I decided to cool my head off and leave my house. There’s no one around when I left my room, which is good. Maybe Janine angered herself to death, and Ivan cried himself to oblivion. My uncle had been long gone from his work before I even woke up. He seems awfully busy these days. That must have been why Janine is also awfully busy tormenting her son. I never really understood that woman. What is so comforting about torturing your own child? Such thoughts circulated my brain as I walked around the park near my uncle’s home. Before I knew it, the nonsensical nature of it all started to tire me emotionally and physically.

Janine, Ivan, Sir Mark, the golden cross, my fucking dead mom, Room 5010. It’s just been such an awfully stupid year. I just wanted to unwind for a bit and forget about all of that crap for a while. I just wanted a day when nothing happened. A day when no one is screaming around me. A day when everyone and everything is dead but me.

I didn’t quite get that today. But one might argue that I got something better.

I met Lucas Buckley in the park today. He didn’t really approach me or anything. It seemed like he wanted to be left alone. I actually called out to him when I saw him. I didn’t know why I did that. Maybe I just wanted to annoy someone. To revolt to the world. 

Lucas was sitting on the bench next to mine, and I didn’t even notice that it was him at first because he’s wearing a rather queer-looking set of clothes. Violet suit, violet slacks, light pink undershirt, orange tie, a pair of shoes with a bright yellow color, and a dark pink beret. He’s also wearing a pair of glasses with a violet frame. He looked awfully distant when I saw him. It seemed like he’s thinking about the very few things a man of his stature would think about. Stuff that no commoner like me would even dare imagine. I heard he’s a bit of a popular actor from a Netflix show, but nobody ever approaches him in public, and nobody would look at him even though he’s wearing such an extravagant outfit. People just sort of ignored him. A man wearing a bright violet suit in the middle of the park in a sunny afternoon. I called out to him. He seemed awfully silly with a frown while wearing something so colorful and avant-garde. I just couldn’t help myself but to pester him a bit. When Lucas saw me, he didn’t smile the same way he used to, but he approached me with a more relaxed expression. But he wasn’t angry. So I guess my operation was a failure? 

He asked me what I’m doing in the park. I said that I just want to let go of some bullshit in my life. He said that that’s pretty much the same reason he’s here too. Lucas is really not a nasty person. He can be awfully naughty when he’s in a cheerful mood, but he seems relatively tame now. More than anything, I adore how he learned from his mistake. He never once told me any sexually suggestive jokes after that little debacle we had on my first day. Our conversation trailed off right away after a bit of small talk. Then, I dunno, I think we just spent a few minutes looking at nothingness before he invited me to go have lunch with him. As usual, I politely declined. He then smiled at me. The same carefree smile he would show whenever he sees me at the shop. Everything feels so messed up lately that seeing Lucas wearing those clothes is enough to put a stupid smile on my face. He then smacked his knees and stood up as a way of him saying that he has to leave now. He then said something like “good afternoon” before he walked away.

As I saw his back slowly receding away from me, I started asking myself what exactly is the worst that could happen if I have lunch with Lucas. So I called out his name. He turned his body towards me, and I asked him I will eat lunch with him if he would pay for it. It’s because I didn’t bring any money with me, but I never told him that. He said that if that’s the only worry I have, I should not have been worried at all. I scoffed at him with a mocking smile when he said that, and he just chuckled at me as he approached me again. 

Lucas asked me where I want to eat as he wrapped his arms gently around my shoulders. I then remembered what had happened to Ivan and me. What my older cousin did to me was still very much fresh in my mind, and it still makes me shake when that disgusting orgy. My memory jumbled in my head around as I remembered how Ivan did that same gesture to me when we went to Room 5010. He wrapped my shoulder with his hand and trapped me, disallowing me to escape. I flinched instantly when Lucas’ arms fell upon my shoulders. That silly man immediately took his hands off me when he noticed this. I didn’t want to ruin the mood, so I told Lucas that it’s okay, and I didn’t mind his friendly gesture. He just smiled at me as he asked me again where I wanted to eat. I imagined that actors must have been eating at some extravagant 5-star restaurants, so I jokingly told him to surprise me. Lucas never placed his hands on my shoulders again throughout the day.

He then brought me to a family restaurant a few walks away from the park. I have never been to this restaurant before, but it does not look as opulent as I imagined. I was surprised. Lucas must have noticed my reaction. I remembered him asking me if he won. And I told him, yes, but he has no prize. That ridiculous man wearing an equally ridiculous outfit then looked at my face and said that he already got his prize while looking at me. I just let out a hysterical laugh when I heard this and smacked his shoulders before I followed him towards the restaurant. The place is cozy. There’s also few people inside. Lucas told me it often gets packed at nighttime. I was not surprised to hear that. The place has that homey vibe that would lure tired office workers who just want to have a brilliant time after an otherwise stressful day. The meal is outrageously delicious as well! I ordered a simple bacon-and-eggs dish, and Lucas ordered a salad, and we both had a fantastic time. It really is the small moments in life that make a monumental difference.

For a moment, I forgot about the bullshit. I forgot about Janine, Ivan, Sir Mark, the golden cross, my fucking dead mom, Room 5010, all that drama! For just a few moments, I feel like I have experienced a bit of happiness. I think it’s all because Lucas and I didn’t really speak much during our meal. We just had this understanding that both of us are having a great time, and none of us needs to utter a word to make this time feel any better. It’s just peaceful. I needed this. It seems like Lucas feels the same way. I really felt like I established a connection with him at that moment. 

But after the meal, all the stupid shit I have going around in my head poured back inside of me again. I just looked at my empty plate with a sullen look on my face, and when Lucas noticed this, he asked me if I wanted another dish. I laughed at him and said that I feel delighted with my meal and am very full already. He was still curious about my downcast gaze, so he asked me if I’m okay. This is the second time he said this to me, and it never really fails to uplift my spirit.

I told him I’m feeling well. 

Lucas said he didn’t believe me. 

I said this beautiful place is not the right place to talk about something like that. I even joked that my depressing story might ruin his lovely outfit. 

Lucas just chuckled at me while shaking his head as he stood up. He extended his hands towards me and asked me to come with him to somewhere else that will make me feel better. That silly, silly man said that he will only take me there if I consented to this invitation of his. I was confused, but I can sense his good intentions because of the sincerity in his eyes. He really wanted to make me feel better. Perhaps he also wishes the same. We both wanted to just have a great time. That must have been why he wanted me to come with him.

I took his hand without hesitation.