Sheila and I are cracking up over her weird impressions. I love seeing this happier side of Sheila, she’s often stressing over Arick and Ithin arguing over food, keeping Mel from trying to trick Fend the wrong way to do things, or making sure Alto is cleaning his clothes properly. But seeing her long hair flowing in the breeze, her thin shoulders shaking from laughter, a smile on her usually serious face, all those things make my heart feel light. I want to see her like this more often. It reminds me that she’s still just a 16-year old girl; she possesses more wisdom and insight than I’ll ever have, so she sometimes seems so much older than me those times. I sometimes forget that we’re the same age…

“Hey” Sheila says, a serious expression on her face. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I heard Fend telling me about how you guys saw Clyde..?” Oof. Talk about a cold breeze on a warm day, the name shoots chills up my spine, and I can feel myself tensing up.

“What about it?” I ask, all of the warm, fuzzy feeling I had replaced by pure adrenaline. Whoa, hold on a second there, Rex. Reel it in a bit. Deep breaths. “I mean, yeah, we saw him alright.” I reframe my response into something a little bit calmer. “Before, we heard that he was still going to the taverns, challenging everyone to fights, and managing to kick everyone’s butts there with ease. We heard a fight start to take place when we walked by towards the marketplace, but didn’t stick around to see what was happening. I just wanted to sell the clothing Fend had made and then get back. I caught a glimpse of the fight though; this scrawny looking kid dressed all in black, which was Clyde himself, was holding his own against a group of 8 burly dudes with the assistance of what looked like copies of himself, but made of pure blood.” I remember vividly one of the bloodred duplicates getting punched and splashing crimson on the attacker, and the overwhelming stench of iron in the air…

“I saw the look in his eyes, Shei.” A shudder runs through my body as I recall the crazed glint there, and the terror that it caused me to feel; the feeling that I was nothing but an insect, nothing but another obstacle in the way of his path. “He was like a wild animal let out of his cage for the first time. That deadly fight was just a game for him, and you could tell he was enjoying every second of it.”

“...Wow.” Sheila seems almost enthralled with my story. Not a good sign. Usually she takes interest in lunatics like him because she wants to try to pacify them, but also learn why they’re doing what they’re doing; It’s how we met Alto, coincidentally. Sure enough…

“We need to stop him.” She says with a determined expression on her face. “I don’t know what that’s going to require, but as the ones who are special like him, as the ones who can make a difference, we’re going to be the ones who have to stop his rampage.” She adds, clearly thinking hard about what could happen if we sit back and do nothing. “We owe it to the people who have helped us get to where we were, like Granny Mack, who gave us bread from her stand when we had nothing to eat, the Lambcook family who washed us and gave us fresh clothes when they saw us wearing nothing but beat up rags. There’s other people too! Others have helped us here and there, I don’t think that we could’ve done it without them.”

Man! I can feel myself agreeing slightly with her, I feel that if I was anyone else, that I might go for it then and there. But, there’s many reasons as to why I find myself not wanting to engage with a monster like Clyde, the biggest reason being…

“But what about the others?” I ask, speaking up for the first time, startling Sheila out of her trance-like look.

“What?” She asks, a look of confusion replacing her look of concentration. “What do you mean about the… ...Others.” She pauses as she realizes what I’m talking about. “Oh, shoot. I’m hoping it will work out…” She supplies weakly.

“But will it work?” I burst out angrily. “What about the people who have never been in combat before, like Alto, like Luna, who could get hurt, or even worse? I’ve seen what that guy does to people he beats, Sheila.” I say, my emotions and worries pouring out as I express all the feelings I’ve had since she’s started on the topic. “Plus, if you’re going to heal us as we need it,” I say, as I see her start to open her mouth. “Someone is going to have to be there to defend you from Clyde if he decides to switch his focus onto you, which is going to change our objective from defeating him to keeping you safe! And that guy can open up some pretty serious wounds, Sheila. Are you really going to take them all onto yourself?” I say, frustrated that she can’t think for herself as much as she does, how much weight it would put on her shoulders as well as ours, as much pain she would have to endure to heal us from all our battle wounds. “I want to repay the villagers for all they’ve done for us as well! It may just be a matter of time, but he hasn’t been attacking innocents yet!” My statement causes her to stiffen a bit. “What he’s been doing has been horrible, no doubt! But so far, it’s just been meatheads that are stupid enough to fight a scrawny kid like him. It’s their fault for not thinking that he’s got to be hiding something in order to have the guts to challenge them in the first place!”

