“Maybe if I ignore the feeling, then it’ll go away.”
The young man had long given up on trying to talk to his roommate, who was muttering phrases that could have been out of drunken context, but it was the wrong time and wrong place for that.
The other was staring down from the balcony, tapping the metal railing with his glasses. For a moment, he paused, and stopped tapping.
“Luca?”
Luca looked up at him. From his friend came an uneasy aura, something pricking in his mind that had been left unsaid for quite awhile.
“What?” Luca perked up, yet brushed away his hair with a shaky hand. “Is there, um, something wrong?”
“Have you ever… have you ever… fallen for anyone?”
Luca stared downward, but his gaze was not directed toward the ground. He didn’t know how to reply to his friend’s question, though he inched closer as though to hide his hesitance.
“Just… you can even lie… I don’t really care. I just want to know.”
Luca began to fidget with his hands. A nervous laugh escaped from his mouth, and he felt his face flush with heat. He was sure it was a bright red by then, which he was scared that his friend would've noticed.
There was no straight answer he could give his friend. The first and truest answer he could give the other man was that the person he had fallen for... was him.
Luca had fallen for him in ways that he had never foreseen. There was the way that his friend spoke, how he could calm a tense room in an instant, how he seemed to think before he would speak. There was that kind look in his eyes, which sparkled a bright, beautiful emerald green. They held so many secrets yet told so much upon a glance.
There was… so much he could describe about his friend. He couldn't say it all in words.
“You're hesitating.” Rilon's voice grew quiet, and shame hitched in his tone. He fell back to sit down on the balcony. “I knew I shouldn't have asked it. That was a stupid question, wasn't it?”
“No, no. Is perfect question, Rilon.” Luca turned away from the balcony. He found Rilon absentmindedly playing with the earpieces of his glasses.
Luca sat down and scooted to sit before Rilon. Rilon's breath came to a standstill; he held his glasses up before his face. In the dim light, Luca could see that his cheeks were covered in a very light blush.
“Could I… ask you question?” Once Rilon had put his glasses on, Luca chose to speak. “Have you ever… kissed anyone before?”
“I... I don't suppose I ever have, unless you count, um...” The blush in his cheeks grew a brighter red. His eyes began to sparkle and he sniffed, “No, I suppose it doesn't matter.”
Though Luca didn't want to probe into it, he lowered his voice to a hoarse whisper and asked, “What is it?”
Rilon shook his head and smiled shyly. “I haven't kissed anyone. Are you asking because... Oh?”
“I don't feel like I'm saying this in way that I want to mean... but.. I... I really love you. That's the answer to your question. ”
“Have you kissed anyone before?”
The question caught Luca by surprise, though he genuinely should have anticipated that Rilon would have said it.
Still, however, Luca shook his head. “Why? Are you, perhaps… asking to...?” He bent forward, raising his hand to lightly brush Rilon's cheek — the young man smiled against the touch.
“I don't see any other answer to that question.” Rilon pressed his forehead to Luca's and laughed.
As they leaned into each other, Luca could feel his heartbeat slow, though it was pounding in his ears. Still, the aura around the two grew calm, forcibly shoving their surroundings away.
When Luca's lips met Rilon's, he didn't want to pull away. He felt a rising anxiety in his chest that forced him closer, but slowly, cautiously.
He knew what he liked about Rilon now. The way he made Luca feel safe, even now in their strange embrace. He loved everything about him.
He loved him, even if words couldn't express it.
They only pulled away for a second, breathing heavily against the cold air. Rilon took hold of Luca's collar and pulled him close again. A euphoric chuckle came from his throat.
“I... I...” Rilon was at a loss for words, clearly. Luca could tell that he felt the same way he had during the intimate moment. “I love you, too.”
He threw his arms around Luca's shoulders, to which Luca laughed at and murmured, “Shall we do it again?”
Luca held back a smile, though it escaped as a laugh forced its way up his throat. “Maybe.” He said. “Unless yes is answer you’re looking for.”
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