The next two weeks flew by with a series of midterms, and Halloween parties that Eliza’s friends dragged her to. The parties themselves were a usual affair with Eliza sipping two cocktails and being gone and then talking about the philosophy of color theory with someone in the corner. Her group ended up dressed as two cheap-looking Mario brothers and a very drunk Princess Peach. Some of Seb’s skater friends had convinced him that a little day drinking never hurt anyone. His blonde wig barely made it through the first house before he was crying and pointing out boys that could possibly be his true love if only his father had hugged him more.

He had sworn off alcohol for a week after that.

Midterms had been Eliza’s main concern, but with a healthy dosage of library time and the new confidence she gained from finding her thesis project Eliza had beaten the tests back like a vicious five year old after a pinata. It didn’t hurt that her thesis advisor had given her a glowing reception as well.

The key to any good semester was starting off strong so that teachers assumed you turned in good work no matter what. Professor’s were only human and after proving yourself just a little they would grade you with a certain confidence you turned in “A” work. Even if technically some of it was only “B” material by the end of the semester.

The weather had finally turned cooler and it was another blustery Thursday night by the time she left the library. Eliza held her head up high as she walked back to her apartment at a respectable 9 O’clock at night.

The apartment had been friendlier over those past two weeks too-- a type of warmth passing between the two roommates. Of course, it didn’t lead anywhere. Eliza had been dedicating herself to not reading into the reason why nothing had happened. In fact, Eliza was really, really dedicated to not analyzing her personal life right then.

She had seen Mickey the usual amount and kept herself busy enough to not go on any illicit sites, but there was always a little voice in the back of her head. Eliza slowed down as she climbed the steps to her apartment.

She doesn’t want you. Eliza tried to push the words away that tended to bubble up when she got closer to places Mickey would be. Who would want you anyway? Why do you think you’ve barely dated all throughout college?

She doesn’t want you.

Eliza was shivering with the little voice darkly needling her when she shouldered her way into the apartment. The room was brightly lit and smelled like stale coffee. Mickey was sitting on the couch with her papers spread out before her on the table. Her face was scrunched up in utmost concentration.

Her hair was tied back with an entire world of bobby pins and hair clips and her shoulders were taut and raised like a cat’s haunches. Eliza stared at her for a moment. Mickey was different here than her usual confident, cheeky self. A part of Eliza never wanted to look away. A part of her wanted to sample the different flavors of this girl like a never ending buffet.

She turned away instead and made a beeline for the bathroom in order to shower for the night and get ready for bed. Mickey was obviously busy. She didn’t need her around.

Eliza quickly dumped her bag and got her fluffy towels and robe out. She caught another glimpse of Mickey in the living room with a hand threaded through her hair and eyes like angry little dots on her face. Eliza was holding that image in her head when she walked into the bathroom, opened the shower door, and looked down.

“Ah!” She let out a primal cry that rippled out from her core. “Oh! Fuck!” She jumped back as the largest, blackest spider she had ever seen stood like a small military leader in the middle of the shower floor. “No, no, no, no.”

Eliza backtracked out of the small room all the way to the hallway on frantic dancing feet. “Ih.” She shuddered and pawed at her clothes and skin as if to rub off the sight of the enormous spider the size of a teacup plate.

“What is it?” Mickey was beside her and looking wildly around. “Are you alright?”

Eliza slammed the bathroom door shut, “too big!” She shouted, “that was too fucking big!”

“What?” Mickey’s head jerked right and left. “Is something… in there?” She squinted, “because I have a friend with a hand-to-God real life exorcist--”

“DO THEY DO SPIDERS?” Eliza pushed past Mickey to get to the kitchen. She groped around until she found their cheap blue broom with yellow bristles.

“Whoa, whoa.” Mickey put her hands up and stepped in front of Eliza. “Spider?”

“A DEMON, POSSIBLY,” Eliza did not like spiders. Or demons technically. “A DEMON SPAWN SPIDER.”

“Okay there, cowgirl.” Mickey said like she was trying to calm a spooked horse. “Let’s use our indoor voices, it’s in the shower?”