“Well, yes” Sheila shoots back. “But as you said, it’s only a matter of time before he starts attacking others. That ‘matter of time’ could be as short or as long as it takes for him to just snap, and from what you’ve told me about him so far, now would be the time to make a difference in his life, to get him to stop before he gets to the point where he’s unable to listen to reason!”

“Listen to reason???” I let out a huff of frustration. I knew that this was the real motivation behind her interest in him; to talk things out with him, to talk to him and to get him to stop. And I would assume…

“You’re going to have him join us after, aren’t you??” I ask, already knowing the answer, but needing to confirm it.

“Yes, yes I am.” Sheila says, with a stubborn clench of her jaw, the one that tells me she’s not going to let up. “He’s probably got nowhere to go, nobody to care for him. Can’t you empathize with that??? Weren’t we just talking about how much we struggled to get where we were?” She gives me a look of disbelief. All of a sudden, I can see the burning desire to make a difference in Clyde’s life, to give him the things he’s probably never had, the things WE’VE never had ourselves up until now; the love and support of others. There’s still doubt in my mind that he even wants that, though, especially from what I’ve seen from him so far.

“Ok, yeah.” I say, taking a step back from the confrontational stance I had before. Sheila must sense it, because I can see her visibly relax a bit. “I don’t want him anywhere near the others, though!” I burst out, causing her to recoil. “I don’t want him putting the others in danger! I don’t want to be ever put into a situation where I have to fear being betrayed like what happened before, where I lost my family because of one unstable lunatic that hated us!” My true feelings come to the surface that I’ve not been honest about this entire time. “I don’t want to ever lose my family again, Sheila.” I say to her, feeling the fears that I’ve been able to push down for this whole time return to the surface as I imagine Clyde coming into our ranks. A look of horror creeps across Sheila’s face as she realizes what’s going through my mind.

“Oh Rex…” She begins, a look full of emotion on her face.

“I don’t want to lose any of you.” I say firmly, cutting her off. “Not to him, not to anyone. I don’t know if I could handle losing you all. You’re too precious to me; I wouldn’t know what I would do if I lost you guys, because it would feel just like losing them again.” I can feel myself breaking down as I look into her eyes, eyes that see all my pain that’s coming to surface as I remember what’s happened before when my family let someone in, and how that decision ultimately led to their deaths…

“I’m going for some air” I blurt out, not able to stand the thoughts swirling around my head. As I turn to leave, however, I feel a pair of thin arms wrap around me, preventing me from running off.

“Huh..?” I turn around to see Sheila’s head buried in the back of my shoulder.

“Shush.” She says, looking up at me with a caring but determined expression on her face. “Shush, and stop thinking. Just for a few seconds, ok..? Just a few seconds, that’s all I ask.” Looking at her expression, there’s nothing to do but listen to her request. I stop trying to run, and feel her warmth on my back, feel her fragile arms, so weak, but so determined to keep me rooted to sanity. I feel the tension in my shoulders start to let up. Looking down at her, seeing her feel everything I was feeling… I feel myself finally break down, all of my pain and tension being released as her warmth melts the walls of ice that had started to form around my heart. I let my tears run freely as the loss of my family comes back to me, as I saw their horrified faces trapped in the windows of our house as the flames burned away their surroundings, and being unable to do anything but be rooted in place and watch as they were burned alive…

“Agh…” All the feelings of guilt I’ve had eating away at me come to the surface, but start to fade away as I realize that I’m not alone in fighting this demon anymore. Because of this girl who’s attached herself to my shoulder, who saw the broken me time and time again, who was strong enough to share the burden I was carrying, I was able to see all that Sheila was doing to keep everyone’s pain from consuming them. I think that this moment, then and there, allows me to confirm how much I respect this young woman, how much I like her, how much I need her in my life.