My vision swirls as if the world's spinning; slowly being caught in a trance, a soft, delicate texture presses up against my finger tips as it glides effortlessly across the surface.

"T-Tsuchida-san..."

"It's okay, Senpai," her breath tickles my ear yet again as gradually heats up, "Go for it..."

I try to push aside the matter, because I know if I give in, there's no way I'll be able to escape. I'll regret it. Everything I've done up until now will be for naught, because I'll be at her mercy. I know this, and yet.

"Senpai, you're such a tease.~ I can't wait any longer, so hurry."

Shaking her body, the bed squeaks beneath our weight as her body continues to press up against mine.

"Why are you doing this..?"

My body disobeys my mind to break free from her slender figure, as though I'm captivated by her, despite her twisted nature.

"You should already know that by now, Senpai."

"...You're doing this, because you love me?"

If it's due to only love, then I'm sure we wouldn't be in this situation. There's something, there has to be something pass; something that she may not even realise.

"I love you, Senpai. And so, I'll give you my everything. Isn't that normal?"

"That's...-"

Wrong. That's what was supposed to follow along, however; not even I'm sure of what love actually is. I've never fallen in love before, the thing with Himeko-san is merely there because I wondered. I wondered, if I could fall in love if it were with someone as highly admired and beautiful. I can appreciate her beauty, howTever, my heart never raced this fast for her. Sure, it may be because of the situation I'm in, but, I can't help but wonder.

Raising her body once more, she stares into my eyes with conviction.

"Senpai. I'm right here, all I'm waiting is for you to simply tell me, yes. If you agree, then everything I have; it's all yours. My heart, even if you want just my body."

"..."

Her composure slowly falls apart, as her body trembles against mine. At that point, I could tell how genuine her feelings are.

"Senpai," reaching for my hand, she takes it with both hands as raises it to her chest, "My heart, it beats only for you."

"...But, Tsuchida-san..."

I wonder, if we never spoke that day. Just who would she have fallen for? I'm sure there are many who'd take advantage of her.

"I didn't do much for you, which was why I forgot about you. Knowing that, you'd still love me?"

"It doesn't matter what you remembered, because in my mind, it's a vivid memory. You didn't just speak to me, and say for me to join a club. But you introduced yourself to me, Senpai. You gave my life meaning."

"...Then, it could have been someone else, couldn't it? Another person... It didn't have to be me."

"..."

She falls silent as if finds my words to be the truth. If it were someone else, she would have fallen for them. It's not me specifically that she loves.

"Perhaps... but, even so... I love you, Senpai. I love you. Is it because of that, that you won't agree to be with me?"

"T-That's not-... I, I don't love you, Tsuchida-san."

I didn't want to say it again, because the first time, it honestly felt like I'd break.

"Senpai..."

Her expression droops and in contrast to her collapsing composure; it's as if her past self is rising from the rubble as she looks painfully at me with watery eyes.

"...But, perhaps, maybe it's because I haven't fallen in love before. Or know what love is. In some way, I'm envious of you, Tsuchida-san."

"Senpai..?"

"Haahh..." I heave a sigh as I feel my mind returning back to normal, however, I choose to lay still, "Guess I'll just tell you then," with a deep breath, I tell her everything, "My family, we're brought up to be the best in something. If we're not there to begin with, strive to obtain it. That's basically how it always has been. My parents and siblings are all great in what they do and I'm to follow suit."

"So because of that... You won't go out with me?"

"Yeah."

I answer so bluntly that I begin to wonder if I enjoy this.

"...Then, Senpai. Are you enjoying your school life?"

"Enjoying? Well, there's a lot-"

"I'm not talking about Student Council work, or anything to do with that. But you, yourself, as just a student. Are you enjoying it? Didn't you say to me, that you envy your friends?"

"T-That's not-"

She stares directly into my eyes as I have a hard time looking away, it was as if I'd betray my ideals if I did avert my eyes.

It's not like I hate what I do, there are times when I do enjoy it. Though probably too far in between, it's not like you join the SRC to have fun in essence. But to feel somewhat responsible to managing the student body, and the satisfaction you gain when all things go accordingly. In fact I like having a clear goal to strive towards.

