“So where have you been living these past few months?”

That was a question I’d been hearing for a while now. Even my parents were demanding to know my next move, especially since I’d taken a gap year in the middle of my college studies. By now I would’ve been a junior, in my third year of school, studying Photography. 

I was still pursuing that, but I had little to no money left in my savings. Those part-time jobs helped the tiniest bit, thankfully. Other than that, well, I had to find some place cheaper to live. And if that meant reaching out to friends, then that was what I was going to start doing.

What better way to do that than to call upon the only high school friend I’d kept in touch with through the years. Technically, it was Theo who was adamant we stay acquaintances. He’d always been the type to never really let go of anyone. And despite the fact that he was only a freshman then when I’d met him, he hadn’t seemed hesitant to approach me even though I was a senior at the time.

We'd visited each other often, when we could. He was a rebellious guy, small, and bright. The last time we’d met up was around two months ago, when I’d barely realized that my current rent was way too high. My previous roommate as well, was thinking of moving closer to the city, which ultimately made me tempted to make the same decision.

Theo, out of everyone I knew, had travelled more extensively than I probably ever would. He knew the city enough to give me a few recommendations, hopefully. If not, then I would have to return back home, to that small beach town where it was just as expensive as where I currently was. And I did not want to go back to my parent’s place.

I sat comfortably at our table, raising my face to the burning sun. We were sitting outside of a small cafe, one that overlooked the busy parking lot full of tourists and beach-goers. The ocean wasn’t too far from where we were. I could still catch a glimpse of it if I stood tall enough over the cafe balcony.

“I’ve been rooming with someone from school.” I told him, taking the iced tea in my hands and watching as the condensation on the plastic cup collected around my hot fingers. “Before that, I was dorming.”

Theo had his legs tucked against his chest, arms outstretched on the table where his soda sat untouched. “It’s expensive?”

“Very.” I admitted.

My parents were well-off. I couldn’t lie about that. But now, since I’d already turned 23 a few months back, I didn't want to depend on them as much. Turns out, I was terrible at being an adult. No surprise there.

Theo shrugged. He shrugged, as if he was used to this all. It wouldn’t have been too surprising. Whenever I asked Theo about his own life, he would tell me a different story every time. I didn’t even know where he lived, or if he had a place to call home. 

“I can talk to a few of my friends in the city, if you’d like.” He said, much to my delight. This was what I was gonna ask him. “But I only know of one vacancy right now, in a pretty nice area.”

I sat up in my seat. I’d take anything, honestly. I had wanted to move to the city for the resources and opportunities. Also, I’d have much more to capture. So far, all I’d been able to photograph were my clients and the beach. 

“ . . . I’ll take it.” I said. There was hesitance in my voice, but that was natural. Of course I’d be scared of taking a room without fully knowing much of it at first. This was Theo, though, and he'd mentioned it was in a nice part of town. How bad could it be?

Actually, it could be very bad. Very.

Theo thought to himself, “Lewis—you know I’m rooming with someone, right?”

I nodded, “Yes.”

“His name is Felix and—he inherited property from his grandma when she died. It’s sorta like a boarding house.” His usually bright demeanor changed into something slightly rare, almost like melancholy? It wasn’t a side of Theo I was familiar with enough. “Since he’s the owner now, he already has some of his family and friends staying over, so . . .”

This sounded difficult. Theo’s roommate owned the building? When he’d said he only knew of one place, I automatically assumed it was for me. Maybe he meant for that place to be saved for someone else.

“Would it be inconvenient?” I asked. I wasn’t ready to beg. I was saving that for later. “I’d be willing to room with someone, Theo.”

Theo looked at me, his brows furrowed. I could tell he was trying hard to think of a solution. “The thing is, the only place left in that house is downstairs, on the first level.”

“And—?” I began.

“And it only has one room. But it’s pretty big, with the kitchen and the living room and all.” He continued, tussling his messy head of curly hair. There was something he wasn’t telling me. “I mean, if you don’t mind sharing that one place with a roommate, then I guess it’s alright.”

That was more than okay. Frankly, I only needed a roof over my head during the summer before the fall semester of school began. These months were going to be dedicated to honing my craft and photographing. What better place to live, than in a historic city that I’d never been to?

I didn’t say these thoughts aloud. They were sort of a personal goal that I’d created. Not even my parents knew I was moving out and heading to the city. They would’ve most likely hated the idea.