Eliza shuddered, “yes.” She said in a smaller voice. “Plotting to cut our throats in our sleep or reenact that scene in Lord of the Rings where Frodo and Sam meet Shelob--”

“Am I Frodo or are you Frodo here?” Mickey said with a sneaky grin. “Cause I kind of want to be Sam to be honest.”

Eliza through her hands in the air, “Okay, okay, okay.” She took deep breaths, “I’ll just, I’ll just…”

Mickey patted her shoulder, “hey, hey, I got this. I’ll just put a cup over it and throw it off the balcony. No fuss.”

Eliza eyed her, “are… you sure?”

Mickey winked. “What else are roommates for?”

Despite the adrenaline and the haunted vision of spiky dark legs, too many legs, Eliza nodded and felt her entire chest grow warm. “Thank you.”

Mickey went and got a cup and piece of paper, “Besides, I’m not so big on spider murder. They’re good for the environment, you know?”

Eliza did not know. However, she did step aside and let Mickey poke her head into the bathroom. She waited patiently as Mickey padded her way into the small room and opened the old shower door.

“HOLY SHIT!” Scrambling feet and shouting followed as Mickey ducked her way back into the hallway with her face pale and hands empty. “That was,” She was gulped, “that certainly was a big boy.”

Eliza pulled her away from the door and closed it again with a swift slam. She took a deep breath and tightened her grip on the broom. “Okay, okay, okay, okay.” She chanted to herself. “This is… a test. Of courage.” She said slowly, “And I am Frodo! I can do this!”

“Wait, I’m pretty sure Frodo almost dies facing said spider.” Mickey put her hand out.

Eliza turned to her and stood up straight, “Shelob has to go!”

Mickey touched the door reverently, “That was the largest goddamn spider I’ve ever seen.”

Eliza’s heart squeezed painfully, “Do you think it’s karma?” She said in shock.

Mickey snorted, “Why?” She said sardonically. “Kick any puppies or rob any old ladies recently, lamb?”

Eliza’s chest did funny things at being called a pet name, but she shook her head. “No...” Just watched you touch yourself on camera. Perhaps God punishes those with poor boundaries and habits of brown-nosing. She certainly counted for both.

She inhaled through her nose, “I got this.” She stood up straight.

Mickey put her arms out like she was blocking someone on the basketball court, “I know that thing is like… demon shaped as you said, but I’m still not down with spider murder.”

“What?” Eliza’s brow folded inward. “It’s in our house!” She scowled, “it knew what it was getting into.”

“Uh, no? It didn’t?” Mickey put her hands on her hips, “maybe it just needed somewhere to have it’s babies or something.”

“Ah!” Eliza yelped at the thought. “What?!” She said hysterically, “if there are more of those then we definitely won’t be the dominant species after this. It'll be the age of the spider and I will gladly be the first line of defense against it.” She adjusted the broom in her hands.

Mickey glanced over her shoulder at the bathroom and then back to Eliza. She slowly slid down against the door and blocked the entrance. She locked her jaw stubbornly. “I’m not letting you kill it.”

Eliza stared at her with a hard look in her eyes. She turned around and slid against the door next to her. “I’ll make it quick… You won’t have to watch.”

Mickey shook her head. She sighed, “were you always this murder-y?”

Eliza met her eyes as they sat next to each other on the floor. “I dressed up as a knight for Halloween for four years in a row as a kid.” She raised the broom up, “All leading up to this moment.”

“A lady knight?” Mickey snickered, “very gay of you.”

Eliza shrugged, “it was actually based off of being obsessed with Tamora Pierce books back then.”

Mickey’s expression softened, “ah, that’s where it all went wrong.”

Eliza stuck her tongue out, “well, if you’d just let me go back in there and save us, it could all go right again.”

“Nah,” Mickey winked, “I’ve always enjoyed being the villain of the piece. I was obsessed with Team Rocket as a kid.”

She wrinkled her nose, “a pokemon kid.”

“And Digimon! I did all the ‘mon’s. My mom thought it was ridiculous,” She waved a hand in the air and did a mimicking voice. “All those violent Japanese cartoons will mess with your head.”

