Kiss Me

Part Fourteen

Walker

"You’re cute in the mornings," I said, licking milk foam off my upper lip. Marcus looked up to meet my eyes, raising an eyebrow. "What?" I grinned. "You are. You’re only half-awake. It’s adorable."

"Adorable," he repeated, rolling the word around in his mouth to try it on for size. "You’re the only person who’s called me that since like… ever, I guess."

"Shame," I said, sipping my coffee again. I'd taken him to a bakery I'd seen when we first drove through here days ago. It was warm, and cozy, and the table was small enough that we couldn’t help our feet being tangled together under it. The lace curtains were what really made the place. Well, the lace curtains and the hot, fresh, sugary donuts I was determined to fatten him up on. I’d finally figured out that I liked watching him eat, and I wasn’t afraid to make the most of it, breaking his donut off in delicate bite-sized pieces to draw it out for me.

He’d done a lot for me, this was the least I could do in exchange. Besides, I liked the way he looked at me. No one had ever looked at me like he did. "Oh, hey," I said between coffee sips, interrupting the glazed look on Marcus’s face. I was literally moments away from drooling, that I had to say something or I'd look like a knob. "I thought your other friends were coming yesterday?"

"Oh, right...yeah, but apparently they got caught up in the heavy snowfall and turned back. So they won't be attending the wedding."

"Shame. That Matt guy sounds like a real character."

Marcus only half smiled. "He is. I've known him for some years. We worked at the same restaurant. He's...big headed and loud."

"A lot like me then?" I said pointing a finger to my chest.

"Maybe a little, but you're less annoying."

"I like that compliment, thank you," Marcus chuckled, licking crumbs and sugar off his perfect lips, flushed and glossy from the sugar and jam. I hoped he liked those donuts, because I was tempted to bring him one every morning now. "I just hope your family...well, you know. Won't cause any trouble."

Marcus looked down at his coffee, turning the cup in his hands. "Mom hasn't said anything else, about us. To anyone else. That's what Lily said anyway." I might’ve taken that as a good sign. With Marcus’s mom, like with cats and toddlers, silence meant trouble, I guess or that's what it's like with most people. I didn’t have to know her as well as Marcus did to know what he was worried about. She was a tinderbox, and I was a lit fuse. Thing was, I didn’t mind fireworks on my end. I could handle anything, brush it off. No one could touch me anymore. But Marcus was different. He was the human equivalent of a turtle that’d been flipped onto its back by the side of the road. Vulnerable and not in a position to protect himself.

"I can slip away quietly," I offered. It was the last thing I wanted, especially since I was so sure Marcus was testing the waters of his own emotions and feelings, and I didn’t want him to fall back into the rock he was. He was right on the edge of something important, and abandoning him didn’t seem like it’d help. But if it was too much stress for him to handle, I didn’t want to make things worse by staying. If I left now, he could explain it away as me being an asshole and just travelling this far with him so I could head on to a tattoo convention or something. It wasn’t as if any of them would check.

"I don’t want you to go," he said, so soft it was barely more than a breath. "You’re the only sane person here," he added, louder.

I laughed at that. "The guy covered in tattoos is the only sane one?"

"Darryl might qualify as sane," Marcus allowed. "I don’t know him all that well, not really. But mom likes him, but I’m not sure he likes her."

"He does actually seem okay. He’s not… like, I wouldn’t intentionally hang out with him, but he does seem like an okay guy. And he loves your sister."

"He does," Marcus agreed. "Inexplicably."

I laughed again, draining the last of my coffee. "Don’t be mean to your sister," I said. "She’s only got the one older brother. You’ve gotta take care of her."

"I’m the only person who’s allowed to be mean to my sister," he said. "Sibling privilege." I went to say something else, nothing important, just whatever would keep the conversation flowing, when Marcus’s phone vibrated loudly on the table. So I moved the plates out of the way while he was handling whatever it was, the warm glow of just being with him sinking into the depths of my soul. Damn he felt good. If I wasn’t leaving, I wanted him to walk away from this wedding knowing a little more about himself. Marcus deserved to be happy, and comfortable in his own skin, and free. Not the trapped guy who dealt in only pain. "Sorry," he said, hanging up his call. "That was Lily. We need to go back."

"Urgently?" I question.

"No, maybe….its my dad."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, Lily said he wanted to see me. I'm not sure why now he wants to."

"Maybe it's a good thing?" I said, trying to calm him.

"It probably isn't, but I'll do it anyway."

