Everyone is stuck home... for the most part. Thanks to the Coronavirus, everyone is going insane right now and there's nothing that anyone can do.
As I think about my current circumstances, I look down at my phone to see a text from a group chat that includes some family of mine. One of the members being my mother. The mother I never see.
I opened the message to see her complaining about her son. My brother.
She goes on about how she longs to get out of the house and away from my brother. She complains about having to homeschool him and how she misses going out with her girls. My jaw clenched and I felt an irritated fire grow within me. I thought about how to respond without coming off in a harsh way. Then, my fingers managed to type five short words.
"Well, family does come first."
Then, I put my phone down. I had to.
After everything that your son has been through, you still can't see it, can you? Your son needs you now more than ever. It's not his fault that his mother was young and wasn't ready to grow up quite yet. It wasn't my fault either. It was not our fault that you weren't ready to be a mother.
I wish you knew how I felt on those long, rainy nights where I cried myself to sleep wondering where my mother was and why she wouldn't come see me anymore. I wish you knew how it felt to grow up without your parents around. I wish you knew how it felt to grow up thinking that something is wrong with you because your biological family was so wrapped up in themselves that they couldn't take a second to do their job as adults.
...
No.
I don't actually wish any of this upon you because it was miserable. I don't wish any of this upon you because it did real damage. I would never wish anything bad upon you because you are still my mother. But maybe if you understood this... maybe if you could wrap your mind around this, then you would be there for my brother in the way that he really needs.
But you do understand, don't you?
You do understand how it feels to be pushed aside and forgotten. You grew up in a broken home. You just dealt with it differently.
So... why didn't you try to be better than them?
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