Prince Horus continued to talk about Prince Chaker. How unlucky his brother was. How he, himself, was raised with love and affection and understanding from their mother.

“My mother knew about my secret. But despite that, she never said anything. She never made me feel wrong. She never tried to change me. She just hugged me and told me to be careful” He said.

Hmmm… Now that I think about it… Has he ever called ‘his secret’ anything other than ‘his secret’? We have only talked about it a few times, but even so. Is he in denial?

“It’s okay to be gay. You should be free to love who you love” I said, once again just saying whatever I feel like without thinking stuff through.

He looks at me like his head turned into a question mark.

“Ge-i? Whatever are you talking about, Lady Amy? I do not see how that has anything to do with anything”

Eh, huh? What? Wait… His secret… Are we even talking about the same secret? What secret is he talking about if it isn’t him being all lovey dovey with Sir Windsor? Does he have ANOTHER secret?

Nononono, that can’t be. The only thing I ever told him I knew about was that. Even though it was indirect, it was still direct enough to be that.

Hmm… Wait a second. The way he said the word. Could it be? Do they not have a word for being gay in this world?

OH AUTHOR, HOW YOU FAIL ME YET AGAIN. NOT ONLY DID YOU BETRAY THE GAYS, YOU LITERALLY DIDN’T EVEN PUT DOWN A WORD FOR BEING IT!

Thinking about it, I don’t think it’s mentioned with a word directly in the story either. Everything was only insinuated and hinted at. Both that Prince Horus was gay, and that it was the reason he was thrown to prison.

“Lady Amy?” His very confused voice drags me back to reality where I realize I have been walking around like a madman possessed by a monkey.

“Uhm, yea, eh” I stammer, being too confused by all of this. Is it so illegal that even just having a word for it is a sin?

“Lady Amy!” His voice is sharp now.

I sit down, calming myself. How should I explain this…

“I am terribly sorry, it just took me by surprise” I said, not really thinking my answer made much sense. I was just saying stuff.

“You know… Being queer!” I tried, scrambling for something I could use.

“Lady Amy, you have been talking nonsense for a while now…” He responds dryly.

Right… If they don’t have the word ‘gay’ they wouldn’t have the word ‘queer’ either…

“Uhm, it’s like, being attracted to someone that has the same parts as you” I say, realizing I’m making it sound more complicated than it needs to be.

“I mean, being attracted to someone of the same gender” I correct myself. I didn’t realize how much I needed the labels and not the explanations in my old world. This is hard.

“I understand” he says with doubt.

…Do you really?

“Like how I probably like the author! Though it’s a bit different in my case” I say, only hearing what I’m blurting out in my panic once it’s already out.

“Author? What are all of these utterly weird words you keep saying, Lady Amy?”

HUH? THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE A WORD FOR AN AUTHOR?

Well… Speaking about it, I didn’t actually see an author name on that one history children’s book. And other than that, I haven’t really seen many books…

My head hurts. I’m confused.

“Lady Amy, it seems like you are too tired to keep up with this conversation, so I will leave you to rest for now. I bid you a good night”

Oh, there it was. The long-missed polite rudeness!

Hmm… This conversation took several unexpected turns. I don’t know where to start or end at all.

Prince Chaker is a tyrant for a reason. The alternative way of teaching has me both curious and terrified, but I could hear Prince Horus didn’t want to go more in depth than he had to.

Then there is the thing about the words lacking in this world. Maybe the entire language is different from the ones I know? I just didn’t notice because I was able to communicate, read and write without any trouble.

It’s a theory, at least.

But why do they not have the word ‘author’? Even if I haven’t seen super many, there still are books in this world. So what exactly do they call the person writing them?

There are also plays. I got told this earlier. So what do you call the people writing those?

Aah, I’m just tired, I want to sleep.

Just as I think that, I get reminded of Sir Windsor and feel the guilt rising again.

Then I remember that I have to see the ‘I’m sad he exists’ person tomorrow as well, and the guilt is overthrown by rage.

After imagining his face on my pillow and smashing it several times, I fall asleep relaxed and pleased.