Kiss Me

Part Seventeen

Marcus

Lily had made it clear I was still invited to the wedding no matter what mom said and because it was cheaper than hiring someone to unfold and all these goddamn chairs for the reception venue. On the other hand, I’d seen her glowing at Darryl this morning and I wanted her to be happy. Someone should have been. Plus, Dad had been roped into this, too, and Walker hadn’t complained about being in charge of putting up the strings of twinkling lights around the walls, despite nearly dying on the first ladder he’d climbed this morning. He was a lot braver than I was, and I kept glancing at him out of the corner of my eye to make sure he was okay. I could only take one fall like that per year and we were right at the beginning of this one.

"This is starting to look kinda magical," Dad said, pausing beside me as I tucked the last chair under the table. "Still snowing out there."

"Yeah," I looked over at the window, confirming that the constant fall that’d been going since this morning was still at it. What else did anyone expect in January, though? "Guess it’s really a white wedding, huh?"

Dad chuckled. "Yeah, guess it is," he said. "Feels like ten minutes ago you were kids," he lowered his eyes. "I didn't do enough, I should have been chasing you about the snow as a kid, but…"

"Mom really got to you?"

"In many ways, son….in many many ways…."

"Well, you can chase me outside if you want. No guarantees I won’t collapse, but it could be fun for twenty or thirty seconds, even." I said, cutting in. I knew how sorry he was and how much he was trying to make up for the years of hurt.

"Walker might kill me if I do that to you." I raised an eyebrow. "What? I’ve seen the way he looks at you," Dad said. "You’ve got a good thing there, Marcus."

"Yeah," I uttered, and looked at Walker. "I have."

Dad looked at me, head tilted like a confused dog, but I was the one who felt like I’d missed something. "I did not hug you as a kid and I’m so sorry," he said. "You’re loveable. I love you, son."

I had to turn away, because the emotions had started to surface again. As much as mom hated the fact me and dad were catching up on so many lost years, he didn't relent and I was really enjoying this time with him. "It's okay." I whispered.

Dad didn’t say anything else, just wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. My lungs caught, a sudden wave of emotions welling up in my chest and making it hard to breathe. "Please don’t turn into your old man," he said. "For my sake. Be happy now," Over my dad’s shoulder, Walker beamed at me from halfway up a ladder on the other side of the room. "He’s smiling at you," Dad said as he pulled back. "Don't let go, ever." Dad clapped me on the shoulder and brushed past me to grab the box of tablecloths in the corner just as Walker finished up with the lights.

A moment later he switched them on, and the whole room sparkled, crystal chandeliers reflecting the light so it bounced off the walls, mimicking the snow outside. The lights twinkled slowly, blinking on and off so the walls and floor glittered with tiny spots of light. "Wow," I said, looking around at the half decorated room. This was beautiful. This was what Lily deserved.

"Think I did an okay job," Walker said, suddenly beside me. I’d been too distracted by the lights to see him move, but my heart did a little backflip when I saw him within touching distance.

"This looks incredible." I said, still in awe of what a difference a little lighting could make. This was a barn conversion, with high ceilings and what I supposed were charmingly rustic beams overhead, all of them with strings of delicate little lights wrapped around them.

Walker’s hard work. Hard work he’d done for no particular reason. Lily wasn’t his sister, after all. "Glad you like it," He smiled at me, the lights making his eyes sparkle. "Wanna test out the dance floor?"

I looked down at Walker’s offered hand, and my stomach dropped. "I don’t, umm. I have no idea how to…" Walker snorted, grabbed my hand, and dragged me into the middle of the room before I could figure out how to tell him that I didn’t know how to dance, it’d never come up before. I didn't even dance at my birthday party all that time ago at Vibe.

"My skills mostly involve keeping the table and watching purses. I’m not really the dancing type."

"Do you have a particular moral objection to dancing?" He asked. He was still holding my hand.

"No, but…"

"I’ll lead," he interrupted. "Unless you really don’t want to?"

