Poday, Baugust 7 - Birbladd’s Books And Misc. Store

Vegetal walked into the store. He wasn’t sure why exactly he chose this shop to go to, but it just looked right. It was an interesting story. Random old antique decor, mostly made out of wood. This place could burn down in a matter of minutes.

Good.

Vegetal turned to inspect the many bookshelves that lined the store. They had a variety of titles, such as “Book,” “Game-n for dum,” and the most peculiar one, "h".

Interesting store. It would be a pleasure to burn down, wouldn’t it...

“Hello, can I help you, my good sir?” said a voice from behind him. Vegetal turned around to see who was talking to him. A tall, overshadowing figure stood behind a wooden information desk. He held up a friendly hand. He had on what seemed to be plague doctor mask, with a black buttoned up shirt. He had on a wide-brimmed hat.

“Oh, hey there, how’re you doing?” Vegetal said nonchalantly. He turned back to inspect more books.

“Oh. I’m doing quite well, honestly. It’s been a rough couple of days.”

“Oh really? What happened?”

“Business’s been down. I have a random suspicion it’s because of the name. I can’t afford to rebrand the store, so I guess it’ll have to wait.”

“Are you Birbladd?”

“Yup! That’s me. I bought this store about 50 years ago, and have been running it since.”

“Wait, 50 years? You don’t sound a day over 20.”

“Ahhh, thank you my good fellow,” said Birbladd, modestly bringing his gloved hand to his heart. “Quite kind of you.”

“Wait. Hold on. So how old are you?” said Vegetal, now getting confused.

“Um, let’s see here,” Birbladd fumbles around, counting his fingers. “541.”

“What the hell?” said Vegetal, backing away and stumbling into the bookshelf. “Are you insane? How are you that old?”

“Is that… not a usual age? Hm. Well, carry on then.” Birbladd twisted his hands in a very peculiar fashion and the floor underneath Vegetal gave way. He looked down below, and saw the same floor that he just fell into. Before he knew it, he landed back on the same exact spot in the same place.

“Dude, what the actual hell was that!?” Vegetal screamed.

“What? Did it not work on you? Do you not have a human body?” Birbladd questioned.

“No? Can you even see me? I’m a fucking compilation of vegitables in a glass jar with a mech body!”

“What?” Birbladd taped the side of his mask twice. His eyes start to glow white for a split second. “Oh my, what happened to you?”

“No wonder you said nothing when I walked in. People usually do. Can you even see? Are you retar?”

“No, no, my good fellow, I was simply-” started Birbladd, but was interrupted by Vegetal clanking out the door.

“I was wondering why the sphere was so low…” wisphered Birbladd to himself. “This world gets weirder with each generation...”