While the voice took charge of this body, I decided to sit back and enjoy the ride. I quickly accepted the possibility of having a personality disorder. It’s the only explanation that has made the most sense in a month. If only I could snack while enjoying this show.
Alexandra is clearly upset about my presence. I guess those with multiple personalities, they never meet each other. I don’t know anything about the disorder but I feel like I’m the most rational one. Alexandra’s emotions are kind of everywhere. She’s depressed, happy, angry, and so much more at the same time. Her thoughts seem to only revolve around the Duke.
This more elegant version of me, Alexandra the Duchess, stomps her feet with grace. This woman’s walk screams I’m wealthy, educated, and better than you. I could tell that this personality would be a pain in the ass, she’s going to be bossy.
“How could you?” Alexandra shouted as she entered the Duke’s bedroom.
“How could I? What do you mean?” He asked as he stood up from his chair. The Duke’s robe was partially open, revealing his chiseled chest and he had no bottoms on.
“Elias, you must help her,” Alexandra pleaded.
“Help who?” His expression changed. The Duke was concerned at first but now he seems upset.
“There is someone inside of me. Some woman who hails from Florida. Her soul has been ripped out of her body and placed into mine.”
Alexandra approached him to get a better look at his face. She looked into his eyes. He didn’t respond, he just stood there with an expression of disappointment. Alexandra walked past him to assess herself in a mirror. For a brief moment she thought that there was something wrong with her face or body. She was relieved to see that there was nothing physically out of place. However, at least to me, there was something clearly different. My eyes are brown, I woke up here with brown eyes. The eyes in the mirror are bright blue, just like the portraits hanging around the estate.
Alexandra continued to look at her reflection not noticing the Duke approaching. He embraced her from behind and started to undress her. Here I was thinking that I’d get more information. Instead I was seated front row for an x-rated movie. It was clear that Alexandra couldn’t refuse this guy. This body responded so easily to him. While they're going at it I have to figure out a way to get control.
“I wonder if you both will be able to feel it,” said the Duke.
“We both,” repeated Alexandra.
While I was searching for a way to gain control it seems that the Duke was digging himself into a hole.
“This other woman inside me. She’s in me because of you?” Alexandra asked. “You put her inside of me!”
Alexandra pushes him away from her. Then she grabbed at his robe, pulling him closer. Jealousy smells like rotten milk and I’m being buried underneath it. Unfortunately, I could see Alexandra’s thoughts. She felt betrayed but she wanted the Duke no matter what. I don’t care what they do, I don’t want to be here.
“You are going to die without her,” he said.
“Die?” Alexandra scoffed. “You don’t care if I live or die.”
This is a whole soap opera.
“I care but I don’t want you without her.”
“What makes her so important that you would lust after her instead of your own wife?”
“It’s simple. That woman is who I fell in love with at the very beginning. You are just an unstable fragment piece.”
“What is this nonsense?” She yelled into his face.
The Duke grabbed her by the shoulders, his gaze cold, and his grip was so tight that she winced.
“Long ago there existed a very powerful Divine. She hated humanity and wanted to destroy it but the great Spiritus would not allow it.This Divine was fragmented scattered into seven parallel worlds as punishment.” He let go of my shoulders to return to his seat. “You Alexandra are the fragment of sensitivity. The fragment within you is known as the heart fragment,” he kneeled over, head into his hands. The Duke appeared to be defeated.
“So I am supposed to live with her inside my head for the rest of my life?” she shouted.
“Are you not listening? Is that your only concern?”
He stood up from his chair. The Duke looked at her with disgust or us, and he looked pained at the same time. He was trying to contain himself, attempting not to have an outburst. The words he wanted to say weigh heavily on his tongue. That body of his vibrated with anger but his scent stayed consistent. He’s been the first person I could not smell the emotions of. I don’t like that. The only scent he emits is what I smelled before, earthy, the smell you get after it’s rained.
“Alexandra Martell,” he sighed. “You will die if the both of you are not mended.”
“Find another way!” She whined, dropping herself to the ground. “I will not compete for your affection and I don’t want to change.”
To my surprise and that of Alexandra’s, a single tear fell from the Duke’s cheek. He looked into our eyes and thought of what to say. This was a fragile moment. His words could easily put Alexandra in a much worse state than just being a brat. Tread lightly was what he was thinking. I am certain of that. As he was probably thinking of what to say next I was trying to piece it all together.
Everyone appears to have been in the loop except for Alexandra. How long Abigail and Thomas knew, I don’t know. Cassandra and the rest were being honest. Even the Duke to some extent tried to relay the truth by testing the waters. I am a fragment piece and so is Alexandra. We are pieces that are supposed to come together, clearly that didn’t work. Instead we are two people existing in one body so something may have gone wrong. Though the Duke and some of the staff desire us to be put back together. I don’t know if I want wild emotions. It’s clear that Alexandra can’t control herself or maybe she just chooses not to. However, I’ve known myself to be a certain way so long. Could I handle emotions like her’s? Would I be dominant and not let her characteristics overrule me?
The Duke hugged this body, pressing Alexandra’s head to his chest. I could hear his heartbeat, an abnormal sound, it’s beating so quickly and vibrates under his skin.
“You,” he said. “You are nothing without her. I cannot love you without her. You will be mended. I will find a way.”
It was clear. The more I observed this situation and the more I replayed every interaction between the two, Alexandra’s love is unrequited. Today was the first time he showed genuine affection and it wasn’t for her. That’s what really has her upset.
“Then why did you marry me?” She asked while clinging to his robe.
