Jer had been good about giving Steph space for about a month. They still talked and hung out some, but there had been no dates, hand holding, or kisses. Steph was comfortable with their friendship now. So why was Jer standing in front of her waiting for her answer to go to a dance together?
"No," Steph said. "I told you that I wanted space. Find someone else to take to the dance."
"OK, sorry for asking."
Steph sighed. Jer's expressions were so transparent. His forlorn face really pulled on her heartstrings, but it did not change her mind.
---
Jer: I'm lost
Steph: I'm at work
J: I know. But can't you look up some directions for me?
S: Fine. What are you by?
J: Target
Steph quickly sent Jer directions to get back to their apartments in between calls. She waited for things to go quiet before texting him again.
S: How did you get all the way over there anyway?
J: I was stress walking.
S: What were you so stressed about?
J: I just really want to go to that dance and I have literally no one to go with except you.
Steph blinked at her phone. Was he serious?
J: Will you please reconsider? I just want to go with you.
Steph could tell Jer was really stressed. He was going to get himself lost again. He'd already stress walked into the next city over.
S: Fine just get home safe
---
Steph opened the door of her apartment to a sheepish looking Jer.
"Sit." Steph curtly gestured to one of the couches. Jer sat obediently.
"I do not like being manipulated," Steph began, sitting on the other couch. "You cannot guilt trip me into going to a dance with you. I told you that I didn't want to go to the dance."
"I know," Jer mumbled with his head hanging. "I'm sorry."
"You're going to have to find another date."
"I know. I will."
"OK, well, I have to head onto campus now."
Jer and Steph stood. Steph opened the door and Jer shuffled his way out.
He just makes things so hard sometimes. Steph put her head in her hands. It hurt to be around Jer. He was so easy to relax around. If Steph wasn't careful, she'd keep leading Jer on. She couldn't keep doing that. Not when Will was the only person on her mind.
She hadn't received a letter since just after Christmas. She knew he was doing fine. His mom was still updating his mission blog every week with an edited version of his family letter. Steph just wished that there was a way to know if he hadn't written or if a letter had gotten lost in the mail. They had agreed to only have one letter out at a time. If a letter had gotten lost, that meant Will was waiting for her reply.
Steph's thoughts were going into the abyss of the "what ifs" when her phone rang. She saw it was her mom and picked up.
"Hey Mom. What's up?"
"Hi! Your grandma's 70th birthday is next Saturday. We're going to surprise her. Would you like to come with?"
"Are you paying?"
"Of course we're paying. Your brothers are both coming, too."
"Then that works perfect. Jer tried to guilt me into going to a dance with him that day. Now I'll have a great reason not to go with him, even if I already turned him down."
"We will help you flee the state! I'll make sure you're on the same flight as your brother."
---
Steph had had a wonderful weekend with her family. Her dad, who was notoriously horrible at keeping secrets, hadn't talked to his mom in a couple months just to avoid any chance to spoil the surprise. The surprise was a success. Her grandma had thought the surprise was Steph and her older brother, since they had gotten there first, and then she screamed when Steph's dad had shown up. After such a happy, refreshing visit, Steph felt a lot better about everything in her life, including Jer.
Steph had invited Jer over. She may be going back and forth on how she felt about him, but she was going to at least keep him in the loop. Soon, Jer was sitting on the couch next to her.
"Jer," Steph said, angling herself towards him. "I know I'm going back and forth with you, and I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Steph," Jer said. "I understand."
"I want to keep spending time with you, but I just don't think we should keep being so...physical with each other."
"It's whatever you want. I just want to be in your life. Whether you marry someone else, or you end up with me, I can't imagine my life without you anymore. So I'll be in your life in whatever way you'll let me."
Steph was shocked. They had never mentioned marriage before. She didn't know if Jer had purposely mentioned marriage or if it was just a slip, but it got Steph feeling both happy and worried. She couldn't let Jer pine away if she married Will. Besides that, Will was a jealous man.
That was the future, though. Right now, Steph and Jer were on the same page, so it was time to enjoy some TV and chatting.
---
The talk of not being as physical did not last as long as Steph had hoped. Not long after their heart-to-heart, Steph had started holding Jer's hand. Now she found herself sitting on his lap on a Sunday afternoon after the longest make out session she had ever had. None of her roommates had come back from their post-church plans, so Steph and Jer had not been interrupted for three hours.
What am I doing? Steph berated herself before diving back in for some more kisses.
---
"What happened to your face?!"
That was how Steph was greeted as soon as she walked into work Monday morning. She had woken up that morning, not just with dry skin on her chin, which usually happened after kissing for a long time, but with a quarter sized scab.
"...Eczema." Steph really should have thought up an excuse before going into work, but who's brain functioned before 7 a.m. anyways?
Bobbie gave Steph one of those looks as Steph sat down to sign into her station. It takes at least five minutes to load and sign into everything and Bobbie didn't stop giving Steph the look the whole time.
Clipping her headset onto her lanyard, Steph finally looked back at Bobbie.
"Okay, okay," Steph gave in. "I made out with a guy for three hours yesterday and now I have beard burn."
Bobbie howled with laughter.
"Tell him to shave next time!"
"He was shaved! He just gets a shadow in like two hours!" Steph should not have to defend her choice in kissing friends. She already had to do that enough in her own head.
"Oh, you're going to need a better story than beard burn," Bobbie chuckled as she wiped away tears from her eyes.
"I said it was eczema! You just didn't believe me!"
"Yeah, get a better story. And why haven't I heard of this boyfriend before?"
"Cause he's not my boyfriend," Steph grumbled as she fiddled with things at her desk.
That made Bobbie start up laughing again. Bobbie was Steph's work mom, and this conversation felt an awful lot like how it would have gone with her real mom.
Steph and Bobbie looked back as they heard the dispatch door open. Brad walked in and instantly saw the scab on Steph's chin.
"What'd you do?! Fall off your bike?"
"...yes..."
Bobbie howled with laughter.