Lainey and I met during Physics Ed. I was this difficult-to-approach girl and she was friendly. I didn't know anyone in that class and even though I wanted to be close to others, I felt there wasn't a need to make friends.

I guess habits really don’t change.

P.E. in high school was just one class out of many after all. It's where all programs mixed together, a medley. Outside of that medley, we all belonged to different factions.

It wasn’t necessary to make friends.

There was a boy in that class I’ve ‘known of’ since middle school. I say ‘known of’ because well, habits don’t die.

I would've approached him someday... maybe.

Lainey introduced herself first. She was loud and full of life. Her light brown curly hair which she often wore down bothered me. I didn't like curly hair because I had curly hair. They're hard to tame and she was able to tame hers. I guess I didn't like her pretty.

Whenever I spent time around Lainey, it was always about her (good-for-nothing) boyfriend and the countless things we disliked. We gossiped about others like it was the only thing to talk about. We hated her family for making her responsible for every little thing. We bashed on girls whose appearance looked conceited when in reality, we were pretty conceited ourselves.

To her, I was a pure and beautiful child even though the words that oozed out of my mouth were tainted black. She reminded me a little of Lilly, spunky and outspoken. She had that amazing aura too.

But Lainey wasn't amazing.

She was just a normal girl like myself who sometimes found life a pain in the ass. She didn't live a perfect life with perfect hair every single day. She had her bad days too, so bad, she couldn't hold the tears back one day.

He'd hurt her.

Again.

I never liked the male species. I found men rather disgusting. If they weren't like Drake, they were scum. Her boyfriend was scum. He was always making himself better than everyone, better than her. I wanted to tell her, "break up with him. He's not worth it."

What is a person's worth?

I didn't know him, not personally at least. I'd only heard stories from her.

He was years her senior. He had a job. He has girls fawning over him and that she was lucky to have been chosen. I didn't understand that. I still don't. He treated her poorly. He promised things he couldn't fulfill and turn it around as if she'd been the one to promise in the first place but every time she felt down about it, vented her heart out to me, she'd always protected him.

Of course, I didn't stand a chance in the debate. I didn't know the guy. He was just a figment of her stories.

When she finally broke and spilled out tears, I just stood watching her.

I was never friendly. Whenever anyone asked me to hang out, the immediate answer would be "No". "No, because of my mom." "No, I have chores to do." "No, I have a curfew." "No." No. No. Just no.

Friends stayed in school and they only existed in school.

If I even had them.

I was fifteen but I'd never gone out of the house without family. I didn't spend after school outside with friends. I walked to school at seven in the morning and walked home promptly after the last class or activity. I remember spending some time at school just to be with friends, being away from family, but then feeling like I had to be home. My parents never gave me a curfew. They didn't have to. They must have known how I limited myself.

I'd never been in a situation where I had to comfort a crying person. So, I let her cry on her own. It's how I cried. It's how I'll let her.

Habits, they just never change.