During lunchtime I look around at all the students, hoping to find Alex, but there no sign of him. I shrug it off and sit by myself in the back corner of the cafeteria. Sarah is also sitting alone by herself at the opposite corner. I thought she had friends other than me. The thing is I don't have friends other than her, and I need to really try to get new friends now. But with what had just happened, I don't think I'll get a new friend anytime soon. All throughout elementary school and middle school, we've been together all the time. Everyone thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend when we first started going to this school, (which was a small bump in the road for us) but we still stayed together during the whole time.

I rest my cheek on my hand, pulling out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from a brown bag that I've been eating pretty much every day since it's the only thing I know how to make. I try to mix it up sometimes, maybe trying a different peanut butter brand or jelly made with a different berry. It doesn't matter, though. It all tastes the same.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" I hear someone ask.

I look up at the person. "No, you can sit here."

"Thanks," Alex replies, sitting down across from me. He puts his lunch bag down on the table, looking at my lunch after. "What do you have for lunch?"

"Oh, just... a peanut butter and jelly sandwich," I answer, staring at the layers of the sandwich dripping out of the two slices of bread. There's a pause. "I'm sorry it's so boring," I say after glancing at all the food he pulls out from his bag.

"Why're you sorry?"

I don't know what to say at this, but I'm so embarrassed. I feel my face get hot. "I'm—" I stop myself before saying anything else.

Alex laughs and I look down again.

"Oh, I didn't mean to laugh at you," he assured me. "I mean, it's just... funny, I guess."

"I guess so," I say under my breath.

Alex doesn't hear me and takes a bite out of his own sandwich.

"Why are you sitting here with me?" I asked, dying to change the subject. "It's not like I'm special or anything. Compared to everyone else here, at least."

"Well, you're the only person I know, and you seem really nice," he says. He doesn't really hasn't heard anything about Rain, has he? I mean, it is better if he doesn't, and it's not true at all, but still. I think he'll find out eventually.

I shake my head and shift my eye to the right, where I see a group of sophomore girls staring at us. I feel uncomfortable now that I know that someone is staring at me. Or maybe they're not looking at me but at Alex. Everything doesn't revolve around me, but Alex and I both have our reasons to be stared at. Alex is a good-looking guy and the new transfer student. I am suspected of trying to kill my sister. So yeah, we both have our reasons, it's just that mine are bad.

"Are you saying you're not a nice person?" he asks me. "You shook your head."

I pause. "I mean... I am a nice person, but..." I trail off, taking a bite out of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Alex glances at me, waiting for me to finish me sentence.

"Ah, I'm sorry. That sounds really cocky," I say.

What is wrong with me? Why am I acting like this all of the sudden? This is kind of normal for me to act like this around new people, but I would normally not speak if I don't have to. Maybe it's because he's Alex. My crush.

"It's not cocky. You really are a nice person."

The bell rings, but nobody seems phased by it.

"Why is no one getting up?" Alex asks me, looking around.

"There's something wrong with the bell. One time when I was a freshman, a junior student messed up the wiring in the electrical box in the back of the school and this is what happened. During lunchtime, the bell rings fifteen minutes before lunch actually ends."

"Who was the student?"

"I don't know," I reply, shrugging. For some reason, I don't make eye contact with him. I just focus on my sandwich and try not to address the silence between us. It's really awkward, I'm too scared to say something. What will he think if I say something?

I finally look up, and I see him staring at me. He's leaning his cheek on his hand and staring at me. I wave my hand in front of his face. "Alex."

"Hm?" he hums, sitting upright. "Was I staring at you?"

I nod silently and he uses his hand to move his hair to the side. "Sorry about that," he says, smiling. "I always tend to have that problem."

"Oh, it's fine," I reply. The bell rings, and I get up from my seat.

Alex stands up too. "See you later, then," he says to me.

I wave my hand as he turns around and walks away. I drop my hand to my side and frown.

. . .

During the past few days, my mood has been pretty dreary, but the weather has been dreary in too. Outside the skies were gray, thick clouds covering up the sun. It starts raining, and I don't have an umbrella or a raincoat. It just reminds me of my sister. (Because it's Raining.) I take off my backpack and put it over my head, hoping for some coverage.

My hair is drenched in water by the time I'm home. I throw my wet backpack to a mat by the door and take off my shoes. I'm not sure if my dad went to work, but it's quiet in the house. I walk upstairs and into my room, where I change out of my wet clothes.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, so I take it out and find out my mom is calling me.

"Hello?" I say. I don't hear anything on the other end except for sniffling.

"Earnest... I'm so sorry..." she says, pausing afterwards.

I anxiously wait while my mom gathers herself. "Your sister..." she sputters.

"What happened?" I ask impatiently.

"Rain is..."

Another pause.

"...she died."