When I first started kindergarten I was struck by the type of fear you get when you go on the world’s highest roller coaster, and you have altophobia. Up until that point of my life the only voice i knew was my mom’s, and my grandma’s but that day they took me to a place where children were screaming, and crying, and i didn’t know what was going on, i just remember holding tightly to my mother’s soft hand, i could hear the children walking toward me, and all i wanted to do was run for my life, but i had to be strong for my mother, and for myself.

“ Hello, you must be ms. Asha, I received an email about your child.”

“ Yes, you can just call me Leigh-ann. I was just wondering if the school offered independent learning for students in need of one-on-one help.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, but we don’t provide any of that type of help for our students, at least not during school. We do offer after school care, and there she can have some one-on-one lessons with one of the volunteers.”

“ I see, and will that cost much?”

“ Oh no, it’s only 100 for the first child, and 10 for any additional children.”

“ and that’s a monthly cost?”

“ Yes ma'am, but we do have the best child care system around, and it does come with a lot of other benefits other than extra time to pick up your child. We do summer care, and we go on field trips and-”

“ That's okay. I just need her to be able to hear you speak, so she knows what she's doing.”

“ I completely understand, she’ll be seated right up front next to my desk, and I'll be sure to tell the school to order all the books she’ll need in brail so she can follow along with the rest of the class.”

“ That's perfect, and tomorrow I'll send her a typewriter for her classwork.”

“ Great! The school is thrilled to have you guys here with us, and we’ll send you the billing for the personalized equipment near the end of the year.”

“ oh, haha, great.” Her voice didn’t sound so happy about that, but at the time I didn't notice what my mom had to go through just to put me in school. At the time i was overwhelmed by all the voices and noises from all corners of the room.

“ Hi there, my name is Mrs. Mary, what’s your name?”

“ go ahead sweetly, tell her your name.”

“Mm, no.”

“ come on sweetheart-”

“ No that's okay, we’ll be having an introduction anyway, and speaking of which it’s almost time for class to get started.” the teacher reached out her hand,“ may i?”

“ oh! Yes. here you go.” i think mom was just as worried as i was at the time, “ darling, mom has to go, okay? You’re going to go with Mrs.mary to meet the rest of your class.”

“ mommy~”

“ It's okay dear, I'll be back before you know it.”

I felt my mother’s grip loosen as she handed me off to my teacher. From that point on I don't blame my mother for what happened, but looking back I wish I had told her.