Triggering Warning - References fat phobia. Hints towards an eating disorder.

Jeremy

We made up and I'm happy.

So

So

Happy

I told my therapist about him. I went into detail on how we met and where we are now. She said that she'd never seen me talk so amicably about anyone besides my family. I couldn't even disagree. She warned me to be cautious with my emotions.

"Building bonds with new people are a beautiful thing, Jeremy. Remember, that you are on a road to recovery. I don't want you to depend on Donovan for happiness. I can see an obvious change in you. I'm just a little nervous because what if he goes away. Where will your happiness come from?"

Just like that, my cheery mood dimmed. She was right. I just couldn't help it. Every time I see him, everything becomes brighter. He's my own personal sunshine. Something about his smile and presence makes me feel good. My daydream was cut short by a slight push to my ribs.

"What are you going to do about your Biology grade?"

We were in our usual spot, sitting on a bench, trying to pass the time.We had a free period from Biology because Mr. Williams wasn't here. I wasn't complaining though. I hated the class; subject and people.

I failed every test so far. I even got a thirty out of one hundred. My parents weren't proud of my last report and they probably won't be proud of my upcoming either.

"I'll take the fail." I shrugged. My brain just stops working during Biology tests. I couldn't do Physics and I sure as hell wasn't able to understand Chemistry. Which is why I chose History and Geography.

Donovan seems to be good at everything. While I struggled to pass.

"No way! What's wrong with you? Exams are in four months. We have time. Do you want me to tutor you? I can even give you my notes," he insisted. He pulled out one of his many folders and handed me a green one that had the words "Biology" written across.

"I feel like I'm using you."

"Never. I want to do this. It'll be fun. So you can take my folder home and maybe make some photocopies and look over the notes."

"So you aren't tutoring me?"

"Oh, you want me to tutor you that badly?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I will and Don't worry, you can pay me."

"Okay, that's a good idea."

He burst out laughing. "I'm kidding. I could never charge you."

"What if I pay you in food?"

"No way. You would buy me junk. I'm still watching my figure." My eyes instantly flew to his petit body. I was very much confused.

"Watching your figure? You're skinnier than me and I'm a bag of bones."

He scoffed. "Why would you call yourself a bag of bones. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong. It was a stupid joke."

He nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, a very stupid joke. Never make fun of your body."

"But... how can you say that when you're always saying you need to lose weight when you're not even fat," I argued.

"I am. I have a big tummy."

"Come on Donovan. You're not being serious right?"

I instantly grew concerned. He always makes comments about eating healthy and watching his weight, I just never took it seriously. I hope he doesn't have a problem.

"I was a fat kid. Got bullied for it. I don't wanna gain anymore weight. I don't want to give people another reason to attack me. So, I'm healthy now."

The pout on his face was extremely cute and it nearly overshadowed his troubling words.

"A person's weight shouldn't be something used to attack them. Even if you gain some weight, I'll still like you and care about you. Regardless of what you look like, people shouldn't call you names. I wish I knew you back then. I'd beat everyone up for you."

"My hero?" He snorted at me. "You really should stop resorting to violence."

"I know I should, but some people need to get beat up."

"Maybe you're right." He shrugged his shoulders and started to pack up his bag. He suddenly stopped and glanced at something behind of me. "Your friends are coming over," He muttered as he slipped his headphones in.

Friends?

Jason, Brianna and Lisa came over to our bench. Jason and Lisa sat at the opposite of Donovan and I as Brianna stood beside me.

"What's up?" I asked. I was very confused by their presence and I'm not sure if I wanted Brianna near me.

"We just came to say hi." Brianna said and I instantly got annoyed. I definitely didn't want her presence near me. I looked at Donovan from the side and noticed he really had stuck headphones in his ears.

He really wasn't interested in talking to them... or me.

"So, about the festival. Are you in?" Jason asked and I saw Brianna perk up. I just didn't understand. "We want to buy the tickets as soon as possible."

