Lizzy

Several weeks later, Kattie and I were walking hand in hand down the main street of the small town that we resided. The sun was shining on my scrunched curls, warming my neck. I pondered on how I adored life at this point in time, and the fact that Kattie was basically living with me now that Darcy was gone, was improving it by the day. We spent almost every day together, and the sex was endless. My feelings for her were growing immensely. We wandered down what we liked to call, ‘our’ street, and landed on ‘Three Monkeys Cafe’ for a late breakfast. A subtle breeze added a nice contrast to the sunny weather. We talked and ate by a window seat that exposed the outdoor weather, and a beautiful arrangement of indoor plants.

After breakfast, we headed to the beach, which was in close proximity to where we ate. There was a carnival at one section of the long stretch; the shrieks of happy people on rides and the generic carnival music made it seem like an even happier occasion. The music, the food, the rides, the sun, the people... I began to have faint memories of being a child, my dad buying me fairy floss, and my mum laughing and running her hand through my blonde ringlets. The nostalgia surprised me, though added to the contentment I was feeling within my relationship. This is where I wanted to be, where I wanted to stay forever.

We rode the rides, wind blowing in our hair as we were catapulted into the air and back down again, spinning around in circles. We ate the fairy floss, in all its sugary goodness. It stuck to everything that it came into contact with,. Kattie got some in her hair and we were in fits of laughter when it wouldn't come out. It was the best day I had experienced in years, and I really didn’t want it to end. But like everything good, it did.


WHEN I ARRIVED AT WORK THE NEXT DAY, everyone greeted me. Aaron was most excited to have his coffee buddy back after a few days’ absence, that I had taken to get my affairs in order once Darcy had left. I gave him a hug and got my apron, wrapping it around my waist and securing it into a bow. The day moved fast with many orders and clean ups to be done, and during the last few hours of my shift, Kattie walked into the café.

“Hey, babe. Need to talk to you about something.” she said, as she stood there fidgeting. Her mannerisms made me nervous, though, she had a grin on her face which slightly eased my mind.

“Sure. I get off at six.” I looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“You don’t have a break?” She urged.

“I already took them both,” I said regretfully.

“I'll see you at home, then?” she said, looking for confirmation.

“I’ll see you then,” I replied, wondering what she could be so excited about.

I smiled at her and continued on my way to the coffee machine... “How can I help you?” I lifted my head to see my customer. Thomas from the tattoo parlor was looking me dead in the eye. His deep-blue steel eyes were magnificent. They looked as if someone had captured the ocean and bottled it up into iris's.

“I’ll have a double-shot cap, please.” he said casually, not taking his eyes off of me.

“Sure. Did you see Kattie outside?” I asked, a slight hint of jealousy escaping my lips.

“Yeah, we chilled for a few minutes before I came in. I think we are hanging out once I grab my coffee.” His words sent a dagger of pain into my chest.

I suddenly felt sick, jealous, and everything in between. “You are?”

“Yeah, we just made plans.” He replied, “So I will just get my coffee and go,” he said, urging me to hurry up and make it.

Hoping not to sound like I cared, I just kept it simple. “I'll get that coffee for you, if you just want to take a seat, while I make it.” I smiled at him through gritted teeth, knowing I wasn’t fooling anyone, trying to act casual.

“Ok, then.” I watched him walk away. I tried not to let my insecurities get the better of me. “He was hot, she was hot,” my thoughts continued to taunt me. They were hanging out alone and obviously had some sort of connection, as I witnessed with my own eyes at the tattoo parlour.

“Here’s your coffee, Thomas.” I said, handing it to him moments later. “Tell Kattie I said hey.” I said, hoping she would get the message that I knew exactly what she was up to.

“Thanks, man, will do.” He flashed me his lopsided grin and walked out the door. He was greeted by Kattie who smiled at him adoringly as he hung his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him.

What the fuck am I meant to think about that? I pulled my phone out of my back pocket, furiously as I texted her...

“Hey, how come you're hanging out with Thomas? I have nothing to worry about, right? See you tonight x”

THE END OF MY SHIFT came around quickly due to the busyness of the café. I checked my phone, to no reply. My anxiety skyrocketed.

When I got home, Kattie was sitting at the table waiting for me. That’s right, her big news. I thought, letting my feelings about Thomas sit to the side, for the time being.

“Hey, Lizzy.” Kattie looked at me. There was something different about her, and the fact that she used my name instead of ‘babe’ urged me that something was wrong. The memory of her and Thomas crossed my mind and I grimaced.

“So, what's your big news?” I pushed her for an answer, a hint of annoyance coming through in my voice.

“I'd rather tell you over dinner.” She said, twiddling her thumbs.

“Okay…” I responded, now expecting the worst. People always broke up over dinner, or got bad news. I suppose it helped soften the blow.

“Don’t be worried. It's good news.” She said as she kissed me softly on the lips. I could tell she was sensing my unease. I wasn’t trying very hard to hide it. I grabbed my jacket off the back of the kitchen chair, following her lead out the door.

As soon as we entered the eatery she blurted out, “I got a DJ gig in Brazil. My manager, Franco, hooked it up. I was going to wait until dinner to tell you, but I couldn’t.”

Agh, she was leaving me, just not in the way I had expected, and she didn’t even wait until I had a plate of food in front of me to do it. “How long are you going for?” I asked, trying to process the news. I didn’t even know she was that serious about dj’ing. Sure she had mentioned it once or twice, but not that she had an agent, or did it as anything more than a hobby...

“Three months.” She said excitedly.

“Three months” I repeated slowly, still trying to process the information, I was being fed. “A lot can change in three months, Kattie.” I continued.

