“I tried to scream

But my head was underwater.

They called me weak

Like I'm not just somebody's daughter”

~EVERYTHING I WANTED, Billie Eilish

…

When Ben came back to the table, he found Elena on the phone with her mother. He took his seat and waited for her to finish her call, not wanting to be rude and interrupt her conversation.

“Alright. Okay…That sounds good. It’s good to hear you guys are fine. Alright… Really, Mom, I’m okay, don’t worry.” Elena glanced up at Ben, mouthing ‘my mother is dramatic’ before turning to look away again. “Yes, Mom. Okay, I will. Yes, I’m eating. Yes. Okay. Okay… Merry Christmas to you, too. No worries. Bye Mom. Give Elliot a hug from me, ok? Thanks. Bye. Love you, too.” He watched her end the call and she turned back to him.

“Mom?”

“Yeah. She wanted to know how I was doing, and to let me know that they’d arrive to Argentina. They’re going to be there until around the second week of January.”

“Seems like she worries about you not eating well…” Ben started and Elena shrugged.

“I had some eating issues a while back,” she replied, staring down at her phone. That was it. No other comment. She rested her cheek on a hand as she looked up at Ben again. “How’s Sherry?”

“She’s spending time with her grandmother. She’s doing good.”

“Did she ask you where you were?”

Ben sighed. “She hadn’t. Until she heard a damn seagull on the background and asked if I was at the beach. It kind of slipped out that I was in Fort Bragg. With you.” He looked up at Elena to see her reaction. She studied him a moment before sitting up straight again, looking serious.

“You know, I don’t want to be the reason that there is any trouble between the two of you. I don’t… think I would like to be in her position with my boyfriend spending his holidays on the road with another woman. What are you really doing with her—besides the sleeping part? Because it’s a horrible feeling to imagine what she might be imagining right now.” Elena frowned and looked away. “It’s not nice to be played with, you know.”

Ben groaned slightly, running a hand over his face. “I know. I’m not… We talked before she left that we would try to be honest with each other. We’re going to start over and hopefully avoid so much confusion.”

Elena turned back to Ben. “That’s good. But… maybe we should avoid spending time together alone once we go back home. I don’t like feeling like I’m intruding on her territory.”

“I’m not a piece of something to own,” Ben said with a frown.

“You know what I mean. It can get messy. You know how bad it would look if people find out that I’m out here with you, even if nothing is happening. People make up things. I don’t want to lose my job.”

Ben scowled, but said nothing else. She was right, he was putting her in a situation that could get pretty messy very quickly.

“I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her about this later. And I don’t want you to feel obligated to listen to my crazy ass. I don’t want to cause any trouble for you.” He told her with a sigh. She nodded, but said nothing else. They were in an awkward position of friendship. She knew that people would most definitely judge their relationship to be on the physical aspect no matter what she said. They wouldn’t believe her if she tried to explain that they were nothing more than friends.

Friends?

Were they even friends?

She bit her lip nervously and wished she knew what was going exactly. The way that they had started hanging out more often was because of him—he kept coming back again and again even when he had known that it made her slightly uncomfortable. She wasn’t terribly uncomfortable around him anymore and she wasn’t quite sure when her emotions had changed around his presence.

“Do you want to take Roxana’s offer and see what this party of hers is about?”

“Huh?” Elena looked back at Ben. “What?”

“The party, that Alonzo’s mother invited us to?” Ben wasn't sure if he wanted to actually go to this party, but he thought it would a good change for Elena. He knew that she didn't like to be around new people, but perhaps this would be good for her. Even if he didn't want to admit it, she was attracted to the other man and maybe it would be good for her to spread her wings. He felt off for a moment and realized that he trying to act like a matchmaker.

"I don't know..." Elena started. She really wasn't sure about going and meeting random people. She thought for a moment, before sighing. "You know what? It wouldn't be a bad idea. I... want to talk to Alonzo about something. I would like to get his input in something."

Ben frowned. "About?"

"His daughter."

"So what's going on with his daughter anyways?" Ben asked as he sipped his drink. "She seemed pretty taken with her dad."

"Well..." Elena sighed and studied Ben's face for a second, "I think she might have autism."

Ben stopped, drink halfway to his mouth. "What... what do you mean?"