"Sorry, I don't wanna go. I'm not interested." I was interested. I think. I just didn't want to go with them.

"There are some really cool artists though."

I wasn't sure if Jason genuinely wanted me to come or if he just wanted me to take Brianna off his hands. The idea that I'm not sure where he stands, bothered me.

"Sorry," I shrugged. I pulled out a pack of Oreos from my bag, opened it and nudged Donovan.

"Here."

He hastily pulled out his earplugs and offered me a smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

I couldn't help but smile in his direction. I turned my attention back to Jason and he, Lily and Brianna were watching me with unreadable expressions.

"So, um Donovan right. We have Chemistry together. How are you liking the school?" Brianna asked and moved closer to him.

"It's fine."

Donovan did not look happy with Brianna.

"So, are you like gay?" She asked and I instantly got angry. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but I stopped myself. Donovan isn't a damsel in distress. He's a person that's working on his confidence and he can fight his own battles.

"Are you gay?" He shot back.

"I'm obviously not, since I've been trying to get Jeremy to date me,"she immediately replied and glanced at me. "Why bother ask?"

"Wow, you answered your own question. Why bother ask? I don't see why my sexuality should be relevant to you. We aren't friends. I don't even get why you're talking to me. Your question was rude and insensitive and it's disappointing that you're the head girl when you're so ignorant."

Well.

I definitely wouldn't have handled it like this. I would've probably threatened her. Donovan's a lot more classier than I am. My parents must be proud.

I've just realized that I don't deal with conflict well.

"I don't understand why you feel like you can talk to me however you want. Know your place," she moved closer to him, getting into his personal space. My senses instantly heightened.

What the hell was she thinking?

Lisa and Jason started to stand up, trying to get between them. Donovan didn't get up.

"I know my place. I think you need to be reminded that you're just like us. Get off your high horse and face reality. When we graduate in June, nobody is going to remember you." He stayed calm while he said it, but his fingers trembled while he gripped the table of the bench.

"You little freak." She moved towards him and I quickly got up and stood between her and Donovan. A few students started to pay attention to the commotion. People loved drama. Including me. It was all fun and games, until you're the one involved.

"If you touch him, we're going to have a problem." I watched her straight in her face, unmoving.

"How can you defend him?! He was rude to me," she started to cry and it really amazed me. She started everything, yet she was so quick to play the victim.

"Let's go Brianna. That's enough." Lisa held her by her shoulder and started shoving her away. She offered me an apologetic look. Jason on the other hand looked annoyed.

"I don't know why Lisa's friends with her," he muttered to me. "She problematic. I'll catch you later Jeremy."

Jason grumpily followed them. I sat back down next to Donovan. He burst out laughing.

"Sorry, if I don't laugh, I might end up crying. I feel very attacked right now. First Joe, then those girls in biology and now Brianna. Is something wrong with me? Do I look like a punching back? I'm so tired."

He broke the Oreos into pieces and threw them on the floor. He tightened his fist and frowned. I didn't enjoy seeing him angry. He was supposed to be my sunshine.

"Sorry, I know the Oreo cost money. I'm just really angry."

"Um, do you want to go?"

His eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "Go where?"

"I mean, do you want to leave? As in skip school? Dad gave me the car for the day." I pulled the key out of my pocket and dangled it before his eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous. We can't just leave... right?"

"We only have two more classes. I obviously don't care about school—"

"Which you should!"

"—So lets go! We can go to the beach and then I can get you ice cream. You'll feel so much better," I added with a grin.

"Jeremy, we can't just leave. You're being a bad influence on me."

His actions contradicted his words. He had already put on his bag and started looking around.

"If I get in trouble, what do I say?"

"I'll take the blame."

"How are we going to leave though? We can go past the security."

I fixed my bag on my back. "We're going to jump the fence at the back of the school. It's going to be fun!"