“But it won't! I'll make sure of it. We can talk by email, text, and Skype...” Her attempt to reassure me didn't really help.

“Skype isn’t the same as being together… it's not the same at all.” my heart was shattering, one piece at a time.

“This is a huge opportunity for me. Franco worked so hard to get me this deal.” She looked a little hurt at my lack of enthusiasm.

“And I understand that. I’m happy for you, I really am. I just think it's going to be hard, that's all.”

“It will be. Three months is a long time, but trust me. We will make it work.”

Dinner was awkward after she explained all the details of the trip. Could a new relationship really last three months apart?.The rest of the evening was spent in silence. Did she really expect me to be okay with this?. I narrowed it down to one of two options that I had... distance myself before I got even more hurt, or actually try to make this work over the internet. I had to really reflect on this alone before it came time for her to leave.

“What are you thinking about?” She interrupted my thoughts.

“Nothing, really.” I said, trying to hide my debating. Though, the way she looked at me, showed that she really did know what I was thinking and she was concerned about the outcome.

“I think I'll head off,” She suddenly stood and started walking toward the door.

“Why?” I followed her.

“Because you obviously don’t want to make this work” she said, her voice shaking, as if holding back tears.

I didn’t respond. Because if I had, I was afraid of what might come out.

THAT NIGHT WAS A CONSTANT BATTLE with my thoughts. Which way should I go? Forget about her, or make it work? I finally fell asleep due to exhaustion and overthinking.

When I awoke, I realized the countdown was now down to two days until Kattie was due to leave. I needed to figure out what I was going to do, and time was not on my side.

I was stewed over pancakes and orange juice, pondering my situation. I really needed to make it work. I had strong feelings for her, but I'd never really had a long-distance mantality. It was only three months. I took my thoughts to the shower, because they say that’s where you make life decisions.

When the shower gave no advice, I got out and pulled up my jeans with one hand, dialing Kattie’s number into my phone with the other. Who was I to not give it a go. It wasn’t like I had any other prospectus… “Hey, baby,” I spoke when she answered, “I’m on board. Let’s do this.”

She sighed into the phone, “Agh, finally. I thought you had given up on me all together. It will be great, we can email, and Skype, and I promise, we will talk on the phone every day.” She paused, “What changed your mind?”

“I just decided that I want this relationship to last. I want you in my life, so I’m willing to give the distance a try.” I babbled.

“Well, you know what I think?”, “I think you should come over right now.” She teased.

“Oh really? Maybe, I'll be there soon.” I hung up the phone, making my way to the door in a timely manner.

The whole car ride there, her words were getting to me. Was I making the right choice?

Reaching her house, I made a quick attempt at parking and walked fast to the door where she was waiting. The anticipation rose as she slipped her hand into mine. I remained the same eye level as her as I pressed my lips against hers. In turn, she slipped her other hand ever so gently under my white t-shirt, gripping my skin between her fingers. I grabbed her hips and pulled her to me, lifting her legs and wrapping them around my middle. Carrying her up to the shower, I kissed her the whole way, only letting her down to spin her toward me, quicker than she could catch her breath. I lifted her shirt over her head, following with mine, and everything else that stopped our bodies from being naked. Breathing heavily and kissing her mouth as we stepped into the shower, she looked away for a split second to turn on the water and suddenly we were surrounded by steam as water washed down our bodies.

THE NEXT MORNING, I woke up to a buzzing noise. As I looked around, I saw Kattie's phone light up. I nudged her to wake up and she moaned in response.

“What?” she asked tiredly.

“Your phone’s ringing.” I rolled over to go back to sleep as she picked it up. Though, I couldn’t sleep through the words that were spoken.

“Today is a bit soon of notice, don’t you think? I thought I had a few more days...”

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, listening for more information. When she finally looked at me, sadness filled her eyes.

“I have to leave early.” She finally said, putting down her phone.

“How early?” I breathed.

“Today. Now, actually. Franco is picking me up in an hour.” She got up to collect her things, pulling out a suitcase from her top cupboard and throwing items in it.

I looked at her in disbelief. “What? I thought you had more time!”

“Yeah, so did I.” She looked at me, as if trying to ask for forgiveness.

“I don’t know what to do or say right now,” I said in despair.

“Well, you can help me pack and see me off,” she said, almost awkwardly, which made me a bit sad that she didn’t seem, well, more devastated.

As I sat there watching her shower and pack, my feelings grew more morose. Thoughts of her getting over me while she was away, or cheating, or worse, breaking up with me, were too hard to bear. And that wasn’t even the worst part. The missing her part was going to be almost unbearable. Even the thought of it brought me to tears.

AS THE TIME CAME TO SAY GOODBYE, I followed her outside, eyeing off Franco, who was standing in her driveway in front of a limo. I glared at him, hoping he knew how much heartbreak he had brought into my life. I hated him. I hated everything about him. His short, stocky figure, his fat, grumbling stomach, his pedophile mustache, his bald head. But what I hated about him the most, was that he was taking away the love of my life.

Kattie embraced me and I felt her tears streaming down my cheek. “I really have to go. I'm about to miss my plane.” She kissed me quickly, scooping up my middle with her arm, and then letting go, leaving me standing there.

I watched as they drove away, my eyes filling with tears. As the tears fell, I stood there, holding one arm with the other, and then letting them both fall as I fell into a sobbing heap on the driveway. After what seemed like hours, I went home and spent the rest of my afternoon crying, waiting for an email or a text from her. And as nothing came, my heart sank deeper and deeper. Yet, this time, I didn’t even have Darcy to cheer me up.