“Does the owner—I mean, does Felix have anything against two people living there?” I’d forgotten that there was an issue in all of this. Theo still was being unsure about the situation. And if Theo, of all people, was concerned, then I should’ve been too.

Alas, I was correct. “Yeah. He does.”

Dammit.

“But why?” I gripped the iced tea in my hands, accidentally making it overflow onto the glass surface below. “Is it money? I can gather up enough if necessary—”

“No, no he just . . .” He trailed off. “I already have another friend, Ro, who needs a place to stay too. And Felix isn’t allowing more than one person to live in that space. Well, unless it’s a couple.”

Ro? Who's Ro?

For some reason, I stilled where I sat. It wasn’t a feeling of dread that came over me, instead it was something like . . . uncertainty? I’d never done anything like this before, pleading for a room that my friend had promised for someone else. I was desperate.

Silence fell upon us as I stared absent-mindedly in the direction of the beach. The sea breeze was calm, soothing the sense of anxiety that’d crept up.

“I guess you could say you were my last source of hope in finding a place to stay.” I revealed, laughing to myself.

Theo pouted. He did that often. “If you’re low on money, we can try to work things out.” He offered, leaning forward to pout more closely at me. “I wanna help both of you~”

“How?” There wasn’t anything we could do about it. One of us would have to take the room. According to the owner, Theo’s friend Ro and I couldn’t share it. We weren’t a couple.

“He’s struggling a bit with school debt, so I kind of promised him a place to stay.” Theo opened his soda, swishing the can back and forth, but not taking a sip. “I also want this for you, Lewis, I don’t want you to be without a home.”

There was that sincerity I’d always known in Theo. If a problem ever arose, I knew that, out of anyone, Theo would be the one to come and help first.

I sighed under my breath. “I don’t know, Theo.”

“I could ask Felix, but he seemed pretty strict about it . . .”

“If your friend and I were a couple, then all of this would be solved.” I concluded, with a hint of amusement in my tone.

Yeah. That would never happen. Me, in a relationship with a total stranger? That would’ve been wild. Not to mention impossible.

I’d heard of certain apartments and lofts reserved specifically for couples only. I just never thought I’d come across one in my search. Were things really that strict? Was the room so small that two strangers couldn’t live together?

I was aware of how uncomfortable it would be, but in my case, I would only be staying there for about three months. Unless my roommate was someone I couldn’t tolerate, then I didn’t mind everything else.

Too bad, I guess.

Theo slammed his soda on the table excitedly, making me jump. A look of joy crossed his face as he stared at me. Those big eyes were trying to tell me something obvious.

I took a sip of my tea, ignoring his outburst, “What?”

He pointed at me, “You’re a genius.”

“Thanks, I know.” I joked.

“No—you two could still be roommates!” He exclaimed happily. Theo had made a mess. There was Coca-Cola everywhere.

Doubting it, I said, “Okay . . . how?

Maybe he’d been mistaken? Maybe he remembered a different place I could rent?

“You and Ro could just pretend to be a couple!”

Nope.

He sounded way too elated over that proposal. I, personally, did not sound as joyous as him. “Pardon?”

Theo stretched over the table, hands splayed on the glass surface, “If you’re only staying there for a little bit, then you can just lie to Felix and say that Ro's your boyfriend!”

“Wait, wait, wait—” I was still registering everything he was saying. This was unheard of, risky, and not to mention very Theo. This was unlike me at all.

“Ro's cool, so I’m pretty sure he’d play the part with you easily.” Theo was speaking to himself now, hand scratching at his chin as he thought aloud, “That way, you can live rent-free for a couple of months. I can put in a good word with Felix. He’ll let you guys stay if he doesn't find out—”

This was too much. I was an adult, for goodness sake. Adults didn’t do . . . this.

I stopped him, “Theo, I don’t think Ro would like being my fake-boyfriend.”

“Why not?” Theo gave me a wide-eyed look, like he was confused at my statement.

His reaction confused me too. “W-we might not get along . . .” I cleared my throat, thinking of ways I could refuse. Theo with horrible ideas was usually unstoppable. “And besides, I’d feel bad lying.”

Theo studied me.

After a minute, he responded, “Why don’t you just take the risk, Lou?”

