SAGE

I sat by the edge of the pebbled shore, dabbling my feet in the water. Our Island was shaped by the ebb and flow of the ocean water that surrounded it. Here I was sitting, at the very spot where dozens of our people piled onto boats and set out on raids to invade other places. It was also where I sat and sulked about how I never got to go with them. I practised day in and day out, and my fighting skills were undoubtedly better than anyone my age, males included--yet I was never allowed to go on raids. I kicked a rock in frustration and watched as it flew into the water. 

My mother had encouraged me as a child to take up fighting. “You must always be prepared, for one day, you will need to fight... and when you win that fight, you will rule.” My father would call her crazy and tell me that all I needed to do in life was marry well, bare children, and look after my husband. What did he know? He was a lazy drunk. My mother's advice always sat better with me, and I held it close after she was gone, leaving me in my father’s care.

As I grew older and reflected upon my childhood, I would remember little pieces of wisdom that my mother gave me. Now, at the age of seventeen, her revelations began to make a lot more sense. 

“Sage.” I heard my name being called from a short distance and immediately turned to see Helga. She was a nice girl, slightly older than me, and in charge of the women's chores in our village. She had no interest in fighting or going on raids; she was more of a simple girl--the kind my father wanted me to be. 

“Yes?” I looked her way, flicking my feet against the stones to dry off the water. 

“We need your help in making the next meal. Our men should arrive home shortly, and it’s all hands on deck, I'm afraid.” She gave me a kind smile. She was understanding and sweet, unlike some of the other women here who treated me badly because I was different, always trying to fix me by giving unwanted advice or trying to tidy my unruly white hair.

“Sure.” I smiled at her, standing to follow her into the communal hut. The communal hut was where the women prepared all the food, as well as mended broken garments for their children, husbands, and other men of our community. 

As I prepared the meat, slapping its heaviness onto the table in order to make it tender, I heard snickers. Keeping my head down, I cast my eyes in the direction of the noise. As usual, it was Frida and Bodil. Bitches. I moved onto the next food item, bread. I stirred the ingredients together to make the dough and proceeded to knead it. More snickers. 

“Did you hear what Sage did in the food tent this morning?” one whispered to the other. I felt anger rise, boiling to the surface. I usually contained it, but today I was not in the mood to keep it inside.

I threw the dough onto the table hard enough to make a loud bang that attracted looks from the other women. I glared at Frida and Bodil; both sets of shrewd, beady eyes were now on mine. I cocked my head to the side, ready to take them both on if they chose to take it further. They stood back slightly and looked at each other, erupting in laughter when I didn’t make a move. With that, I launched myself at them both, pushing Frida to the floor. Hard. 

“Hey!” Bodil glared, her arms crossed. “You can’t treat us like that!”

“Ha, you’re next.” I charged at her, grabbing her clumpy brown hair. She used the same tactic, so I kicked her to the ground and held her there with my foot. 

“Back off, bitch!” she roared, attempting to kick me off, but I was stronger. 

Laughter erupted from my stomach, “You should have taken fighting lessons.” 

She scoffed at me, her thick eyebrows knitted together. “Get off me!” she yelled, as Frida came up behind me, ripping a large chunk of my hair from my head. Luckily, I had inherited my mother’s thick hair and not my father's receding hairline. I felt the burn go through my scalp, but my anger overtook it. Seeing her with a large clump of my blonde locks in her palm only fuelled me to keep going. “No need for fighting lessons when you're naturally talented.” She looked at Bodil and they continued to laugh. I hated their screeching voices.

My lip curled up in a snarl as I punched Frida in the thin lines that sat above her chin while swiftly kicking Bodil in the stomach, leaving them both hurled over in pain. 

“Enough, girls! The boat is pulling in!” Helga scolded as she ran toward the water. 

I leaned over Frida, pulling a small dagger from my clothing and holding it to her neck. “If you ever test me again, you better have practised your fighting.”

I left them both lying there and hastily followed Halga. “Bear!” I called, unable to contain the smile on my face. I watched the boat pull in, rushing to it, excitedly awaiting my friend’s return. What gifts had he brought me from the latest raid? 

