Eliza was feeling warm and tingly throughout her limbs. The fourth drink she had chugged at the end of the dinner was apparently catching up to her like the tortoise in the fable. Slowly, but steadily overtaking her. Her head was heavy and resting against the back of the couch as she rag-dolled across the sofa.

“Oh come on!” She yelled at the TV as the woman spun around in her pristine white gown while spouting a cheerful “this is the one!” “Not another mermaid style one.”

Mickey groaned as they had somehow ended up watching Say Yes to the Dress on late night TV. “Jesus, Jessica.” She shook a fist at the brunette on screen. “All these ladies have no taste!”

“No one looks good in them!” Eliza continued to rage. “It’s like the tackiest, worst parts of two dresses stitched together.”

Mickey grinned at her before reaching a hand out. “You’re drunk.”

Eliza scowled. “Yeah. Drunk on how terrible these life choices are. A bodice like that completely ruins her silhouette!”

Mickey flashed her a mischievous look. “What kind of wedding dress would you go for then?”

Eliza sat up straight and was zapped out of her revelry. “Well, for one I don’t look good in white.”

“Liar!” Mickey cheered.

“So I’m thinking of a bright yellow dress. Maybe with a bee theme? Bee themed weddings should be all the rage.”

“Oh yeah, sure.”

Eliza flopped back over, “yeah. Yellow ball gown, and we release a hoard of bees into the crowd right before I give my vows.”

“Very festive.”

“And with all the bees swarming my parents won’t have to watch me kiss anyone.”

“Love it, devious.” Mickey was covering her mouth as she laughed. “So I guess you’ll technically be wearing some sort of bee suit?”

“Oh yes.” Eliza rotated over toward Mickey who had her belly still showing and long legs sticking out toward the floor. “And then my betrothed has to risk the bees to kiss me as we take off the helmets. It’s romantic.”

Mickey was still laughing. “I for one, can’t wait to attend your very dangerous wedding. I’ll bring the ointment.”

“Thank you, that's all ask… What about you? What kind of dress do you want?” They had all but forgotten about the woman trying to convince her mom that a 10-foot long bridal train was traditional.

Mickey leaned in closer to her, eyes focused and dark. “Who says I’m going to wear a dress?” She tossed her head to the side with her lips spreading prettily, “I serve mean looks in a vest and pantsuit, man.”

Eliza gave a small jump as if electrocuted. She closed her eyes against the image of Mickey in a suit and squirmed away, “I bet you do… Though I’ll probably never get married myself. You’ll have to do it for the both of us.”

Mickey frowned at her. “Oh?”

Eliza shrugged and felt the warmth still dripping down her belly. “Too much hassle. And the paperwork!”

“You seem like the type of person who likes paperwork.” Mickey settled back down beside her.

“Maybe… I mean, dating would be easier if I could just fill out some request forms and a date showed up in the mail with my complete checklist of traits I'm looking for.” Eliza muttered to herself, ruminating on the ideal. “No hassle.”

“Sounds boring.” Mickey kicked her. “Come on, learning about someone new is half the fun of it. A checklist? Where’s the risk in that? Where’s the intrigue? That’s like missing the whole point.” She sang and Eliza watched her with the awe of someone discovering a rococo painting for the first time.

“Huh.” Eliza pushed some of her hair back that had fallen loose. “Well, I’m not dating now either so I guess it doesn’t matter. Request forms or not.”

“Why not?” Mickey sounded almost offended by Eliza’s statement.

Eliza gave her a sharp look. “I dunno, why aren’t you?”

Mickey made a face at her. “You first.”

Eliza sighed heavily. “I have to focus on school. That sort of thing. It’s senior year and I’ve barely started my honors thesis and then I’ll have internships to apply for.”

Mickey put her hands in the air. “Can’t you just date some other nerd to study with?” She winked, “you know. Study. With.” She winked again, “help with the studies.”

“Stop winking.” Eliza chided. “I get it.”

“Come on! You’re so cute, and I know you’re super smart too and work hard. You could get any nerd you like.” She pushed on her shoulder. “Just put yourself out there.”

