To my birth family,

You’re probably wondering by now what I look like. I also wonder what you look like, for example, whose eyes and ears did I get? Who do I resemble most? But since I’m the one writing the letter I guess I tell you what I look like, then you can do your own comparisons.

I’m 5’1” exactly, no more and no less. It’s just shy of the average 5’2” I’m used to being around. You see, going to predominantly white schools means that most of the population will be taller than you.

I complain about being short an awful lot, so much so that my roommates have to remind me that it’s because I’m asian. So yes, I blame your genes for that. Asian genes from the south that make me smaller than asians from farther north.

I suppose I shouldn’t complain too much, though. I like tall guys, so I have quite the pool of potential suitors. It also helps to be small when you’re playing hide and seek. When I want to hide I hide, and people won’t find me for a long time.

I also have the typical asian eyes that people would describe as slanted downward or upward. I don’t really know how to describe their shape, since they aren’t as thin as other Chinese I’ve met. Mine are wider, or they seem wider because I’ve been stuck with them my whole life.

There was only one time I can remember when I got made fun of for my eyes. I was in Grade 1, six years old when this boy two years older than me pulled the skin beside his eyes outward, joking, “Look at me, I’m Chinese!”

At the time I just ignored him because it didn’t bother me so much. I also thought he was trying to be stupid, and my weird six-year old self ignored people I thought were purposely trying to be stupid. When I told Mum, though, she said the boy might’ve been making fun of me. I didn’t understand why, since I hadn’t done anything to the boy. He never spoke to me again after that, so I guess it was a one-time thing. He must’ve lost interest when I hadn’t given him a reaction.

As I got older, though, I was offended by remarks made about Chinese eyes. I’ve heard the unpopular ones like, “Can you see me through there?” and “If I wrap string around your eyes you’ll be blind, right?”

It gets really annoying when you hear racist jokes from non-Chinese people. One of the perks about being part of a minority is that only you can make fun of yourself. It’s kinda fun when I joke about being Chinese with my Chinese friends. Apparently it’s normal for them to gossip about asian parent tropes.

The thing you notice right away, though, is my hair. Lots of white people have dark hair, but you stand out more if your hair is darker than a chestnut.

If you wait for my next letter I’ll go off on a hair tangent. Su thinks I’m weird when I ramble, but everyone’s used to it. So if you don’t like talking about hair you can just skip my next letter.

Oh, and my question for today is, how tall are you? Who did I get my height from? For all I know I could have a tall birth mother and a short father or vice versa. Or maybe height even skipped a couple generations so I have tall grandparents!

Sincerely,

Lillian