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I'm the Prince's beard

NO WAR NO SHIP?

NO WAR NO SHIP?

May 05, 2020

Why was my gay baby standing on my doorstop with his love interest, crashing my tea party, when they could have been off smooching behind a bush somewhere?

MEN… I don’t get them.

“Thank you for that Hans, you may let them in, I will be there in just a moment. Escort them to the guest room, and brew some tea, please”

The Sebastian that isn’t named Sebastian but Hans, bowed and took his leave, going out the same way he came. I curtsied towards my guests, said I was sorry to leave them in such a manner and rushed out, a dignified rushing of course, to the guest room

What did prince Horus want? I hadn’t found a proper beard yet, I had my own marriage problems to think about, and this most definitely didn’t happen in the original novel.

What to do what to do.

However, this was a good time to try out my etiquette lessons. Duchess Burtwell had drilled royal manners into me ever since she heard about my run-in with the prince that I accidentally let slip.

“I am sorry to make You wait, Prince, sunshine of the Empire,” I courtesy while nodding my head at Prince Horus sitting high and mighty,

“And You, Sir Balliol” I courtesy again.

“How may I have the honor of serving my prince today?” I continue, moving over to the opposite couch to my guests.

I almost can’t stand being more polite today after already having done it hours on end at the tea party, albeit it was rather fun.

Prince Horus waits a bit for me to take my place, as I place the folds of my dress appropriately, and then look up.

“Thank you for taking your time to see us, Lady Amy. It is solely Sir Windsor that has business with you, as I just wanted to get a pleasant outing in the nice weather we have today. I will leave it to him to explain”

Eeeeh, who is this overly polite person? Where did my tsundere go?

Aaaaaaah, I see, his eyes looking at Sir Windsor gives me all the explanation I need. Seems like I can build my ship properly after all. Windrus for the win!

“Yes, I am sorry to disturb your ladyship’s tea party. Lady Matilda is a good friend of mine, and when she told me she was going to your tea party I got reminded of a certain necklace I found after Prince Horus and you left the royal garden, and as such, I thought it might be yours, and wanted to return it. I asked Lady Matilda if she could ask for me, but as You might know, she is a bit headstrong, and told me to do it myself”

He took out an all too well-known necklace. Plotdevice!

This DEFINITELY was not in the original novel. Which means I can’t take it. I risked my life to at least have that one part of the novel run as smoothly as possible, and I’m not about to let my efforts go to waste.

“Oh, my gracious what a lovely necklace. However, I am sad to say it is not mine. I am sorry to see your kind efforts go to waste and sincerely hope you find the right owner!”

Oh goodness, my acting skills really have improved. I hope, with this, it will get just a bit on track.

Looking up at Sir Windsor, I feel like I catch a death-glare from the Prince out of the corner of my eye, but it might just be my imagination.

Sir Windsor and Prince Horus take a bow, apologize for disturbing, and get on their way back. When I get back to the tea party all of the ladies have already left and the maids are cleaning up. Damn, I was planning on snacking a bit more.

As I walk back to my room after a tiring day, an ever-approaching thought and discomfort creeps closer as I think about today’s events. The fact that I don’t remember how Plotdevice was used in the original novel, despite naming and designing the damn thing myself, is concerning.

It SHOULD be on the right path since it is in Sir Windsor’s hands. So far, so good.

Other than that is the beard-search. All of the ladies today seemed fine, but there is also the concern of my own marriage. If I remember correctly there is about 20 years difference with my parent’s age, and this IS nobility we are talking about, so it is quite normal with large age-gaps.

I don’t wannaaaaaaaaa. What if I end up with someone bald and sleazy in his sixties? Clearly my parent’s doesn’t care about how well I’ll get along with a future partner, but only that I marry someone of high standing.

Also, I’m too young for marriage… Or I would be… In my own world…

Even though the beard-search might have to be held in another way, I did get along and have fun with the ladies. Quite well-chosen if I do say so myself.

Hmm, okay, one thing at the time Amy. What can I control.

I have the knowledge of the novel. Not much help at all since this is the side characters empire.

I also have the knowledge from my ordinary life. I did read A LOT. Other than that…

Huh? Wait a bit, aren’t I forgetting something even more important?

The main Empire from the story is going to wage war here… Some time after Prince Horus is discovered and imprisoned in the original timeline.

They win easily because the Prince Chaker is a horrible emperor, but it’s still letting the main character show his worth, and be allowed to marry the main heroine even though she is a commoner… Which means, NO WAR, NO SHIP?

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Lazuli
Lazu

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Okay, I'm just gonna update twice a week, since I keep writing, and waiting to publish isn't good for my mental health... xD
SO HERE WE GO!
Tuesdays and Fridays

Comments (2)

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Nahera
Nahera

Top comment

Why do I get the strange feeling it actually wasn't the best idea to not take the necklace back 😶

2

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I'm the Prince's beard
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In the novel Amy is reading, her favorite BL-Fanfic-writer-turned-author kills the only gay representative?
How dare the author do that, forgetting all about the BL fanfic roots from which they came?
But all of a sudden, in best isekai-style Amy is INSIDE the novel and decides to save the prince and his gay ass!
But how will Amy manage when she suck at proper etiquette, doesn't have any BL books, and can't have pant-less days eating chips?

Just to be clear, a "beard" is slang for a woman either dating or marrying a gay man to make him seem not-gay
(CURRENTLY ON HIATUS)

AUDIOBOOK LINK:
https://1drv.ms/f/s!AsJZz-sCvRw_h9Rb-5SOjrMOah4meg?e=jinSYw

PASSWORD: audiobook
(This is an Inksgiving 2021 goal. Only first season will be available as audiobook. Episodes are still being uploaded but I didn't want to make people wait any longer for the stuff I actually had ready)
(Blooper reel + audiofile with the entire first season will be available later)

//Cover art by @Meoyooo_ on twitter
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NO WAR NO SHIP?

NO WAR NO SHIP?

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