April 12, 2013

Today is a pretty standard day. It’s Friday again, so I had to do another shift in the Lawson I work in. George started to become more rigorous in orienting me in my new job. He said that I wasn’t doing badly, but he won’t applaud me either. It’s a very standard thing for George to say. Sir Mark was also here today, but he was just cooped up in his office inside of the shop. I didn’t even know there were offices on the other side of convenient stores, or in any stores for that matter. I found that revelation a relevant thought to be thinking about in life. Everything is just for show. The real people who are controlling your life is the one writing cheques inside of dimly lit rooms that had shoddy wallpapers.

That man Lucas Buckley came today. I flinched when I saw him, but he didn’t really notice me. However, I was on cashier duties when he arrived, so meeting him and looking at him eye-to-eye will be unavoidable. George realized this and just looked at me with eyes that say “you okay?” I just nodded at him, and he nodded back, continuing to rearrange the shelves or whatever the fuck he’s doing at that time. Lucas Buckley then approached me while carrying a soda and a few snacks. He’s talking to someone on the phone. It didn’t look good; Lucas had this nasty scowl on his face. He was also practically shouting at the person on the other side of the call. I feel like if he weren’t in a public space, Lucas would let all of his anger out of his chest right now. I would hate to be on the other side of this call. Especially once Lucas is back in a private area again.

When our eyes met, he just nodded at me once and gave me a tiny brief smile before I punched his items on the counter. That’s about it. He left, I went on with my day, and nothing terrible happened. As it very well should be.

This moment just proves that the fear I have regarding Lucas Buckley is unwarranted. I am just giving myself further stress than I needed. Lucas is not here to hurt me; he’s living his life with ebbs and flows like all of us. All worries I have about him are just the handiworks of my head playing tricks on me again. Lucas doesn’t even care about me. Thank god for that.

Veronica also came today, and she stayed for a few minutes to chat. However, contrary to what I expected, she didn’t talk about Plural Heights or anything about the small forum that she invited me to go to. She just asked me how my day was and listened to me as I recounted the entire thing. I didn’t even get to learn anything about her. She seemed like she just wanted me to have a splendid time and joked around before she left. It was a beautiful moment that I never expected I would get from a customer. Ever. Or from anyone, for that matter.

Things went on as usual, and while I’m working, I realized that everything just moves so slowly. I feel as if the universe just halted the typical operations of time. That really made my day feel a lot more like a drag. George probably knows about this feeling, too, which is why he always has his earphones on whenever he’s not on cashier duties. I wonder what he’s listening to? Probably some kind of loud metal songs. I kinda wanna ask him, but I don’t wanna pry. Plus, he might lash out to me and tell me I should just get back to work—such a scary fella.

Sir Mark also talked to me today. He asked me about how I am feeling and if I’m integrating myself into the workforce properly. I told him it’s hard for me at first, but I’m slowly getting in there because of George’s support. Sir Mark then talked to me some more about job-related stuff before returning to his office on the other side of the shop. He patted George’s shoulder before he left.

The shift then ended on a boring note. Not many people came in today, which is weird for a Friday. I actually realized that there were a lot more customers during my last shift, even though that was a Monday. George said that it’s because people are usually starting their days on Monday, so they’re too lazy to do anything. Meanwhile, Friday is when people would rather visit better places instead of being stuck at a convenience store. I didn’t quite get it, but I just nodded and agreed. It’s weird how life works sometimes.

When I went home, I realized that the house is in chaos again. My uncle is not at home, and Janine is shouting at Ivan once more. I came in the middle of it, so I don’t know what kick-started this event. I also realized that Monique is crying, I think? It’s a complete mess. I wasn’t even inside the house yet, but I’m already hearing them clamoring. It seems like Ivan is done with being the understanding son this time and is also shouting back at Janine. From my understanding, it has something to do with the songs that Ivan listens to again. Janine is that kind of person. It feels like she’s naturally wired to be nosy, and it’s biologically impossible for her not to snoop on someone else’s business. I stopped in my tracks in front of the house because I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to come inside while this fight is still happening.

Before I could open the front door, it already swung open forcibly, making me almost lose my balance and fall. There I saw Ivan’s teary-eyed face as he quite literally kicked the door open and rushed out of the house. His face was so red, and his teeth were gritting so hard that I could almost hear them grind. When Ivan saw me, he immediately stopped moving and showed a saddened expression right away. He hugged me and said, “Welcome back.” before tapping my shoulders and fleeing out of the house.

At this moment, I could hear a tremendous commotion happening inside of the house, like something being thrown into the ground and large objects thrown all over the place. Monique is still crying while this is happening.

I asked Ivan if he’s okay. He just wiped his face off in response and ran as swiftly as he could away from the house. I told him if he wanted me to come with him. He said that he would be fine, and it would be better for me if I won’t go with him. He said that he would go somewhere that I would hate to see. I didn’t understand what he’s saying. As usual, I just nodded and watched him run as far as he could.

When I came inside, I saw Janine sitting on the floor of the living room with a glass full of wine. She was crying while looking into nothingness. Monique is nowhere to be found, so she’s probably in her room. Janine didn’t notice me enter the house, which I am pleased to see. I immediately went to Ivan’s room after this and saw that they had locked it from the outside. I wonder what happened there.

As I’m writing this, I am hearing Janine sobbing while talking to my uncle. It doesn’t sound good. My uncle hated what had happened. They’re fighting all about it again. It seemed like my uncle is already fed up with Janine doing whatever the fuck she wants while he’s gone for a job. My uncle asked Janine as to where Ivan went, but his bitch of a wife just kept telling him that she was the one who’s more hurt about the entire thing and that my uncle should care more about her than that, in Janine’s own words, ‘devil son’ of theirs. I think I heard my uncle slap her. It doesn’t look good at all.