“Clef! There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere. I came to have lunch with you.” Both of them jump slightly as if I’ve startled them. I can see the relief in Clef’s eyes at the same time I see the question. I bet he’ll ask me later how much I heard.

Analise’s eyes narrow and she purses her lips. She’s angry I interrupted them. I can practically feel waves of irritation spilling off her. Her face gets a nasty twisted grimace before she quickly conceals it, giving Clef a side-glance, possibly to make sure he didn’t see it. Did I really think her face beautiful? Perhaps it’s irritation, but she couldn’t be uglier.

I give a grin, and plaster an innocent look on my face, then as if I’m noticing her for the first time, I widen my eyes a bit in her direction.

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” I ask. I turn to look at Clef, pointedly ignoring Analise.

His eyes twitch to her and he shakes his head. “No, nothing at all. I was just about to go eat.” It’s clear he doesn’t want to introduce us and since he doesn’t know we’ve met again, I play dumb.

“Oh, well nice meeting you, sorry I have to steal him away.” I say with a passing glance at Analise. There’s fire in her eyes. Clef strides forward and wraps me in a bear hug.

“Thanks for coming Leary. I’ll treat you to some hot cocoa.” Analise looks like she’s about to say something, so I talk over her.

“With marshmallows and some pie?” I ask. Clef chuckles and nods. Apparently old me had just as bad of a sweet tooth as the me now, and I know the familiarity is probably reassuring to him.

“Sure, what kind of pie? I think there’s chess, peach, coconut cream, and maybe some blueberry today.”

Without a word of goodbye, we leave Analise standing alone in the hall. Neither of us even glances back.

“Hmmm, what kind of pie did I like before?” Clef’s gaze shifts over me, I can see his shoulders visibly relaxing, his muscles unfurling as the tension leaves him. He smiles, a real smile that touches his eyes, making them crinkle around the corners. I rarely ask questions like this and he welcomes the distraction.

“Your favorites were key lime and lemon meringue. You said they made you think of the beach.”

“Ah but since they don’t have those, what’s your favorite?” He pauses for a moment, looking deep in thought, but I don’t think he’s thinking of pie. “I bet its coconut cream, because you’re always nutty.” He lets out a startled laugh at my stupid joke.

“And you would be wrong my dear Leary. Next guess?”

“Hmmm… Chess because it rhymes with Clef?”

“That doesn’t rhyme.”

“Uh huh, it’s a slant rhyme.” I say, sticking my tongue out. “No go?” He shakes his head.

We get in line and he grabs a tray, placing three sandwiches and a couple bags of chips on it. We’re nearing the dessert and I wonder if he’s really wanting me to keep this guessing game going for the distraction, or if a part of him is hoping I might just remember something as insignificant as what kind of pie his favorite is. At this point it’s getting to process of elimination, unless his favorite isn’t one on the list of today’s pies.

“Hmmm… is it one from the list you gave me?”

“That’s cheating. You have to guess.” He says as he places two fruit cups on the tray and starts filling a cup with coffee.

I think for a moment of what little I know about Clef’s eating habits. I’m still having trouble with telling him and Alto apart but thankfully their eating habits are as similar as their faces.

Their sweet tooth’s probably rival my own, or perhaps the whole family just has a sweet tooth, except Harp who likes to drink black coffee, black tea, and even eats oatmeal without any added sugar.

Alto and Clef always drink their coffee choked with cream and sugar, they like sugar in their grits, they drown their pancakes in blueberry syrup. They don’t like strawberry or grape jam but will eat jars of… I know what it is.

“Blueberry, because you only eat blueberry jam, and you’re always using blueberry syrup. And you love the homemade blueberry muffins that Serenity-Mom makes.”

Clef looks genuinely surprised. He drops the coffee lid he’s holding.

“I’m right aren’t I?” I ask as he bends to retrieve the lid. His mouth gapes a bit.

“Did you?” I shake my head. I didn’t remember that. I deduced it.

“Sorry… it was just a really good guess. I was thinking about your eating habits.” No need to let him know I was thinking of Alto’s and his eating habits, neither of them need to know that I can’t tell them apart most of the time, that’d only hurt their feelings.