As the boat came closer and my vision cleared, I noticed that something was different. Bear wasn’t waiting at the bow, ready to greet me. Worried, I waded into the water to get a better look. As the boat finally hit the shore, men piled out of it. Bear's father hung close behind them, holding something, someone. Bear. 

My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. The realisation that he might be dead, hit me like a ton of rocks crashing down on me. Like my heart was outside of my body; for if he was dead, so was I.

“Father!” I called desperately, running to his side. Bear’s father had taken on the role of my guardian when I lost my father to drunkenness after my mother perished. My father’s useless shell of a body was always planted somewhere in the local tavern, never ripe for battle or to contribute to child-rearing. “Is Bear... dead?” I began to weep. 

“Hush, child, he is not dead,” he replied, shrugging my hand from his arm. He quickly trudged to shore, gently laying Bear on the pebbles.

“What is wrong with him?” I pleaded for an answer.

“He is just sick. We’re not sure why. All you can do now is pray that he heals quickly,” he counselled me, wiping the hair from his forehead, which was both bloody and muddy.

I fell to my knees by my best friend's side as people fussed over him. The day came, and so did the night, but still, he didn’t get better. We had come to find that he had a wound on his arm, that appeared to be some sort of bite or maybe a scratch. It had been bandaged up by the carers in the village. I never left his side, following his lifeless body wherever they chose to move it, everyone offering to take care of him. Finally, it was settled that he would be placed in a yurt by the ocean’s shore, to let the fresh air aid him back to health. I dabbed at his pale face and the beads of sweat that constantly formed on his forehead. He was wrapped in animal skins to keep him warm. I remembered my mother telling me once, when she was sick, that in order to keep down a fever, a combination of keeping warm and applying a cold cloth would do the trick. 

I looked out at the shining moon, aware of how late it must be. My eyes grew heavy, and I no longer had the strength to resist as I rested my head on the ground next to Bear’s and shut my eyes.

“Sage?” a small voice said in the dark only moments later. My heart fluttered at the sound of my name coming out of his mouth. I had always loved him as a brother, but lately, I had begun to feel something more. Well, I would say over the last year I had really started noticing him. When we had both reached the age of sixteen, his boyish arms started to take on a stronger stature, the hard work of manhood building them up. Different from the friend I had known and been comfortable with. He had constant hair growth on his cheeks, chin, and upper lip, and his jawline had become stronger. Besides that, I had noticed once or twice, when he would remove his garments on the days we went swimming, that his body was more masculine than it had been. I tried not to let him see me look, quickly diverting my eyes if he were to look in my direction, but I think he caught me once. He didn’t say anything, though. Probably just to save me the embarrassment.

“Bear?” I blurted urgently, rushing to his side from the small space between us. 

He groaned, clutching at his arm. “Yes.” I heard a shuffle. “What happened?”

“You don’t remember?” I smoothed his dark hair from his eyes. I had always been jealous of how perfectly his hair sat, where my own unruly locks had a mind of their own. 

He sat up, moaning in pain. I was quick to support his back, pulling up one of the soft cushioning’s that had been laid out on his bed up higher for comfort. “I think I… remember something…”  he groaned.

I took some flint and used it to light the candle that was beside his bed. He began to unravel the cloth that protected his wound, wincing at the sight of it. 

“My guess is that a blood-sucking urchin bit you, while those good-for-nothing Vikings of ours were having another party… From my readings, that is what the infection looks like. If it continues to spread...” I looked away, holding in my words as long as I could, hoping some of the emotion attached to them would vapourize before he could hear it. “Well, it won’t be good.”

“What are you saying?” he moaned again, re-wrapping his wound with cloth.

“Let me do that,” I said, taking over the task. “Do you have any memories from that night?” I peered up at him, intentionally fluttering my eyelashes and tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. 

He gazed at me as if beginning to realise I existed in more than a sister-like appeal, at least, that's what I hoped. “You look…”

“Yes?” I prompted.

