Pheles’s POV:

It took longer than it ought to have, considering my status as the flipping prince, before the two of us managed to step foot in the stables. I mean you’d think I could just wave my hand and there would be a throng of maids readily available to do my bidding. You’d think that, but you’d be wrong.

I suppose I only have myself to blame, after all I did order all my usual maids away. However I thought that even though they were not watching over me directly they would still be around. I was apparently mistaken in that regard.

Every man, woman, and child in the palace appeared to be in a tizzy over whatever grand event my mother had planned this week. Whatever it is, I’m sure it must be incredibly extravagant seeing how hard it was for me, a prince, to get anyone's attention.

I swear that woman is going to run this kingdom into the dirt with the amount of money she waists on pointless things. Not that I am innocent in this regard if my wardrobe is any indication, but I feel like the two expenses don’t really compare. What's that saying, ‘Dressing well is a form of good manners?’

Yes that’s it, dressing well is a form of good manners. So the two must be incredibly different, after all I’ve never heard anyone say, spending others money on pointless events is a form of good manners. Besides, owning nice things isn’t inconveniencing anyone, unlike her over decorated parties that seem to exist for the soul purpose of being inconvenient.

Something lands on the top of my head with a thump snapping me from my thoughts and I glance around to find sharp eyes staring at me with an annoyed look.

After what feels like forever under his gaze he sighs loudly and lifts up a piece of paper for me to read. “Snap out of it lunkhead. You're staring.”

“That is an incredibly improper way to address your Prince.” I proclaim as soon as the words register in my brain and he sends me a look of bewilderment.

“My apologizes, your majesty.” He writes quickly and I am about to proclaim my forgiveness when he flips the paper over. “I know how hard it must be to live your life as a lunkhead.”

“Did you have that written out in advance?” I ask a bit bewildered by his quick witted response.

“Not everyone takes hours to come up with their quips.” He shows me once he’s done writing and I scowl at him.

“I do not take hours. I take the required amount of time to formulate a well endowed comeback.” He just stares at me blankly after I speak and I have to resist the urge to yell at him.

“I suppose something about you had to be well endowed.” He scribbles.

“Silence, you ingrate. I am about at the end of what I can take from you.” I finally crack down on him and I have to say it feels good. It would feel even better if he wasn’t looking at me like he had no intention of listening to my words, but one takes what one can get.

“Let’s just do what we came down here to do.” I say after a moment.

Dill just stares at me coolly before his lips break into a mischievous smile and he gives me a suggestive look.

“I almost forgot you wanted to ride. So how do you want me?” He asks calmly and my hands clench into fists at the words on the page.

“I already told you that wasn’t going to happen. So quiet down and come along.” I tell him pointedly before moving deeper into the stables.

Just for that he can ride the donkey. I think with amusement before stepping into one of the pens.

***

Dill’s POV:

The whole thing is utterly ridiculous. I think as my eyes land on the blocky, foul smelling, beast in front of me. I mean, the thing barely comes up to my chest and that's with the ears included. There is no possible way I’ll be able to ride it, at least not without squashing the poor thing.

Pheles is such an ass… I think and suddenly an idea begins to form inside my mind. I let a slow smirk draw across my face before taking my quill in hand and begin writing.

“Sure is a nice ass you have there, your Majesty.” Pheles’s face erupts like a volcano as soon as his eyes land on the page and he lets out a soft sound of embarrassment.

“Didn’t I just tell you I wasn’t going to put up with any more of your- Your- Comments?” He growls angrily, though it’s hard to take a person seriously when their face looks like an overripe tomato.

“Was that what you meant?” I write with a bit amusement. “I thought you were talking about something else.”

“Why the devil would you think that?” He practically screams at me. “Stop taking everything I say as an invitation to fiddle with my body.”

“Fiddle with your body?” I scrawl. “Who ever said that was the something I was thinking of?” I flip the page around and give him a raised eyebrow for effect.

“You- You.” He begins but when he doesn’t seem to find the right words he throws his hands in the air and shouts. “Oh, just shut up you intolerable jackass.”

“I can’t do anything but shut up.” I tell him with another raised eyebrow. “I can’t speak.” He just stares at me for a long while after reading that before turning on his heels and entering the stall next to the one with the pathetic excuse for a donkey residing within.

“Good point. I suppose I’ll be ignoring you then.” He says before pulling himself onto his horse. “Hurry up. If we’re not back in time for whatever my dear mumsy has planned for today, then we might as well not come back at all.” He finishes this sentence with a flourish of his hand before leading his horse out of the stall and through the stable doors.