Elena shrugged. "I think she might be autistic. There was a couple actions that she was doing that caught my attention. The lack of... she didn't like strangers, in case you didn't notice. She was very shy, too shy for a normal child. She wasn't speaking, even when her grandparents arrived and tried to greet her. I didn't see her look up or try to catch anyone's eyes. In fact, it was the opposite. She definitely avoided everyone's eye."

"I know I'm not a pediatrician, but there is more to just the child avoiding everyone's gaze," Ben started as he tried to think the way that the little girl had acted and if he had missed something. Clearly he had, but that was because he wasn't actually focused on the girl, but her father and older relatives. "How could you be sure that his daughter could be autistic? You sound pretty sure of yourself."

Elena smiled slightly before dropping her gaze to her drink.

"Because that's how Elliot acted before he was properly diagnosed as being on the spectrum."

Ben stared at his nurse sitting across the table from him.

"Oh. Wow. I'm...I'm sorry. Forgive me for being... insensitive."

"It's okay. Elliot's good. He's a young man. He's like any other young adult with the exception that he is... not fully like every other young adult male." She thought about Elliot's current obsession with cacti and succulents. He had gone through a cowboy phase and knew- from watching the shows-- that "cactuses are from the desert." 

"How old was he when he got diagnosed?"

"About six years old. Mom thought that it was too early to diagnose him as autistic when he was between two and three and she thought that it was just him being a toddler. You know how kids can be at that age. His pediatrician agreed that it could possibly be too soon to give a diagnosis, but they decided on taking him to a special "school" where he could be observed by a couple of therapists. Needless to say, they agreed that he was showing clear signs of autism." She smiled, more to herself than with Ben as she remembered how her mother had cried when the therapists had started counting off on the different things that they had observed during their time with Elliot.

"What did your mom say?"

"She was heartbroken at first. She thought it was her fault that he'd turned out that way. She cried so much, I was surprised that she didn't run out of tears. The doctor and therapists had to reassure her that it just...happens sometimes. It wasn't her fault."

"I bet she was stressed out."

"Yeah, it was also about the time that my dad had passed away, so she had those emotions to deal with and my brother's diagnosis on top of that."

"So, you think that Alonzo's daughter could possibly be on the spectrum then?" 

"Sadly, I have to say yes. I gave him some numbers that he could reach out to, but I would like to be around the girl for a little longer just so I can give him some ideas."

Ben nodded. There was just so much going on beneath the surface of what he thought he knew about Elena. As the time was passing by, he found out more and more about her. How did she deal with all those secrets and responsibilities in addition to her own problems?

He stopped for a moment and thought... She probably used all the problems around her to ignore her own. It didn't sound too healthy.

"Would you like to go to their party then?"

"I suppose, some sacrifices have to be made," she concluded as she pulled out the card that Alonzo had given her. She texted him a quick message and they waited for his response. They didn't have to wait too long because it seemed like the man had been waiting for her to reach out to him.

Ben scowled.

"Alright. I have the address." 

They paid for their food, got their stuff and headed back out to the front to the car.

.

They drove through town until they reach the road they had to turn on to. 

"Wow. These are some really nice houses." Ben commented with a whistle as they drove up the winding road that oversaw the water below. Elena glanced out the window, staring at the waves crashing below, illuminated by the moon. She sure hoped Ben knew how to drive in the dark and through the curvy roads because she sure as hell didn't feel like crashing into the rocks below.

"He mentioned that their house was one near the top, so I guess we have to go up higher?" She pointed to the road that curved around to the right and led to the top of the hill where about twenty or so houses were located. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say that is their house at the top." She pointed at the last house on top of the hill which was set aglow with whatever lights they had decorated with. 

"Alright." Ben led his car slowly up the winding road, observing the small houses on the way and commenting about how he'd love to own one of those houses.

"It's a nice place," Elena started, "I don't know how I'd feel about living so close to the ocean, though. Have you seen the amount of 'Tsunami Zone' signs in this place?"

"But it's on a hill." Ben chuckled.

"Nah. I'm good." She squinted her eyes as she tried to read the numbers on the front of the houses. "12... 80...90... Oh, this is the one!" She patted Ben on the arm and pointed to the house-- a white house with a blue double door and wide windows. They could hear music coming from the backyard.

Spanish music.

"Sounds like a party. Roxana wasn't kidding," Ben replied with a grin. Turning to Elena he studied her for a moment.

"What?"

"Are you sure you're okay with being here?"

