I stayed up, until the sun strarted turning dark clouds into fire. I rested my pale hand on top of the window sill in my room, where I was standing. Cold and dusty, just like any other. I wish there was someone else to help us keep this beautiful house in check, but as soon as my Master started his obscene projects, staff were no longer allowed in the west wing of the mansion. Eventually, he got rid of them all to keep our secret safe. Oh, how I wish I took a differet path that day. I was a young man with dreams and hopes. Look at me now, a shell of a human I once was. Filled with fear and pain, hands stained with innocent blood.
I heard a croak in my hear, and suddenly blood turned into ink. I blinked fast and lifted my head. The storm in my head has stopped, once I felt my raven affectionately tugging on my brown hair.

- I'm sorry, Charlie. Did I daydream again?

I said softly to the big black bird on my shoulder, and started stroking his chin with an index finger. Smart, dark eyes pierced my soul, as If the corvid read me like a book.

- ''Are you ok?''

Said the raven, mimicking my tone of voice. I simply smiled, looking at him fondly, and then turned my gaze to watch the sun rise from under tall tree crowns in the distance.

- There is no hiding from you, is there? You know me too well.

I answered and opened the window. Now both of my hands rested upon the stone cold window sill. Charlie slid down my arm to sit on the frame. I took a deep breath of fresh, morning air and closed my eyes for a moment, building up the courage to confess.

- I sometimes wonder where I would be, if I took a different path. If I've never met him, would I be a doctor by now, like my father always wanted? Would I be a poet like my mother ? Would I be... happy? Over there, over the horizon?

The raven croaked deeper, as if he was displeased, upset rather. I looked down and our eyes met once more. Black beads, they seemed to understand me. They looked at me with odd encouragement. For a second in my heart I felt a droplet of hope, sending into a race. But then I realised, It's just a bird.

I shook my head and blinked slowly, giving the raven a sad smile.

- I'm mad, arent I? A fool. You don't understand a word I say. I'm sorry.

Saying it felt like a lie. When I tried to pet Charlie's head, he gently nipped my finger, wanting me to leave him be. I sighed and looked at the horizon one last time, before returning to my desk. My mind started racing again, going over the thought of leaving this place and the bird's reaction. Sometimes it surprises me how much he understands about the world around him, but did he actually know what I was saying? He's sitting there now, on the window frame, looking at the morning sun bringing colour to the forest and meadows. Although, even if I wanted to leave this life behind, it would not end well. I tried escaping once, Duke was furious, acting heartbroken, the guilt got the best of me. Next day he would not leave my side, controlling everyhting I did, and so on for the next few months. I've been with him so long, he grew on me like an extra limb I can't get rid of. I don't want him, but I need him.

Finally, the clock struck six in the morning. It was time to start a new day, yet I have not slept one bit since yesterday. It seemed, as if sleep deprivation begun to be my normal state of being. It surely did not help my body to heal the injuries. I went to the bathroom, washed my face with clean, cold water and made myself look presentable. I put on a white, button up shirt, a forest green vest with striped pattern, but not easily noticable. I polished my brown boots and cleaned my glasses, putting them on in front of a french mirror. Huge, golden frame with beautiful carvings reflected sunlight on my pale face. My eyes looked so tired. Maybe if I don't talk to anyone, nobody will notice? I grabbed my willow basket and walked out to wake up Master Duke. My heeled boots made no noise on the soft, red carpet.

I approached the dragon's den and took a deep breath to soothe my pounding heart. I knocked and entered the room, Duke's silhouette still laying on the bed, visible through thin, silky fabrics hanging from the upper bed frame. I made my way closer to his person. I peeked through light textiles. His handsone face still asleep, lit up by the golden, morning sun. Only like this, you would ever see him so peaceful, so harmless and gentle. I took a moment to admire this view. You'd think I'd be repelled by his face at this point, but whenever I am lucky enough to see him like this, or to get any sort of gentle touch, it reminds me of the person whom I fell in love with so long ago. The person whom he once was.

