The study is dimly lit by a low fire. The walls are lined with shelves of tomes. In the center of the room an audio transmitter emits a pulse of light as it begins projecting holographic letters which read “ABODE CREEPER w/ SCOTT AND KYLE!” From inside the machine a pair of voices resonate clearly-

Scott: “For those just joining us, this is Abode creeper with Scott and Kyle- the Soundscape’s number one limited access program! The show where your handsome hosts: the irresistible Kyle and myself sneak into complete strangers homes with our trusted voice recorders and dictate everything we find all to you, lovely listeners.. I dunno about you Kyle, but I LOVE our job!”

Kyle: “Absolutely Scott! The only thing I love more than hitting the court for some Croquette, is getting my Abode Creep on! OH yeah!”

Scott: “So we’re still here at Magister Lawrence Payne’s mansion! Magus Society Scholar, Archaeologist, and all around intriguing figure- Magister Payne has done it all! And all of those rumors of a secret depraved lifestyle seem to be just that… rumors- is what I would be saying if Kyle and I hadn’t just wandered into what appears to be a filthy underground torture dungeon.”

Kyle: “Would ya just look at all of these crazy devices! Suspended manacles, a rack, a Judas Chair…. Work!!!”

Scott: “You got that right Kyle, with all of these crazy torture devices- some of them covered in suspicious, rusty brown stains… it looks like the Magister has the perfect setup to make his *ahem* guests, Holler in a Squalor!”

Kyle: *snickers* “holler in a squalor.”

Scott: “All joking aside Kyle, I will admit this new development has me just a tad nervous. The nature of our work and all- WE are just the type of people to get trapped here for intruding.”

Kyle: “Don’t be silly Scott! This is all just macabre art. Magister Payne might have a… kinky side, but I’m sure he’s not REALLY a sadist. I mean- have we run into any of those alleged Interns?”

Scott: “I guess not… *shudders* now THAT would be terrifying.”

Kyle: “Scott, you’re not wimping out on me are you?? Think of the fans!”

Scott: “You’re right Kyle, let’s keep exploring!” *door opens*

Scott: “Kyle, there appears to be someone in this cell… Gods Kyle, what do you make of this?”

Kyle: “It appears to be a humanoid- Female and vaguely reptilian… “

Scott: “Those black scales and faintly glowing blue patterns spread out over her body- Kyle! Do you know what this is? She’s a Shadow Nymph! They’re supposed to be master Shapeshifters- and VERY rare!

Kyle: “Is she… alive?”

Scott: “*rustle rustle* she’s breathing- and she appears to be unharmed… just unconscious. And wearing an Iron collar- *door opens* What was that?!”

Kyle: “It’s just some kid- he looks malnourished. *sound of footsteps* hey there's more of them!”

Scott: “Kyle that’s-”

Kyle: “Hey you all don’t look so good- maybe some fresh air might help. I know! How bout some Croque- Hey! What are you doing?!” (sound of a struggle, metal on metal, electricity, and buzz saws)

Kyle: “Aaaaaargh! Nooooooooo!”

Scott: “Kyyyyyle! Hey! Get away from him- nooooo! Please Stop it hurts!-”

*transmission ends*

The transmission from the confiscated audio crystal ends and The solitary man in the crimson recliner casts his gaze upon the naked, humanoid curled up and immobile beside his chair. He chuckles softly to himself and lights another cigar.

…..………………………………………...............................................

The interior the carriage has been synthesized to feel completely stationary. Had one awoken to find themselves suddenly in the lavish cabin, one would have to look out the window to know that you were being drawn at prodigious speed by a team of equestrian automatons. The three Pirates sit against the three walls not occupied by the solitary window, each one having a bench to themselves.

“This is so nice!” Exclaims Aphrodite, clapping her hands in delight. “It is too bad we had to get in that firefight with the hotel guards to secure it. It is good we had our masks on, and thankfully they didn’t make us kill them.” She giggles. “But my, what a nice carriage! And these are actual wind up horses!”

Anemone is predictably unimpressed. “It’s… Bourgeois.” Aphrodite quirks an eyebrow. “Oh? Isn’t it interesting, you calling anything Bourgeois?” she asks. “Whatever do you mean by that?” Anemone replies in a tone of polite interest. “Just that- Remind me… the Sthenos...” Her eyes find the Gorgon head medallion which has escaped from between Anemone’s ample breasts. “Weren’t your family like… the elite Queensguard in Titania? Before the… you know- banishment?”

Anemone retorts, “Doesn’t your father, the Viscount think you’re studying abroad right now?” Aphrodite giggles again, “I have told no lies- what could be a better learning experience than traveling the world as we are doing?” Their gazes meet and although their tones are light, there is an almost palpable electricity in the air between them. “Girls, Girls, you’re both disaffected nobility.” Percival intercedes with a patronizing wave.

“Don’t even get me started on your lineage Percival- it is convoluted and full of tropes.” Aphrodite shoots back , and the captain holds his hands up in surrender. “Wait- Percival’s Lineage? You mean his father, the dilf?” Anemone asks, which causes Percival to make a face. “No, no- this is about his mother’s side- it really is quite… scandalous.” Aphrodite replies, sounding self satisfied. “Aaaand I’m the only one who knows.” She adds teasingly.

Anemone rounds on Percival “Why does she-” but their banter is interrupted by a thud from the trunk. “Our friend is awake.” Percival observes. “I knew I should have used a double dose.” Anemone grumbles, “Yeah, and possibly put him in a coma… you were right to play it safe. He wants Lancaster unharmed.” The atmosphere shifts at the mention of He. “Yeah… that asshole.” Says Anemone- “Do you think he’ll hold up his part of the bargain?”

Percival stretches as he yawns, his long limbs almost touching the cabin’s roof before returning to his relaxed slouch. “He’d better- or we’ll kill the shit out of him.” he says casually, and for a few moments, no one says anything else. Finally Anemone breaks the silence, “You’re really worried about her aren’t you?” She reaches over to stroke the top of the Captain’s head, which is buzzed short like a soldier’s. “It’s okay- We are too. We’re going to get her out of there.”

Percival nods gravely. “You’re right.” Aphrodite moves forward to peer out the window directly across from her. “Uh… guys? We have arrived. It’s a big creepy looking manor… with a metal gate… and there is a small army of malnourished adolescents in front of the gate. They look awful, and- wait why are they wearing iron collars?” Percival’s gaze intensifies, “Those…” He says, “must be the interns."