I nodded. "Alright, lets go." And we both left the warmth of the cafe and headed out into the bitter winter air. Marcus looked lost, but I thought maybe he needed this. And I'd be at his side while he did it.

Kiss Me

Marcus had agreed to meet with his father at the hotel's restaurant, but I suspected it was the fact Lily's wedding was fast approaching and Marcus had finally decided it was time to let his dad have his say. As the minutes ticked by, Marcus became more and more restless. I shifted my chair so I was sitting even closer to him and transferred his hand to mine. Then I used my free hand to tuck his hair behind his ear as I pressed my head against his.

"It’ll be okay, Marcus." He nodded. As soon as I’d curled my fingers around his, he’d automatically eased his hold. I wasn’t sure how long we sat like that for, but I knew when Edward finally arrived because Marcus tensed up again. I forced myself to straighten. Edward looked as nervous as his son. We’d expected him to bring Marcus's mom, but there was no sign of her as he approached us.

"Hello, son," Edward said as he stopped at the table. Marcus managed a nod, but nothing else. He didn’t get up to shake his father’s hand, and fortunately, Edward didn’t seem to be expecting him to. "Can I get you two some coffee?" Edward asked as he motioned to our nearly empty mugs.

"No, I think we’re fine," I said when Marcus didn’t say anything. Edward nodded and sat down. He immediately tucked his hands in his lap, leading me to wonder if he hadn’t gotten himself a cup of coffee for the simple reason that it would prove his hands were shaking as badly as his son’s.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, alone," Marcus’s leg was once again bouncing beneath the table, so I pressed my thigh against his. I didn’t care how it looked that we were sitting so close. I knew it was what he needed. Marcus’s fingers bit into my skin. At some point, he’d moved our hands to the top of the table. Edward’s eyes drifted to our joined hands, and I had no doubt he could see that his son’s knuckles were practically bloodless from how hard he was squeezing my hand. "Marcus," he suddenly whispered brokenly. "All I seem to do is hurt you, always hurt you when I had no reason too," The man’s eyes were fixed on our hands for the longest time before he lifted them and looked right at Marcus. I could see they were swimming with tears. "I’m so sorry, son," he croaked. "For all of it. That night…." he managed to get out. "I just… I just wanted to tell you that I didn’t believe what I said, you're not disgusting. And none of it was your fault. It was never your fault, none of it was, even with your mother," Edward paused. "I divorced her, a year ago. I'm here for Lily, to keep up appearances." Marcus sucked in a harsh breath and then he was frantically looking anywhere but at his father. I knew he was trying to get control of himself. Or plan his escape. "I should… I should go," Edward said as he dashed at his eyes. His voice was filled with despair as he rasped, "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…" The man shook his head and made a move to stand.

"Wait," Marcus whispered, his voice so low I barely heard him. Edward was halfway to his feet when he stilled. He seemed to be stuck in the position until Marcus once again said, "Wait." I gave his hand a gentle squeeze and then he was looking at me. His eyes were filled with a mix of confusion and fear. He kept swallowing over and over. As badly as I wanted to take all this away so he wouldn’t have to suffer even another second, I knew the decision he was struggling with was one only he could make. So I did the only thing I could and pulled his fingers up to my lips and pressed a gentle kiss against them. The move seemed to ease a little bit of his tension because he drew in a deep breath. Then another. At some point, Edward had sat back down.

"It’s my fault," Marcus gasped. "I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry." I covered my mouth with my free hand as the same two words began to pour unchecked from his lips. I was about to pull him into my arms when I heard the chair across from us scrape back hard and fast and then his father was at his side. He pulled Marcus to his feet and wrapped his arms around his son and he went without a fight.

"It’s not your fault," Edward said, his voice surprisingly firm. "Never ever was it ever your fault…" He said it every time Marcus said he was sorry and continued long after Marcus finally fell silent and just cried softly, his face buried in his father’s neck. When he finally stopped saying the words, it was only to tell Marcus he loved him and that everything would be okay and not to worry about his mom or other family members.

I had no clue how long they stood there like that for, and I didn’t care. Nor did I care that the few patrons or even family members in the restaurant were sending covert glances our way every now and then. All I cared about was that when Marcus’s soft sobs slowed, then stopped altogether, he still didn’t let go of his father. And his father didn’t let go of him, either. They needed this. Needed each other. For long years they've done nothing but blame themselves for whatever reasons I don't know of yet. So I sat and watched as they reconnected and I smiled, because I've just seen a glimpse into the real Marcus. And I fell in love all over again.