I spluttered. He was using my nickname. “Are you—are you sure about this?” I nearly laughed again. “You’d be willing to go so far to help us?”

He shrugged, “I’ve done worse.”

“Theo . . .” I rubbed my temples. I had to admit defeat. Nothing was impossible for him. I’d forgotten that too.

What I also forgot, was how we arrived there. Not the subject, but the location. We were up north, far from the southern beach where we grew up. The city was nestled in between those two places, not very far, though still quite a drive. Maybe an hour? Theo never owned a car, and I doubted his family would help him.

I dropped the roommate subject for the moment, “Wait, Theo, how did you even get here?”

My friend jutted a thumb in the direction of the parking lot, “Felix dropped me off.” He said it so simply. “He’ll come back for me in an hour.”

“Oh.” I replied. Must be nice.

“But when he comes back, I’ll let him know that you'll be taking the room with your new boyfriend! Or, loft—I think it’s considered a loft now.” He trailed off once more. "I have to text Ro—"

“I still haven’t agreed to this.” I reminded him. “We could get caught.”

“No way~” He assured me. “Felix will never find out.”

That didn’t sound realistic.

I didn’t even know who this 'Ro' guy was. If it was one of Theo’s friends, surely it was someone just as reckless and free-spirited. I sure as hell wasn’t like that. I’d wanted security, just a small amount of security until I returned to school. This didn’t sound like something that would work out.

Unless . . . unless I agreed, but only to show Theo that, in the end, it wouldn’t work. Theo, as stubborn as he was, would have to accept it. It looked like that was the only way I could make him change his mind. It would also be a free-pass for me to attain that loft.

It was a bad idea. I recognized that, but what else was there to do? I didn’t have much money left, and a free-ish place sounded too good to pass up. Would I pass it up?

I glanced at my short friend, and then to the clear blue sky. This was iffy, though it could be the last reckless thing to do before I became an official adult, right?

“ . . . if Ro will be okay with it, then I can try it out.” I half-regretted saying that.

Theo clasped his hands. A wicked smirk graced his lips, which made me regret the decision all the more. “Oh, he'll definitely be more than okay, Lou. I promise you that.”

I was just full of bad ideas, apparently.

For instance, it wasn't a good idea coming back to the place I’d always loathed. But it was early summer, so the area was prettier than it usually was. The flowers from various plants, trees, descended to the ground in mounds of purple and pink, decorating the sidewalk vibrantly. The wind too, was a mix of hot and cool, fluctuating as I walked down the street with my hands stuffed in my pockets, reminiscing.

Hours ago, I’d left Theo at the cafe and took a car back to my hometown. Along the coast highway, I’d gotten here in less than 30 minutes. It was somewhat frustrating, knowing how easily and quickly it was to return.

I was standing outside of the gate I’d restlessly stared at in high school. That gate of freedom that faced my old bus stop. Except, now I was on the other side of the metal barrier, but somehow I didn’t feel any more free.

Speaking truthfully, I felt more like those flower petals falling from the Jacaranda tree above my old History classroom. They fell in heaps on the floor, collecting, piling atop one another like snowfall in the winter. Before they reached the bottom though, they dropped from the tree and swayed with the wind chaotically, gradually, not knowing where they would end up.

It’d been almost five years, and yet I remained not knowing where I was going. What I only knew was that I would hit the ground someday. Where I would land, I wasn’t sure—I wasn’t sure of anything. That was why I came back to the school, to see if I could find what I was looking for.

Returning to my starting point didn’t necessarily help me find answers. It didn’t. I would simply have to let fate take control of my destination. But as I grew more scared, I became determined not to let it control me.

Frustrated, I hooked my fingers in the holes of the gate, eyeing the spot I used to sit in. I changed so much as a person since then. It was hard to see the old me in the new me, and in my appearance too. I looked different. I didn’t wear glasses anymore, and I was taller. My one goal to transform completely had been accomplished all on my own.

“A new beginning.” I said to myself.

A new city, a new roommate, new things I could photograph—these were all my own decisions. Now, I only hoped they wouldn’t lead to ruin. I only hoped they would take me to the place where I wanted to be in life.

As my back hit the gate, these thoughts swarmed in my mind. I was reminded of my old friends, my classes, and the first time I held a camera.

Then . . . I remembered the one thing I dispelled from my memories, the one person I vowed never to think of again—

And I let it all consume me one last time.