Hey guys. I have some sad news. I didn't want to say anything at all really, I've been leaving the news hoping to not have to tell you anything at all, but over time I've been finding it hard to see even with my reading glasses on so I decided enough was enough and to get a full eye examination. Turns out I'm slowly going blind.

What are the odds, right? I cried, only because something as important as retinitis pigmentosa has been missed. How? I didn't understand how all these years something like that could be missed. But then again I've not helped myself, by having regular eye examinations or reporting any kind of problem and it seems I'm too late.

With everything else going on around us I missed the moment it happened. Then I found out it's actually a genetic thing. It can occur from childhood or suddenly occur in adulthood.

But eventually I'm going to go blind. There's treatment and things that can slow its progression, but it won't stop it. I will go blind.

I blame myself because I've not looked after my health as much as I should have and I hate that eventually I won't even be able to write.

You know what else is funny is that last year when I was visiting my friend we got into one of those silly conversations about (what would be the worst thing to lose) like a limb or hearing and so forth and I said my sight. I'd hate to not see the people I love or not see the ocean and even just not being able to look at the sky or see colors, yet writing is the biggest part of me. It's who I am. Now I feel like it's being stolen from me. The biggest part of my life is being snatched away and there's nothing I can do about it.

It's like a ticking time bomb. But if ever the day comes that I cannot see anymore. I have a very close friend that will write for me. It's the best I can do, but I'm hoping that day doesn't come too soon. I pray that it doesn't come too soon.

I know a lot of people would say that crying over the fact that I wouldn't be able write is just plain stupid, there's more important things that I'd miss. But that's not true. I'd still hear the voices of my loved ones, I'd still be able to feel that it's a warm sunny day and I'd still be able taste something sweet. But I cannot taste my writing. I cannot feel it and I cannot smell it. It's a total loss for me or maybe I'm being overly dramatic.

Sorry for this whole episode of me being a dramatic idiot. But the thought of losing what's so important to me, all of you. Seeing your beautiful comments or how immersed you become with my stories and characters or how sometimes I see how you relate to things in my stories. I love it. I love all of it. You guys keep me going and I hope that sometimes my stories keep you going.

Anyway. Let's not lose hope. I'm going to do the very best I can until I can't anymore. Hopefully its a long way off. 

I love you all, very much.