I leaned in, gently running my fingers through thick, long, blonde hair. The demon has awakened, frowning, bright light hitting his tired eyes. He quickly reached for my wrist, pulling my hand away from the hair. Once his grey eyes got used to the light, he examined me.

- Where are you going?

- Groceries, like every monday, Sir. I'll be back soon.

Duke fell silent for a moment, coressing my palm with his. He processed my answer, then sighed before speaking.

- An hour, I'll be counting.

- Of course, my dear.

Demon pulled my hand closer, surprising me with a gentle kiss before letting it go, and shifting to the side to watch me walk out of his room. Walking out of the mansion I clenched the basket's handle with one hand, and with the other I pulled out a small, silver pocket watch from a equally small pocket on my vest. Fifty six minutes.

I marched through the forest, following a narrow, earthy road. People walked on it so much, the grass didn't feel like growing on it again, with a fear of being stepped on.

Nature out here was very lush and diverse. No matter what time of the day you step your foot outside, there will always be some curious creature to greet you. As I reached an uneven, cobblestone road, I could hear the lively city roar. Tall, gothic structures covered the horizon, but with all the beautiful buldings came an unpleasant smell. London wasn't very clean, therefor most of noblemen lived on the outskirts, or traveled by carriages. But I quite liked walking among other commoners, I liked the people. I think anyone would, if they were forced to spend most of their life in a mansion.

I made my way to the market, every now and then greeting acquaintances with a nod and a smile. I shopped here quite often, and my Master is a well known man too.

-Ah, Sir Williams! Hello! You're right on time. I've got some fresh bread for you.

A short lady with cat-like eyes called out to meplayfully, turning the sign on her bakery's door. The girl's smile grew weak and wry when I approached closer, green eyes examining me whole. It's not the first time Emilia sees me like this, tired and bruised. She opened the door for me, letting me in, and for a second disappearing behind the counter. Brunette popped back up, fresh Graham bread in her small, pale hands.

- Oh, you shouldn't have, really. You're a dear, Emilia.

I said with a smile and reached out to grab the loaf, however she pulled the bread closer to her chest, now her gaze piercing right through me.

- What happened to your nose, if I may ask?

I gaped a little in surprise, but I quickly pulled myself together and gave the girl a strained smile.

- I was cleaning. One of the busts fell right on me.

- You're quite clumsy then.

She said, and finally handed me the bread. I looked down, a little distand, put the loaf in my basket and repeated.

- Quite clumsy... Yes.

Emilia siged deepy, reaching out to me, and stroking my arm in attempt of lifting my spirit. She seemed to be the only one that knew what was happening behind the manor's walls, even if I never said it directly. That girl read me like a book, paying attention to every small hint I gave her. Emilia truly could've been my only friend here. Her brother, too, cared about my misfortune. Unfortunatelly, James had a little more of a ''act first, think later'' mentality, therefor each of us wanted to avoid this topic like fire when he was nearby.

Soon I left the shop a little puzzled, squeezing a handle of my basket a little tighter. I let my legs take my body through my market routine I subconsciously remembered, while my mind drifted off.

Why does it have to be like this? I barely had a chance to have a chat with Emilia. Is Duke doing it on purpouse? Giving me so little time... No.

I stopped for a second, looking back at Brunette's bakery. What am I thinking? I'm a terrible lover, and and an awful servant. I must do what my master tells me, I must obey, and question nothing. We're both playing with fire. I believe it to be the reason, for why Duke does not allow me to talk to anyone.

Suddenly, a loud voice of a child shook me out of the deep though. A newsboy screaming, selling newspaper to pedestrians. Confused about my whereabouts I looked around. My willow basket full of neatly stacked groceries. When did I do that? I reached for a watch in my vest pocket, and checked the time a little panicked. Twenty minutes, good time. I approached the small child and reached for my pouch. Exchanging few coins for a newspaper, boy tipped his hat to me and continued calling out to people. Straightening the press, my heart jumped a little when I read the headline - ''Terror in capital city. Three more people missing''. Folks are starting to notice, we must be more careful if we don't want to hang for our sins. Duke is not going to be very pleased about this.