“Well evidently they didn’t,” Eliza made a face at her, “you’re really not going to let me kill the spider?”

Mickey turned to her, “I’ll make you a deal.” She said heftily, “you help me capture the spider in a cup instead of killing it and I’ll…”

Eliza blinked a couple times and in her wildest dreams, at the edges of her imagination, at the very soft and aching part of her. Mickey ended that sentence with ‘let me take you out on a date.’ She didn’t.

“And I’ll make you dinner for a week.”

Eliza frowned, “I’m usually not here for dinner.”

Mickey leaned forward, “Fine, fine, what do you want then, girly?”

Eliza had to lean back and in those same soft, aching places she knew how she wanted to answer. She knew what she wanted so terribly that it stung and swallowed her raw. She shook her head. “What do I want?” She repeated and gave a watery smile, “to murder, obviously.”

“Ugh,” Mickey shoved her shoulder, “blood thirsty!”

“I don’t want it to come back…”

Mickey huffed and ran a hand through some of her loose hair, “Jeez, I remember praying for a distraction tonight, but this wasn’t what I had in mind.”

Eliza eyed her, “last midterm?”

Mickey looked away, and then back to her lap, and then all around the room like she was tracing unseen shooting stars and trying to make wishes out of dust particles. “Midterm… makeup.” She mumbled.

Eliza frowned softly, “Oh. Were you sick?”

“No.” Mickey’s face folded into something crumpled and injured. She looked away, “it’s nothing.”

Eliza felt something shift inside her. This was another side of Mickey too. She had never known her to be cagey. “Well… if you ever need help. Let me know.” She gave a strained smile, “I’m kind of known for being decent at school.”

Mickey snorted, “just decent?”

“Just decent.” She repeated with a far-away look.

Mickey shook her head. “I’m not… really good with tutors. Or good at school in general.” She looked back down again, “this makeup is just a favor from the professor.” She winced, “she knows I’ve already taken this class before. And that… I’m trying.” It seemed painful for Mickey to say.

Eliza reached for her, as if she could close the gap between them with a single touch. Like she could hold those trembling emotions inside Mickey’s voice in her palm and tell them it would be alright. But she didn’t know if it would be alright.

“Tell you what,” Eliza said calmly, “I need a study buddy too.” She lied, "maybe in exchange for capturing and releasing this Shelob we do some study sessions? Trade some tips? And carry each other up the damn volcano.”

Mickey looked at her with wide eyes and hesitancy. “That’s very sweet. My dear Sam.” There was something very fond in her tone before her expression closed down again like a diseased KFC restaurant, “But I’m serious. The last tutor I had almost smacked me across the face.”

Eliza felt something flare up inside her, “Then they were a shitty tutor!” She announced with the force of something she didn’t know she had in her, “And I don’t give up on people.”

Mickey looked like she was holding her breath. “I’m not sure if you know how bargaining works. You’ll help me save the spider and then help me study?” She leaned forward and suddenly everything seemed darker and closer together, “you’re really letting me have my way with you, lamb.” She tisked.

I’d let you have your way with me any day. If Eliza was a different more flirty person she might have been able to spit that out. But the little voice in the back of her head was persistent: Mickey could have kissed you so many times before this.

Or you could have kissed her.

But the gap was still there.

Eliza gave a slim smile, “Cook me some meals in return.” She said softly, “And then we’ll discuss who’s getting a better deal here.”

“Oh, it’ll definitely be me.” She stretched both arms above her head and gave Eliza a dirty look. “I usually come out on top.”

Eliza could have choked on her own tongue at the way that Mickey said that, but Mickey reached her hand out to help her stand up. “Come on,” she breathed, “put your broom away and let’s find the biggest damn cup we own.”

Eliza stored her weapon and they found a plastic cup that neither of them was particularly attached to. Mickey got a piece of paper. They faced the door, nodded at each other, and let out a terrifying cry that surely woke the neighbors.

“Ahhhh!” They let out their warrior howl and raced inside to raid their bathroom together.