Though, I can't deny the thought that always lingered in the back of my mind. Perhaps I think to myself it's because I haven't been taught anything else. I haven't had my first love, like what my friends have had and going around to see the sights after school. I do wonder what the world is actually like and if I really am enjoying my youth.

Perhaps once I graduate I'd be able to explore, however, that may be just wishful thinking.

"You're such an idiot, Senpai. You have someone right here, and you're saying no because of your values in which you yourself hold in such low regards."

"W-Well, it's because, y-you're...-"

"Oh?"

Something grabs her attention as she directs her sights downwards as she then looks to me with a plotting grin before leaning closer.

"I wonder, what that may be?~"

"That's!-"

As though my heart exploded, the clashing sound of a door resonates throughout the house.

"W-What, why are they doing back so early?!"

Tsuchida-san jolts as she quickly leaps off the bed and begins to panic.

"Y-Your parents?"

I sigh in relief as I take a deep breath and still my racing heart as though I were saved. However, upon thinking about it, I realise I'm in even more of a predicament, if not more dire than the one I escaped from.

Their daughter's in her room with a guy from school, not only that but she's not wearing any pants!

"Keiko, did you bring back a friend?"

A woman's voice calls out as I hear footsteps slowly approaching, with each step louder than the previous.

"T-Tsuchida-san, your clothes!"

"I-I know, b-but, how do I- a-aaa..."

She bounces towards her drawers as she quickly slips on some pants. Before I know it, we're looking at each other as though pressing the other for help.

"Tsk, okay, okay."

"Keii~ko?"

The door slowly creaks open as a head peaks through, a face though young, I'm reminded of the chairs in the living room. With there being three, this should be her mother, and yet she looks young enough to be her older sister.

"W-Welcome back, Ma-Mama..." Tsuchida-san awkwardly spins in her chair to greet her, "Y-You're back early today, did something happen?"

"Yes, work was finished earlier, but there's a few things left over, but Otou-san said he can handle it all so I could cook dinner."

Her eyes slowly pan towards me as I stand by her daughter as though I'm watching over her at the table.

"This is rare, Keiko brought a friend home, a handsome boy at that."

The door opens just enough for her to slip through as she stands in a business attire; most likely working an office job.

"Uehara Naoko, I'm a third year at your daughter's high school. Tsuchida-san here asked if I could help her with her Maths work."

Though not quite. Sure, there's an opened book and pen by the table, but as I briefly skim through the pages of math equations, she has them all correct using the quickest formula. It was the top most book the table so I just quickly opened it.

"Oh, so that's what it is. Thank you, for taking your time to help my daughter. But," her gaze turns towards her daughter, "Isn't maths your strongest subject, Keiko?"

"Y-Yes, b-but, I want to be better. B-Because Senpai said it'd be a lot tougher..."

Seeing the Tsuchida-san who was so dominant before trying to talk her way out of the situation she created is quite a sight.

"I see, and Uehara-kun, right? That band, you're part of the Student Council are you not? Aren't you all busy with work with the Culture Festival coming up?"

"Yes, however, I couldn't turn down-... her request..."

With that, my confidence slowly shatters as she too must have picked up on the change in atmosphere. Though, she doesn't pry further as she excused herself after thanking me again.

"Haahh..."

My legs become wobbly as I take a seat against the ground with a sigh of relief.

"Feel like I lost a bit of my life there. Haha..."

"Thank you... Senpai."

Returning to her meek self, now that her parent is here, she'd probably stop with her pranks. Knowing that, I could only smile in relief.

"If anyone caught wind of what was about to happen, I'd lose just about everything I've built."

"...Hehe, and what was going to happen, Senpai?"

She smiles weakly as it seems she's in a rather stable position. I doubt she'd suddenly throw herself on me again.

"Nothing at all."

After that, her body slowly slumps in her chair as she stares towards the ceiling.

"Even after that... Senpai still refused me. ...Hey, Senpai," calling out to me, we look into each others eyes, "Are you that against me? Do I not have anything you want?"

