. It wasn't small. But it was nothing special. He claimed he was a grower. In between laughs, I managed to say "sure". A few days later, he came out of the bathroom, fully erect, to show me his "true" length. I just looked at him with a neutral face and said, “If you want to fuck me, just tell me. This is annoying.”

It turns out he did, but I didn’t let him. He tried to tell me he wasn’t into boys, and I just looked like a girl. It was a weird mix of a compliment and an insult. But I told him that I was just as manly as he was, so if he truly wanted to have sex with me, he would need to treat me as a man. He refused. So, nothing ever happened between us. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to. He was attractive, and I was always bored. I thought about letting him fuck me as a girl- maybe like roleplay. I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t that desperate.

Jal was different. He had no interest in Kane or me. He, now that I think about it had no interests at all. He said he just didn't feel those kinds of feelings. I didn't know what that meant. Was that even possible? He told me I was ignorant and that many people didn't have sexual desires.

"Not even a little?"

"R, stop asking me. The answer won't change. If it does, I'll let you know."

So that was us: one slutty gay, one insecure bisexual, and one satisfied virgin. It was a weird dynamic.

But now something had changed. We were not different. We were all scared. We were all beginning to realize what was about to become of our lives.

That's when it first happened. I began to shake and sweat. I couldn't speak- only gasps could escape. Kane was yelling my name, but I could barely hear him. It was as if we were underwater- I was underwater. I was drowning. Jal grabbed me and held me until I calmed down. He told me that I was having a panic attack. A few hours later, we boarded the bus to the army base.

That was years ago. It happened again when the war started. We were just given our placements. I was going to Kayon. Adam, Viv. We were going to be separated for the first time in years. He told me we would see each other again. He told me this was just a thing that would pass. But now, the only thing that had passed was him.