“Dating is more than just being smart and hard working.” Eliza did not address the fact that Mickey had called her cute. Was Mickey drunk too? It was hard to tell. “It’s complicated…”

Mickey sighed, “because you’re waiting for the perfect person?”

Eliza rolled her eyes, “No. I’m not some perfect honors student waiting for another perfect--”

“You are!” Mickey wrinkled her nose. “You ooze gold star enger--”

“I'm not! I can’t even masturbate correctly.” Eliza regretted the words the second they left her mouth. She sat up straight and wanted to crawl inside the couch the moment Mickey eyed her after she said that.

“Huh,” Mickey frowned with some calculating look in her gaze.

Eliza’s face burned and she tensed until she thought her back was spasming. “See?” She sniffed, “I’m not perfect. I’m stressed all the time and I see a therapist for my panic attacks and worry constantly about the future and my parents and if I’m doing the right thing in life.” She should have just stopped at the masturbation part.

Mickey’s eyes were wide and she looked Eliza up and down. “It’s okay.”

Eliza crossed her arms over her chest and wiggled her way into the far corner of the couch. “And I can’t even masturbate.”

Mickey sighed and crawled over to her on her hands and knees. Eliza jumped as she felt a hand pushed her hair back from her face. “I’m sorry.” She said steadily. “I shouldn’t have said you were perfect. Everyone’s got problems.”

Eliza looked down at her feet. “I know, I know, compared to other people mine aren’t that big a deal.”

“They are!” Mickey said earnestly. “Geez, Eliza, everyone's problems are important. Even if they can’t flick their bean--”

“Mickey!”

“Sorry, sorry. We’re having a real conversation. Right.” She drew a deep breath, “my point is, that all sounds like it sucks. I’m sorry.”

Eliza sighed and shook her head. “Everyone’s important. I know.” She miserably watched the TV. “Even women who choose ugly mermaid style dresses on TV.”

“Exactly.” Mickey was still far too close to her. “Though honestly it is just a matter of practice.”

“Dress choosing?”

Mickey’s eyes dragged down Eliza’s body and down to her pelvis. Mickey sat back, “I do it all the time, obviously. For recreation and my job.”

“I don’t need to know this.” Eliza’s voice broke on each of those words.

“You just have to build up to it, yeah? It’s all in the build up.” Mickey sounded like she had her teacher voice on. “You have to treat yourself right. Tease yourself, really get into it.”

Eliza’s lungs burned as she realized she was holding her breath. Mickey was right there across her talking about touching yourself. She needed to stop this.

“Too many people just dive right in, even in bed, they think just touching the clit and maybe sucking on a titty or two is enough. I mean, so many men suck in bed because they think that’s all there is to it.”

Eliza was frozen. She needed to move. She needed to stop this.

“But you’ve got to listen to the body, to your body, and it’s not all about the orgasm, it’s about the play. The little signals, the details, that’s why they call it ‘taking someone apart,’ you’ve got to do it piece by piece, teasing, listening, making ‘em beg for it.”

“Well alright.” Eliza said sharply and was biting the inside of her mouth so hard she was sure it was about to bleed.

Mickey teetered closer to her, her dark hair was loose and tickled her chin. Her freckles were small speckles behind her makeup. Her lips slightly parted, it sounded like she was speaking from out of a dream, “Make yourself work for it. You can do that, right?”

“Yeah…” Eliza was in a trance. She fell forward. She wasn't entirely sure what she was about to do, but the moment was there. Hanging in the air like a Christmas ornament catching the light and begging to be touched. She fell toward Mickey in a swoop of movement and sudden impulsive temptation.

Mickey pulled back.

“Hey,” she said and turned around to pick up the remote and turn the TV off. “Don’t you have class tomorrow?”

Eliza wanted to bury herself in the sand and never come up for air again. She wanted to be submerged in an ice bath. She wanted to transfer her consciousness to a computer system that had no feelings and might possibly destroy humanity.

She wanted to fall through the floor right then and there.

“I do.” She stood up before her drunk stupid brain could make more stupid decisions like almost trying to kiss her roommate. “Good night.”

“Good night.” She didn’t look behind her to see Mickey’s face as she ran away. “And Eliza?” She heard Mickey calling after her as she fled. “Take care of yourself.”