"I…"

Walker let go of my hand, and he smiled at me, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "It’s okay. Sorry for pushing."

He was disappointed, and my stomach hurt. I didn’t want to disappoint him. Not after everything he’d done for me. "Wait," I said, reaching out for his hand. "Can’t be that bad, right?"

"Whole lot less of a big deal if you step on my toes," Walker said, quietly encouraging. He wouldn’t be mad at me if I sucked.

I pulled him right out into the centre of the floor, smiling shyly once we got there. "Be gentle with me," I said. 'It’s my first time." He laughed, eyes sparkling, joy rolling off him. I knew how lucky I was to have his attention, and this just reminded me all over again that I do love him. "Where do my hands go?' I asked, feeling like an awkward idiot.

"Here. One hand on my shoulder and I'll hold your other one. Then this hand will hold your waist." He said and pulled me against him.

"Like this?" I said and leaned into him.

"Have I ever mentioned that you smell great?" He asked. "Because you really do smell great."

"Thanks." I chewed on my lower lip, the tips of my ears tingling with heat.

"Relax," he murmured. "Pretend like you like touching me and you’re comfortable with both of our bodies."

"I am," I said. I’d never been more comfortable with anyone than I was with Walker. I couldn’t stop thinking about being with him. About how good it felt, about how good I felt after. He didn’t make me feel used, he took pleasure in my pleasure. I’d never had sex like we’d been having the past few days before. But he was right, I was holding myself like I was afraid to move. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to relax, loosening my death grip on his shoulder, letting my thumb just barely rest on him, stroking the fabric of his sweater.

Walker gripped my waist a little tighter in response, and I was starting to see the appeal of this whole dancing thing. Just as I had the thought, a slow song came on through the venue speakers. "Just testing the sound system," Dad called from the stage, barely holding back a broad grin. "You two keep being cute." Now I was really blushing.

"Stand by me. What a perfect song." He said as his lips brushed my ear, sending spikes of heat through me. "We’re so cute," he said, stepping sideways. "Just follow my feet. Trust me." The thing was, I did trust him. He’d never given me any reason not to, not once. I trusted every word that came out of his mouth. I trusted every touch. I trusted his heart.

I felt safe with Walker. I’d never thought about that as something I was looking for in a partner, none of them had ever felt like a threat before, because I was the threat, but there was something comforting about knowing that I could trip over my own feet right now and land us both on the floor and he would just laugh it off. He didn’t care that I wasn’t perfect. I didn’t have to work so hard to pretend I was around him. "Having fun yet?" He asked, voice low and soft, and I realized then that I’d been…following. Like it was nothing. I laughed, surprised at myself as he twirled me under his arm and it just came naturally, like I’d done it a thousand times.

"Guess so." Walker’s eyes were glittering like a cut stone, reflecting the hundreds of tiny lights he’d strung up, and for a moment we were the only two people in the world. Everything else, the snow outside, Dad watching, going back to work next week, my life and all the things I was worried about fell away, and the only thing that mattered was that I was dancing with Walker, and we were both having fun.

"Wow!" I heard Lily's voice from behind us. "It's beautiful." We stopped dancing. Although I really didn't want to. But on the wedding night, I'm gonna dance my ass off with him. "Awww, you two," She said, and held a hand over her mouth as she walked towards us. "So perfect."

I smiled at her. "It is, Walker has done a great job with the lights."

"No," she said, eyes glittering. "You two. You're so perfect. I'm so happy," Lily pulled me in for a hug and I took a quick glance at Walker who was grinning. "You finally have someone. We both do," She whispers. God, my emotions were all over the place today. "I'm so proud of you Marcus. After everything. You've come so far and I've been able to be witness to your change."

"Well," I choked out. "I got to know my sister. I get to see you get married. I'm...proud of you too." We stood for a while just hugging. I've sat in the dark for so long, that all the warmth I've felt over this week I thought would be too much, but I've realized I can't seem to get enough of it now. With my sister, my dad and most of all….with Walker.