“I married you because I didn’t want someone else to taint you. I married you because you resemble her. I married you to better control your abilities and because I wanted to piece her back together.”
“I resembled her. Is that not enough?”
“Do you really think that would be enough for anyone? When I fell for her all those years ago, it was her personality that did me in.” He paused, twirling his fingers in our hair. “She was cold and the more time we spent together I could feel her warmth.”
The Duke pulled strands of our hair up to his face and inhaled. He continues to explain how he stumbled upon Alexandra in this parallel world and how she automatically attached herself to him as a child. The problem with her was simple. All she was and ever will be is a flesh bag of emotions. The center of her world will always be the Duke. He’s all she ever speaks about from dawn to dusk. Prior to even meeting him she knew he was from her dreams.
“This Divine and I are destined lovers,” he sounded amused. “She could learn to love me again without you. She’s grown so much while living in that world. She’s not even aware of it.”
Sadness came over Alexandra. I could feel the weight of it. Her vision dimmed, as if some shade had covered her vision. She knew all along that the Duke never loved her but now she had confirmation. She went back and forth in her mind, wanting to believe that by loving me ultimately meant that he too loved her. Then she looked at me in the corner of her mind and I stared back at her. Alexandra was disappointed. Even though she wished she could control her infatuation with the Duke she couldn’t. She always knew that her love for him was not within her control and now she understands why. And then she recalled the dream that she had long ago when she was a child.
Alexandra dreamt about me who was an orphan at the time. She had recurring dreams up until she began deteriorating. She told the Duke all about these and noticed that he would disappear for long periods of time. Alexandra came to the conclusion that he had been watching me before deciding to bring me here.
“That man murdered you and brought you here to kill me,” she sneered.
Alexandra left me to go back up to the surface. Her anger became desperation and she was capable of anything at this moment.
The sound of thunder sounded as if it were in close proximity. The windows vibrated and lightning struck, brightening the room from outside. I could feel water underneath my feet. I wanted to look but I wasn’t in control.
“I hate her!” She exclaimed. “She was free to choose. I never had the option.”
She is right. Alexandra never had an option. The Duke is like a drug. His voice, touch, and face draw her in like a moth to a flame. Even when he hurts her she cannot refuse him. So she will do what’s within her power and kill us both. If she would have committed to this earlier I would have probably accepted this but I couldn’t allow it. I didn’t want to allow it. I want to know more.
Alexandra’s body was grabbed by several hands. I didn’t notice when staff entered, their scent went briefly unnoticed.
“Hello? Are you in there Victoria,” asked Cassandra.
In the background I could hear Pearl yelling at the Duke. “It didn’t work,” she shouted. “They haven’t mended!”
“I’ve noticed,” yelled the Duke.
The water in the room rose higher and thrashed against the walls. Then it froze and this body was now rooted to the floor. I couldn’t move, no one could.
If I didn’t love him I’d kill him.
I sincerely believe that Alexandra would if she could. Instead she opted for killing us. How am I to prevent us or me from dying. I thought I could regain control but I can’t.
“I’ve got it,” said the Duke.
Within the Duke’s palms appeared Charlie. At some point I questioned if the mongrel was real to begin with but as soon as he appeared I was relieved. The Duke broke himself out of the ice, walked over to the fire place, lit it, and threw the cat in. I fucking lost it.
I thrashed through Alexandra’s mind trying to find my way to the surface. My own vision was hued with red. I instead found the blue door and inside I found Alexandra crying. I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her up. She towered over me, her beautiful curls in a mess. And in those light blue eyes I could see my own reflection. A short black woman with red eyes and kinky hair. This was the me that I’ve known all along. I grabbed Alexandra by her throat and brought her below my level. She sat atop her ankles, looking up at me with lifeless eyes. Killing her crossed my mind. I decided then and there that I wouldn’t take a life for Charlie. Instead I shut that blue door and regained control of this body. I was going to beat the Duke’s ass instead.
Once I gained control the ice melted. I moved in the direction of the Duke with speed but I should have suspected that everyone in the room would have jumped on top of me. With all my might I broke free, kicking and punching who ever dared to get in my way. Thomas and Abigail gave a loud cry.
“The both of you are so weak,” I sneered. “Do you really think that you’d be able to contain me? Why not join me for Alexandra’s sake?”
The siblings were scared to move. In their eyes I’m certain I looked like I was possessed. And when I looked at the Duke to my surprise he was smiling with all the whites of his teeth. Soon that mouth of his is going to be hollow.
“Well finally, we meet again Divine of Destruction,” he laughed.
Without hesitation I began wailing on his body with my fist. He laughed though he couldn’t hide the pain.
“Victoria,” shouted Cassandra. I ignored her. She would be next if she continued. “Look,” she said. I complied with the intention of going for her next. And that’s when I saw my dear Charlie in her arms. My rage melted away.
“Where done with those baby hits,” said the Duke. He picked me up and brought me in front of Cassandra. “Your strength can’t compare to mine just yet.”
He grabbed Charlie and placed the cat in my arms. Patted my head as if it were some great reward. What the hell just happened?
“Let’s get this all cleaned up,” the Duke announced.
The room was in shambles. The double doors knocked off their hinges. Furniture destroyed and the floors wet with water. Some of the furniture looked as if it was struck by lighting by charred appearance. I guess Alexandra did more damage then I thought.
“Her eyes are back to brown,” Pearl commented.
“Pearl,” I looked in her direction. “Fuck off.”
“You know? You weren’t very expressive in the past. I’m starting to like this new you,” Pearl said.
“You think she’ll start to like us more than she likes that cat,” Cassandra asked.
“Probably not,” replied Pearl.