“It’s…” He sighs and reaches for two packets of hot chocolate. “It’s okay Leary, that was good guesswork.” He gives me a grin over the steaming water pouring into the powdered cocoa. “Two slices of blueberry pie it is.”

When the cup is halfway full he pours in vanilla and caramel creamer. I arch a brow as he passes the cup to me along with a little stirrer. “Believe me, you love it this way. Makes it’s creamier.”

I stir silently as we make our way to the pies, two plates of blueberry pie are placed on the crowded tray and then to a cooler of little mini servings of ice-cream, chocolate and vanilla find their ways to the tray, and then he pays for everything and we take our seats. He’s right about the hot chocolate, it is creamier.

“Not bad for hospital food.” I say, digging into the pie first, even though he hands me one of the sandwiches, it appears to have some unidentifiable lunch meat with lettuce and tomato on it.

The label says turkey, didn’t know turkey came in that shade, I’m rethinking my earlier statement. Clef catches the look I give the turkey sandwich.

“You think this is bad then you should see what we feed the patients. Let’s just say, you’re lucky we were bringing you food before you were released.”

He scarf’s down both his sandwiches before I’m even three bites into my pie. “This is restaurant quality compared to that stuff.” He says around a mouth full of food.

We eat in silence for a bit and then when he’s done with his chips and inhaling the fruit cup he looks up at me and lets out another sigh.

“That girl you saw in the hall…” He lets it hang, as if waiting for my permission to tell me. My acting must’ve been pretty good if he didn’t catch on that I knew her. I almost say I know but I don’t want surprise him into thinking I remembered, and then have to tell him the truth. So, I widen my eyes and play dumb again.

“What about her?” He’s mangling a bit of pear with his fork, but I can tell he wants to say it, perhaps he needs to.

“She’s my ex.” He lets the last word hang for a bit and I can tell it’s a conscious decision not to add fiancée.

I let my mouth form a little O of surprise.

“You heard… didn’t you?” Busted. I nod… now this… I don’t want to lie about.

“We broke up a little after your accident,” before I can respond he rushes to explain that it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with her being a cheater.

“She was fooling around with someone before she even asked me out and when she asked me out… they didn’t stop. I caught them in a janitor’s closet. He was the janitor.” The way he says the story, as if he’s listing groceries that we need, no emotion at all, it’s clear he’s said the words many times before.

“Should I go back and pull her hair out for you? We could make a wig out of it.” My response must catch him off guard because for a moment his mask slips and I can see the pain and betrayal he’s still feeling.

“You know… that’s exactly something the old you would say.” He digs into his pie as way of ending the talk of Analise and I decide to change the subject.

“Tell me about your internship?” I say, and Clef jumps at the topic. Telling me about how he decided to go into the medical field after his appendix burst.

“I was your age when it happened, you know.” He glances down at his melting ice cream.

“They… the doctors that is, they were just so awesome. I mean I’d been to the hospital before, but I’d never had to have a surgery, and everything was so fast. I was terrified, but I realized I wanted to be like them, to be able to fix things… and to save people like that.”

He talks about how he focused even more on his studies after that and graduated high school a year early. He lights up as he talks, and I can tell he really loves what he’s doing. 

***

When I get home I'm exhausted, but I feel content, like I’ve accomplished more than I really have. I lay back in my bed listing the things I still need for the séance and twirling Evan’s hair around my fingers.

My bedroom light flickers again. It’s always flickering. No one else notices but me and nothing we’ve done so far has made it go away.

Frustrated, I go to the utility closet and grab the box of bulbs again. Since I have nothing better to do, I fully intend on replacing it again and again until I find a bulb that doesn’t flicker.

The box is empty, and I reach farther in the closet to the box behind it, making a mental note to tell Reid and Serenity that the bulbs are nearly out. The box is a little heavier than bulbs usually are. When I get it to the light of the hallway I see it’s not a box of bulbs at all. It’s got a book in it, the cover is soft yellow leather and the pages have uneven edges, there’s a little clasp in the front with a lock on it. My initials are engraved on the cover.

“Well, it looks like I found my missing journal.” I say aloud, peering at Godzilla who’s leaned against the wall watching me. When I’m back in my room… the light has stopped flickering.