"Possibly not, but if I don't try to get out there, I'm going to continuously be stuck in an anxiety rut. I don't like it. So, yes, in a way, I'm okay with being here," she told him.  It was her turn to study him. She finally squinted her eyes at him. "Are you sure you're okay with being here? If I'm not mistaken, I'd say you don't like Alonzo much."

Ben scowled. "Because he was all over you earlier."

"Shouldn't be any of your business." Elena shot back.

"He didn't even know you."

"He didn't try anything weird."

"He was trying to hit on you," Ben grumbled and Elena raised her eyebrows at him. Then let out a short laugh.

"B-Ben, so what if he was trying to hit on me?" she asked as she stared back. Ben huffed and turned to look straight ahead. "Dr...Ben, you have Sherry. You and I...are coworkers. I appreciate your help with my anxiety and panic attacks. I really do. But... I'm not comprehending some of your actions."

"Yeah, I know. Neither do I."

Elena sighed, gave Ben's arm a squeeze and turned back to looking at her phone. 

"Why are we here anyways?" she asked aloud, causing Ben to look over at her.

"What do you mean? I thought you said you were okay with coming he-"

"I mean, travelling together? We literally work together and I don't... That's what I'm wondering." 

Ben shrugged. "I'm not sure. I wanted a break. You needed a break."

Actually, if he was honest with himself, he was intrigued by the redhead. She was different, and it was so weird that she didn't have to dress up extravagantly or try hard to catch his attention. It was the opposite-- she tried to hide away and be invisible. She worked efficiently, without fuss, and wasn't into gossip at work. 

She was also a mystery, so full of secrets that he wanted to find out what they were. She was kind and sarcastic and emotionally fragile.

"I guess. Just so you know, I'm still going to be acting like a depressed little turd when we go back home," she mused and Ben laughed. 

"Alrighty then," he laughed. He smiled at her and then sighed. "Okay, let's get this show on the road," he stated with a clap of his hands.

.

"Sherry?...Sherry. Sherry Lynn!"

"Ah! Yes?"

Sherry turned to her grandmother who was eyeing her suspiciously.

"Sherry, this is the third time since you hung up that phone that I've caught you with your head in the clouds? Boyfriend? Trouble in paradise?"

Sherry sighed. She smiled at her grandma, Mama Ada, possibly the only person who actually cared for her in this world. She was in her seventies, had white hair that she had styled into curls around her hair and glasses. Her vibrant blue eyes twinkled from behind her glasses. She kind of reminded Sherry of Betty White, with the sass and a little in her physical appearance.

Sherry leaned over and placed her arm around Ada, earning herself a raised eyebrow.

"So, who is this man that's got you all in a frazzle?"

"It's no one, Mama. Just a phone call." Sherry responded as she rested her head on Ada's shoulder. 

"Uh huh. Girl, I've been alive for seventy-five years, fifty of which I was married. I think I am able to tell what boy trouble looks like."

"Well," Sherry thought for a moment. She and Ben weren't technically boyfriend and girlfriend.She wasn't about to tell her grandmother that she was having a casual fling with an older man. Mama Ada would already be throwing a fit if she realized she was having casual sex....Outside of marriage. She was a little conservative... "He's not my boyfriend, per say."

"Is he cute?"

"He's..." Sherry thought about Ben's blond hair, his sparkling green eyes. He had a smile that just attracted people like flies to honey. "Extremely attractive. Very handsome, actually."

Mama Ada raised an eyebrow at her. "You haven't used handsome since you were twelve and thought Alan Rickman was handsome."

"Yeah, and you told me I was crazy." Sherry pouted. "But no, Benjamin-- that's his name-- is a very handsome man. He's got blond hair, green eyes, and a smile to die for."

"Sounds dreamy." Ada agreed. She handed Sherry some dishes to dry. "Now what's the problem?"

"Problem? There's no problem."

"Judging by the pout you had and the confused look on your face,  I'd say there is." Ada could easily tell the symptoms of a crush. "I can tell that you really like this man, but does he not like you? Is that the problem?"

Sherry pouted, dropping her gaze to the dish in her hands. "I do like him, but you're right. I don't know how he feels about me. He's... in Fort Bragg right now. I thought alone, but he said that he's with a friend."

"Friend as in...?"

"One of his nurses." Sherry mumbled, looking up at Ada. “I think he's in love with her."