Weeks passed by and punishment was about to finished, my mood was still destroyed and my mind was on the moon but something that I was not able to get off of my head was Michael. I couldn’t understand why he left me in that way…I considered him my everything, however, I was obviously not his. Then, I understood that I am not able to move on that easily. Three months already passed but he was still on my mind. I attributed to be my first love and you know baby…the first love is unforgettable even if you try, you will always remember that bitch and that honey is a fact.
When I was finally able to get online, I tried to forget everything that happened to me but still I was thinking about him, I wanted to know if he was ok, if he ate, if he was feeling ok or just to know if he was not dating somebody else cause baby, I was not ready to lose that dick easily. So, I did what most of jealous girls do, I made another profile to spy him and baby… that shit opened my eyes. (PS: just because I did it does not mean that you have to, that is toxic behavior! Try to avoid it but honestly without toxicity where is the drama? Where is the life of the story right? So, be mindful).
When I created the other profile, I wanted it to be another boy obviously to get Michael’s attention you know like...duh it's obvious, so I created this new alter ego which we will name “Two”. Two was all the opposite of me, he was very masculine, straight forward and very conservative when needed but he was more sexual than me, basically a fuck boy. I added Michael and it didn’t take 30 minutes to accept my friends’ request. Now you can imagine how disappointed I was. Two got Michael’s attention from the very first time. Michael asked two how he looked, I honestly freaked out, I was not ready for something like that, I asked a friend of mine who was from Mexico if I could use his photos for that reason; he told me that he authorized me so I showed him his photos and Michael fell in love with in immediately, he said that he recently broke with someone but someone like him (my friend) was perfect for forgetting his ex (that was the eye opening moment for me). Two accepted Michael’s feelings since he presented himself with all his attributes and I mean it baby, with ALL his attributes...dick included.
When I realized that Michael was such a jerk everything that he was to me got burned immediately. I realized that love makes you blind and dumb. Days passed by and Michael’s love for two grew day by day, honestly I enjoyed being desired by him once again but I knew he was in love from another person not the real me…but baby I wasn’t ready for what would happen later.
One day, I decided to have a break from two and be One once again, that exact day I was replying all the messages that I had from my friends and suddenly Michael sent me a message which says:
“Can you tell me what the fuck is going on in your mind? I have been trying to reach you for some time… I know I did you wrong but let me explain everything:
After I told you that, the following day my favorite person on the world died who was my aunt, I was devastated and I know that blocking you was not the right thing to do but I wasn’t ready I´ve been talking with someone else…his name is two…he is cute…but sometimes I feel like.. I don’t know…I got bored easily, he is not like you, but I want him to be you. Being real with you, we are just boys, I don’t own anything to offer you but my dick and love. I would like to help you out with your homework even though you know I´m dumb hahaha, but I would like to…I would like to kiss you, hug you and fuck you the way I like…which I have to admit, I’ve been jerking off thinking about you all this time (now that baby, that’s true love hahahaha ok…maybe not but teenager’s love on my opinion is one of the strongest love ever) I missed you and I’m sorry for making you suffer all this time. I know that I fucked this but at least let me know if we are ok with one another…please.”
When I read all this I literally cried. I was so confused, happy and angry with him. I wasn’t ready for that. I couldn’t hold my feeling and I forget him (I know…I know...just don’t judge me too fast) I forget him under one condition. He needed to let me know if he really loved me or not or if he was writing that to feel better for what he did to me. (You see, I am not that dumb ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hahaha well …( ͡ಥ ͜ʖ ͡ಥ)). He did reply immediately, and he said:
“I already told you baby, I was not in the mood and I fucked everything, but everything is fine now, you are my baby still and no one can change that, now come on here give some love”.
There is when I knew that he did that to feel better for what he did and not because he really loved. And like a fool I decided to continue because even though it was real from his side, it was real on mine…
Weeks passed and Michael did change a bit but he did, he was paying more attention to his actions and decisions. He was becoming a better “man” and I loved it, however, anything is forever. (I just want to make clear something, we did argue, we argued 3 times in the 5 months we were “together”. They were totally nonsense arguments between a teenager couple but they don’t matter in this part of the history and if I be honest, I don’t remember the reason why).
One day we were talking about life and he said:
“Baby, do you love me? You know that I do…but I can´t do this anymore, I know you love me madly and believe me I do love you madly too… but I don’t think we will be able to see each other. You know that money is not enough for that and if it were what would I do when I get there? Do you have the money to go out and do whatever we want? We are just 16…I love you but you deserve better. I want to be your first at everything you know, but I know that’s only a dream, at least for me… I wanted to be your first kiss, your first and only man, the first and only to take your virginity away, I want to be THE MAN, YOUR MAN…I let you go but promise me that you will let me go as well.”
Honestly, this fucker was very mature for our age at that time, but I knew the reason why…
I promised him that I would let him go if he promised me that he will never forget me, and I hope he keeps that promise…I really hope so…
After that day, Michael disappeared…8 years have passed and I don’t know if he is ok…or at least happy…or alive.
End of year 1.
Ps: If you are wondering what happened between Michael and Two; Michael told him that he was using him for forgeting someone he loved and never talked to him again. I made sure of that....( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)