Today was the fifth of July. A perfect summer day. Bright blue sky, cicadas chirping in the bushes and trees. Banners and flags fluttering in the lovely summer wind, which carried the smell of wilderness and mountain meadows.

Yes, thought Mamoru Mitsubishi, leader of the renowned Startory Jokers, which were definitely not sponsored by car and motorbike manufacturers, today was a perfect day to be successful.

He stretched himself thoroughly and looked into the mirror again. His chestnut brown hair, which only the best hairdresser in Tokyo got close to, once again looked perfect.

Too bad you had to wear a helmet when cycling!

He smiled once more at his reflection in the mirror, then stepped out of the team bus to bless this perfect summer day with his beautiful face.

"Well? Is everyone ready for today's low mountain stage?"

No one answered him. Yoshiki, the 18 year old miracle of a sprinter, was humming to himself while he was warming up on his road racer. Nobuhiko, who was born with a way too short temper, did not react and performed his warm-up routine while listening to an audiobook.

Mamoru shrugged his shoulders and swung into the saddle of his bike, whose rear wheel had also been fixated on a stand. His toes had been tingling since they left the hotel in Vittel and he was really pumped up to give his best at the Tour de France again today.

Jun Yamaha, his quiet assistant and the team's secret brain, closed his notebook and adjusted his glasses. Whenever there was a race, he exchanged them for tinted sports glasses, which made him look even more intellectual than he already did before.

He had just finished an interview with the Japanese television, which wanted to hear a short statement about today's stage for the 10 pm news. Jun didn't get lost in empty phrases and clearly defined the goal of the day, which the team coach Kenjirou Toyoda had already explained to them in the hotel: to support the climbers Daisuke and Keisuke, so that they would be the first to reach the summit and thus the stage finish at La planche des belles filles.

These two were also busy with a short TV interview. Daisuke, another calm and composed guy, let Keisuke do most of the talking and nodded his head in agreement. Keisuke, on the other hand, was open-minded and talkative, even though his long bangs, which mostly covered his right eye, suggested otherwise.

"Say, Jun, isn't it nice that the two of them seem to slowly get closer?" Mamoru did his warm-up exercise at a low cadence, while Yoshiki went already faster and started to sweat.

Jun nodded and put the notepad on one of the camping tables, which were part of the team's equipment as well as all kinds of bicycle supplies. For him it was time to warm up, too. But first...

"Mamoru..." A fleeting eye movement was enough to make the leader of Team Startory Jokers understand what his assistant meant. Mamoru smiled in amusement. A bunch of Japanese fans had already gathered around the fence. They took pictures with their smartphones and chatted with each other excitedly.

"Showtime, huh?"

Jun nodded. Mamoru stopped and released his cleats from the pedals.

He jumped out of the saddle and stepped towards the fans waving his hand. But suddenly... 

"Oh, I feel so dizzy!" Mamoru put his hand on his forehead theatrically. His knees gave in and he was about to collapse, but Jun, his faithful assistant, was right there and caught him with his strong arms.

"Ah, Jun!" Weak and helpless Mamoru leaned against the chest of his assistant. 

"Mamoru! Are you okay?" Jun gently touched his cheek.

"Oh, Jun, my love, everything is fine. It's just too hot today!"

Mamoru looked down. "But if you're with me … I feel so much better."

The fans started to become restless.

"Here, take a sip from my water bottle.", said Jun. Mamoru took the sports bottle with trembling hands. But before he put it on his lips, he looked at Jun embarrassed. "But Jun, you can't do that. If I drink out of this bottle now, I'll..."

The fans began to scream. The sound of camera flashes became more and more. "...it's like an indirect kiss!" Mamoru took a step aside and turned away in shame. While he brought the bottle to his lips almost in slow motion, the girls in the background fainted in rows.

Mamoru shook his head. "Jun, we both can't do this! I'm married!"

"Yes we can." Jun suddenly pressed himself against Mamoru from behind and wrapped his arms around him. He laid his hand on Mamoru's and led the bottle to his mouth. Mamoru blushed artificially.

"No woman in the world will ever be able to stand a chance against me. Mamoru, just get divorced and take me already!"

"Ah, Jun!" There was something incredibly sensual about the way he drank from the bottle.

"Shut the fuck up!" Nobuhiko tore off his headphones and spit out. 

Everytime the same old story with these two! As soon as fans were around Mamoru and Jun pulled off their media-effective Boys Love Show. It always ended with Mamoru, who was not gay at all and definitely as married and taken as you can get, acting like a whiny Uke, while in reality it was the other way around and Jun the sensitive guy.
Anyway, this whole Uke-Seme story was a big nonsense and the only purpose of it was to give women in Boys Love stories a figure of identification, who like them always spread their legs and took the thing in.
In reality, there was for sure no man who liked to have a magic stick up his ass. That must hurt like hell!

"Nobody likes that!" Nobuhiko said it more to himself than to the others and shifted up a gear to prepare his muscles even further for today's stage.

He lowered his head. "Nobody..."

A drop of sweat was dripping from the tip of his nose, which had turned all red. He didn't know what went into him three days ago. He knew that he had done something absolutely outrageous. 

He had confessed his love to Olav Olsen after Olav had beaten him on the final metres in Liège. 

"Jitsu ha, ore ha Olav no koto ga suki. Suki desu, Olav!" (The truth is, I love you Olav. I love you, Olav!)

"Aaaaaaah, Nobu, you're such an idiot!" He picked up the pace and his cadence became furious. "Baka, Baka, BAKA!"

How could he lose his mind like that?

Mamoru and Jun had finished their little show. Mamoru raised his hands and tried to soothe him. "Just calm down already! We don't want to push you up the last hill, Honda-san!"

Nobuhiko drank a big gulp from the water bottle and spat half of it back down. "My apologies, Mitsubishi-san."

But he knew very well that his thoughts were unable to calm down before he found out if "that thing" was really as great as described in his manga books. And it got him all mixed up that he wanted to do "that thing" with Olav from Team Viking Spades.