"I'm sorry to ask you this, but I'm getting surgery on my butt next week and I'm going to need help tending the wound," Jer said to his roommates. He looked down at his feet, nervous. His sister who lived just across the street had already told him that she wouldn't help him. Of course, their mother had quickly set that straight, but she couldn't help him every time he needed it.

Not surprisingly, all five of Jer's roommates immediately refused. Steph was frustrated.

"Fine then, I'll do it," she said.

"What," came the collective reply from Jer's roommates.

"I already know of someone who lost a son to a toe infection," Steph said as she crossed her arms. "I'm not losing my boyfriend to a butt infection. If none of you will do it, then I will."

"We'll do it," one of Jer's roommates replied. "We don't want to be the reason that you lose your purity."

Steph scoffed at the reasoning, but didn't say anything. As much as she loved Jer, she was pretty sure cleaning a butt wound would not be tempting to her. But if that's what got someone to take care of him, then so be it.

---

Jer was standing in Steph's kitchen, staring at nothing. He had just gotten back from his surgery and Steph was making dinner for them. 

"Do you think you can stir this?" Steph needed the butter and flour in her pot stirred some more before she could continue with the sauce.

"Is it hard?"

"No, just tell me if it starts to burn."

"Got it." Jer took the wooden spoon from Steph and started stirring. 

Steph worked around the kitchen, getting other ingredients prepared before soon checking on the butter-flour mixture. It was dark brown.

"Sweetie, that's burned."

"Oh...what color is butter supposed to be?"

"Yellow..."

Steph chuckled at Jer's memory lapse. 

"Okay, why don't you just put a little bit of ranch dressing in this bowl while I restart the sauce," Steph suggested.

She handed Jer the bottle of ranch before turning to the stove to melt some more butter. When she turned around, she saw Jer holding the ranch upside down, the bowl nearly overflowing, and no indication that Jer was going to stop.

"Jer, are you high right now?"

"Oh yes, very high."

"Get out of the kitchen."

---

Steph walked into the living room to find Jer sleeping on the couch. There was enough room between Jer and the edge of the couch for another person, so Steph laid down next to him and woke him with a kiss.

"Dinner's ready," Steph said softly.

Jer hummed before pulling Steph in for another kiss. Their lips moved in a familiar rhythm as Jer continued the kiss. Suddenly, Jer's lips stopped moving. Steph pulled away and Jer let out a snore. 

"Did you seriously just fall asleep?!" Steph was aghast.

Jer blinked his eyes open and gave Steph a goofy grin.

"Is dinner ready?"

"I can't." Steph rolled off the couch, laughing. "Come eat, you goof."