I try forcing a smile. "She sits next to me in class too," I say, looking at the table and using my fingernail to scratch off a hardened, smashed rice grain on the table. "We... um... we used to kind of talk a lot, but... I don't know what happened this year," I lie about the last part.

"Oh, so you two sat next to each other too," Alex says. "Were you friends with her?"

I shrug. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Were you close? How long have you known her?"

Alex is asking a lot of questions kind of quickly. Is he getting jealous or something? I mean, I do know that he likes her, but don't forget that she likes him too.

"I've know her since preschool," I answer, making eye contact with him, but I quickly look away. I find that I can't look at Alex directly without it starting to feel awkward. "We were close," I add.

Alex nods. "I don't know if this is personal or anything, but you said that you were friends? What happened?"

I look down at the table. "Um, I really don't want to talk about it." I just remember my sister and everything that has happened because of it.

It's silent between us for a few seconds, and all I hear is the bits and pieces of the conversation between other students. Soon Alex sighs. "Are you sure there's nothing wrong? I mean, you seem really down today. I didn't mean to be nosy before—"

"I said there's nothing wrong," I say, interrupting him. "So please, just..." I pause, starting to struggle for words for some reason. I look at my shoes and start fidgeting with my nails, feeling my face getting hotter. I can just imagine my face getting all red right now, with Alex just sitting there watching me helplessly, not knowing what to do. "... j-just..."

As the seconds of awkward silence grow larger, I just feel my eyes start to water up. "Shit," I whisper, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. As if I wasn't crying enough yesterday.

Alex must think I'm so pathetic, but maybe it's because I really am. I can't take one fucking sad thing without crying, and I hate it. I hate everything that has happened, honestly. I just wish it was back to the way it used to be. Well, with Alex still here.

"H-hey, do you want me to leave you alone, or..." Alex says quietly. "I don't know if you want that, but... I can stay if you want me to."

"Please stay," I say, still not making eye contact with him. I look up. "Please."

Alex stands up. "Let's go outside. Somewhere with a little less people."

I stand up to and follow him outside of the cafeteria. It's a sunny, cloudless day with a slight warm breeze blowing. Alex walks to the side of the school by the football field and swimming pool, an area that Alex should know well. He pretty much comes here every afternoon to practice for swimming, mainly for his competition coming up next week. He hasn't asked me to go and see him swim, but I won't go if he doesn't ask me to.

"There's this place by here that I sometimes come to when I want to be alone," Alex says, walking behind a large tree behind the field. He sits down under the tree and I sit beside him, with a good foot of space between us. We're silent for a little while, and Alex finally asks, "Do you still not want to tell me?"

I don't say anything for a few seconds. "It's my sister."

"I know I've been really pesky about this, but... I just want to help," he says.

"I know," I reply quietly. With corner of my eye, I see Alex shift a little closer to me, and I slightly lean towards him as another warm tear streams down my face.

"Hey, um... I know it can be hard loosing a family member," Alex says. I don't say anything, but Alex continues anyway. "I don't know if this would help you feel better, but... when I was nine or so, my mom and dad... they split up. They got into this... terrible fight after getting angry at each other everyday before that. So my mom just wanted him to leave because she couldn't stand him. My dad didn't really want her either. I still don't really know everything right now. But anyway... the day before my dad moved away, my mom asked me if I was fine staying with her instead of dad. I still loved both of them, and they both said they still loved me. So the day my dad did move away, I was... devastated. So was my older brother. He's about three years older than me. And all we could do that night was comfort each other. And then almost every day after that, we would call our dad, and he answered most of the time.

"But then he started answering less and less, and our mom started distracting us from calling him whenever we asked her to, so he kind of just... left my life. He never called and we never called him because my mom told us not to. But I still missed him." Alex turns his head to look at me. "I was the only thing my brother really had left. He was the only thing I had left, because my mom wouldn't really want to talk about my dad at all. But she did assure us that they both loved us. Anyway, we were just... there for each other. And... right now... I want to be here for you."

I wipe my eyes, which are probably now puffy and red, and look at Alex. I really want to say something or just do something, but I feel like anything I do will be awkward.

"Thank you for that," I mumble. "I mean it."

Alex smiles a little. "I know you do."