“Different…” He shook his head as if trying to shake off any new thoughts and come back to the original topic. “I do have some distant memories…” he recalled. “I was standing at the bow of the ship one moment… the clan was having a party… and the next thing I knew…” He shuddered. “All of a sudden, there was a splash in the water, and when I went to inspect what the sound was, something grabbed a hold of me. I couldn’t pull away. And the pain…” 

“It’s okay. You don’t need to talk about it now. Rest some more.” I fussed over him, making sure he was comfortable. “Here, have some mead to take the edge off.” I handed him a jug.

As the morning sun made its way into our resting place, I stirred, attempting to wipe the sun's rays from my eyes. When that didn’t work, I rolled onto my side. 

“Agh, is it morning already?” Bear sighed, pushing his hair from his beautifully tired eyes. I sighed, looking at him. If only he knew how I had pined for him that past year. The only occasion I thought he may have noticed me in a different way was when we were swimming not too long before he went off on the last raid, and my garments were soaked from the water. He looked at me almost lustfully, and said, “You’re really starting to look like a woman.” When I shied away to hide my glee, he burst out laughing and hit me with his own wet top garment, saying, “Just kidding! You will always be one of the boys.” And just like that, my happiness was pulled from under me. I knew there and then that he would never see me the way that I saw him.

“I’m afraid so.” I smiled, sitting up.

“I want to tell you what else happened…” he said, turning to me and yawning, his dimples making their first appearance of the day. My insides flipped at the way they caressed his cheeks, making permanent creases in his heart-shaped face.

“First, breakfast,” I announced, standing to my feet and pushing open the cloth that covered yurt’s entrance. “You are looking a lot better today, let's keep it that way.” My smile reflected in my voice as the parting words carried me out the door and on my way to the meal preparation hut. The first person I saw when I entered was Bodol. I glared at her, picking up a piece of bread and not breaking eye contact. She backed away from the table, causing a grin to play on my lips. Next was Frida, who had a similar reaction, though decided she would brave talking to me, “How's’ Bear?” Her voice trembled, and it was obvious she was trying to keep it together. 

“What’s it to you?” I snapped, offended she dare ask about my Bear. She smoothed her garments and turned to leave. Curiosity built up slowly inside of me. I thought about stopping her and giving an honest answer, but I couldn’t take back what I had said, so I did the same.

When I returned with a selection of meats and bread, I placed the fabric that held it all together on Bear's lap. He looked down as he picked small crumbs from the bread, rolling them between his index finger and thumb. “Now, can I please tell you the rest of the story?” 

I crossed my legs in a comfortable place on the floor and settled in to hear his tail. “Of course, go ahead.” I stared at the food that was going untouched on his lap, the urge to say something eating away at me.

He fumbled with the meal in his lap some more before finally speaking. I watched him quizzically as his face twisted and turned. “I don’t know if I should tell you. I fear you may judge me...” he mustered at last.

“After all your attempts at telling me, now you're going to shy away? What are you bothered by? When have I ever judged you, my friend?” I urged him on, slightly annoyed by the unintentional insult.

“Well, surely not every time you tell me I am wrong or stupid,” he remarked sarcastically.

“And that is when you are wrong and stupid.” I nodded my head as a smirk contorted my lips and made its way up my cheek. I looked down to hide it.

Bear hesitated before speaking. “Fine, I will tell you what I saw.” He looked into my eyes with his warm muddy gaze, a colour concoction that looked as if it were mixed with honey. “Two nights ago, while everyone was feasting, I was watching over the ship.” He paused, looking for a reaction.

I screwed up my face. “You already told me this part; you are such a bad storyteller! What magical thing could have happened by the water that you believe I will find so outrageous?” I shook my head and began to stand with the intention of walking off to gather more food. 

“Wait! I was bitten by a Mermaid.” The words flew out of his mouth with great enthusiasm and landed on a sore spot in my brain. Fury exploded before I could even process the danger he could have been in, and how those useless good-for-nothing men celebrated while he was being attacked.

I whipped around, my hair falling sporadically around my shoulders. “I knew it! Why did you not warn the clan? Are you insane!? We are under attack! What kind of future leader are you making of yourself if you can’t even warn your clan of a Mer attack?!” Outraged, I began to pace the quarters. “I must tell the others… you must!” The words came out harsher than I intended.