"If it were appearance alone, surely. But there's much more to it than that, isn't that right? Even I know, love isn't merely due to liking how one looks. In any case, you're saying you love someone, who'd end up neglecting you. Are you fine with that?"

"Of course I am... So long as I'm with Senpai, it doesn't matter how you prioritise me."

This girl. I'm beginning to wonder if she truly loves me, or if this is just a cry of desperation. Or perhaps, I'm just a heartless jerk who enjoys making girls cry.

"So say, if I do simply fall victim to my lust. Are you really sure you want that? Because at that point, it's not love, is it?"

"If it'd make Senpai look my way..."

"..."

Left speechless, I could only sigh as I stand back up.

"Well, I don't think we'd come into an agreement. So let's just start."

"Start..? Are you implying we..."

"No, study, s-t-u-d-y. I told your Mother I'd help, so if your grades don't get better it'd look bad on me."

After awhile of convincing her that it was just that, I begin tutoring her. Though, I say that however, I think I just wanted to know more about her. In any case, like her Mother mentioned, it'd appear she's rather competent in maths and she doesn't have any trouble with the work her teacher laid out for her this week.

"Senpai, are you good with maths?"

Of course she had to ask, after all, I'm the one tutoring her. And you can't tutor someone if you're terrible at the subject itself.

"I'd say so. I have to set a standing after all, I can't be failing in my position. So I work over everything."

Observing her work, she begins at her own pace solving the equations with the best possible formula. She's able to solve some problems in her head, rather than using a calculator like the average student. If she continues to work this way, I'm sure she'll have no troubles placing in the top five in her year.

"Being able to solve such equations with ease, you really don't need a tutor after all."

Her pen abruptly stops moving as though she's reprocessing my words in her head before letting out a soft giggle, "...Hehe, m-mm... I haven't told you either, have I? Studying is all I ever had."

She looks towards the shelf stacked with many books as I'm intrigued to glance over them. Sure enough, most were books to help with school with even mock test sheets for every subject that'd be covered for her year.

"But, unlike Senpai. It's not like I'm forced to or aim to be great. Okaa-san just said to just enjoy myself. I just don't have anything else, study... and getting lost in thoughts."

"I see. Well, half of school's trouble relates to how well you're doing in classes. So if you got that covered, it's just the other half. Tsuchida-san, you joined a club, didn't you?"

"Mm, I joined the Research Club."

The Research Club is basically what it sounds like, research topics, study them and have a form of discussion on each members findings. She sure is the studious type...

Continuing to progress through her homework, she'd ask for help despite not needing any.

"So what about me did you take an interest in?"

I felt like I should speak of something to keep myself preoccupied, however, those words simply slipped out. Probably because I am genuinely curious as to why she loves someone she's only been in contact with twice in a year.

"Everything about Senpai, I love."

As though it were a given, she didn't even need to take her eyes off the page as she continues making progress on her work.

"You changed me, and I like the way I am now because of you. There's something I can actually devote myself to, a passion I thought I'd never feel."

"All because I suggested for you to join a club?"

I don't understand love, yes that is true. I feel somewhat glad she feels that way, however, that doesn't mean I'm satisfied with her reason being. It could have been anyone, not me. Is that normal? I believe people fall in love because they feel like they're special, the only one in the world for them, and not because it's something anyone else could do the same.

I just don't get it at all.

"Mm... you might not be able to understand, but it really was special to me. I felt like I was saved that day. I'm sure Senpai feels like it could have been anyone else, and... I can't say you're wrong."

Acknowledging it, I'm grateful she's being honest about that.

"I just wanted someone to really look at me, and truly feel like they wanted me to stay."

Her soft words flowed out as the genuineness of it almost sways me.

"I'm sure you haven't realised it, but... I don't look anything like my Mother, do I?"

"...I can't say. I didn't try to put the two of you together."

And you sometimes can't quite tell based on that alone.

"I'm not their legitimate daughter, but her sisters'... The one who gave birth to me. She said she was too busy to care for a child. So, I was handed off to someone else to look after. In the end, they died in an accident, and since, I became their daughter just because they were my guardians at the time."